get child to take responsibility - move out of house

D - posted on 08/27/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi - We have a just turned 21 year old. She works at a local restaurant and makes good tips. The power of cash at hand! We moved about 3 years ago right after she graduated from high school. Bc we moved out of state she had to wait a year for in state tuition. By then the urge and desire to go to college/community college was gone.....Now she hangs with friends, stays out most nights, comes home to wash clothes and put in a little "parent" time and is sweet. My husband wants her out bc he can't stand to see her waste her life. She is smart but lazy as much as I hate to admit. I am supposed to talk to her today and have her move out. It's tough. Also - she is the youngest of 3 children the other 2 are quite successful and my husband and myself each have advanced degrees so it's not like she doesn't have any role models....Help!


Ev - posted on 08/27/2013




She is 21. You can not make those choices for her anymore not since the age of 18. Also not everyone is college material. Maybe she just wants to work at waitressing or something that has her interest. You can not expect her to be just like the rest of the family.

Your husband is right though. Its time for her to spread her wings and fly so to speak. SHe needs to learn what the world outside the nest is and how it works. She is being enabled if she stays at your home all the time. Time to change locks and put her stuff on the porch if she can not understand she needs to go. But do give her a time limit like a month to get things set up and then tell her bye.

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