Getting close to the end of my rope. How can I enjoy motherhood more?

Jodi - posted on 03/10/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a stay-at-home momma of two girls, 5&2. My hubby works away about 40 percent of the time, and when he is home he works 40 hours a week. He is self employed and there are lots of times we are living paycheque to paycheque, which is stressful. We don't have family in town and my hubby has been adamant that only I or he look after our children. He grew up with divorced parents and was shuffled back and forth from one home to the other, with different daycares and care providers at each home. So, as you can imagine, I am going a bit crazy. We thought he would be home more, and when he was home have more time off and a more flexible schedule. So many days I just get through them, without much joy or direction or attentiveness. I have tried having more structure to our days, but with the constant disruption of my hubby coming and going its very difficult to maintain any structure. Or I will get an awesome ritual going with the kids, say at bedtime. Its awesome. Then dad gets home and wants to do it his way.
How do you moms do it???

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Charity - posted on 03/13/2014

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Yeah, I barely get any breaks either because my husband doesn't want me to leave my baby with a sitter. I can understand how he feels because it's a dangerous world out there, but sometimes, it would be nice to just go out for a couple hours with girl friends and not have to bring my 4 month old, but, I guess that's what it's like being a mom now. My life has changed!

Jodi - posted on 03/10/2014

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It's all fine and dandy for your husband to dictate to you that only you or he look after the children, but he's not the one that has to do it, is he? Sorry, but I think he is being selfish on several levels. Firstly, there is nothing wrong with a child being in a consistent daycare sometimes, and in fact, it can be very healthy for them. Secondly, dad needs to have more respect for your routines. HIS level of disruption to your routines is just as bad as his childhood would have been - try to get him to understand that.

Jodi - posted on 03/10/2014

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Thanks for your reply. I do have some great girlfriends in town, and I go to playgroups with the kids. Just sometimes I need a break, just me. No kids. I do get breaks, but they are maybe once a month, for a few hours. I have started doing yoga with my girls at home following a kids video. That is a nice escape that we can do together. Best of luck with your baby girl. Congrats!

Charity - posted on 03/10/2014

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I wish I had some suggestions for you, but I don't. I'm a mom of a 3 month old baby girl and I know it's really tough. My husband feels the same way about a baby sitter so, we don't get to go out much anymore. Is there anyway you could meet some girl friends in the area to spend time with and maybe do stuff with the kids. My family also lives far away so, yeah, it does stink. That's for sure.

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