getting emotionally abused by hubby when you are pregnant.

Mazee - posted on 07/08/2011 ( 18 moms have responded )

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i want to know if its normal for husbands to emotionally abuse their wifes when they are pregnant especially with second borns.

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JuLeah - posted on 07/08/2011

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No, not normal. Men don't hurt women. Men don't hurt children. They don't hurt with their words or bodies.



They way we can tell men, from all the other duds not worth our time is like this ... Men don't hurt women.



Now, that being said, I don't know what all he is doing. This might be a situation that can be fixed with the right intervention; that can happen.



But, if you are being abused in any fashion, know this. You didn't cause it, can't cure it. It is on him and him alone. Regardless of any excuse he might give, the blame is all on him.



Abuse is a choice. Don't believe any bs he might give about "can't control myself"



Abuse is a choice. Abuse is learned behavior.



So, how he treats you will be how your sons treat their wives and how your daughter's will be treated.



If change does not happen



You are NOT alone ... 1 in 3 relationships involve abuse.



There are options, there is help .... lean on family if they will listen and understand. Lean on community.



Know you are worth it. Know you deserve better. Know there are men out there who never ever abuse

Christy - posted on 07/08/2011

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AND BTW, you are better than that. Don't let him tell you otherwise.

Katherine - posted on 07/08/2011

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Mine was very verbally abusive. He was mean with the first and worse with the second. I don't think there is a correlation though.
He treated me terribly and called me names, didn't help....etc

Is that what yours is doing?

Sasha - posted on 09/24/2012

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No, it is NEVER okay to experience emotional abuse, or otherwise. If you are experiencing abuse GET OUT NOW!! Take it from me, a woman who has had two beautiful children, now pregnant with my third, and has been through hell with each pregnancy. " They" say it does not get better, now I know why.



I was so excited about my first pregnancy, my partner was not. I did not get out then, there were many tell-tale signs. The abuse only increased, quickly became physical. I went to the shelter twice, went back twice.



With my second pregnancy I wanted to get out, but did not until it was too late, my daughter was born two months premature after too much emotional abuse, and a final physical push, resulting in a fall. I STILL did not get out. I couldn't afford an attorney, and had no funds for anything, after MUCh financial abuse. Did I ever mention that my HR Director husband won't put me on the bank account, and left me with the bills for both pregnancies-totaling several hundred thousand dollars? Yes, financial ruin.



I am now pregnant with my third baby, I just took a home test the other day. Have I mentioned that my husband will not use birth control? Right now he is VERY angry, won't acknowledge me/talk to me. He is being very scary and possessive of the kids, controlling with the money/debit card-which is loaned-out, then taken back, it does not have my name on it. He told me to get a pedicure, then yelled at me about it(?typical). Oh, did I mention that he works at a four star resort and spa?



I am forty-four years old, feel scared, isolated, and alone. We have moved five times in four years for my husband's work. I borrowed a good deal of money for a divorce from my father. I was almost divorced, allowed my almost ex to charm me into abating(dropping) the divorce. I was not going to receive much money from him in the divorce as we had not been married a long time. With two kids under four, not in school, and no one to help me, I thought I would not be able to make it. The last trip, trip three, to the shelter helped me, but scared me. The realities are harsh, but the freedom is worth it. So, do not be foolish, like me. Nothing gets better, it only gets worse........GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. MY POOR KIDS, WHAT HAVE I DONE!!! THERE WERE SO MANY EMPTY PROMISES, AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INTUITION, BECAUSE I DID NOT.



GOOD LUCK, AND REMEMBER IT IS BEST TO BE FREE.



FOOLED ME ONCE SHAME ON YOU, FOOLED ME TWICE SHAME, ON ME. FOOLED ME THREE TIMES???

This conversation has been closed to further comments

18 Comments

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Krystal - posted on 07/17/2011

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My ex started out emotionally abusing me while I was pregnant with our daughter, and it only got worse. It went from emotional, financial, mentally, and the physically....in the hospital...then he turned on our daughter....you either need to get out now, or get help, because if this is how he is gonna be when your pregnant, I can't imagine what he will be like once the baby is born..

Tara - posted on 07/11/2011

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I feel that IS being abusive. You both had a part in making these children, that means you both have a part in raising the children. He needs to get over himself and start acting like a grownup and a parent as well as a decent human being.

Katherine - posted on 07/11/2011

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Well to me that IS being abusive. He is blaming you for something that should be both of your parts.

Mazee - posted on 07/11/2011

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well, thank you for the response ladies. nothing vulgar though. just that he thinks our 3yo. son is spoilt and its because of me. every bad thing he does its me. its like im the parent in the house and he is the money maker and that really hurts because i am heavily pregnant, still go to work and find time to do the household chores, including his entertainment.

Katherine - posted on 07/08/2011

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Yep he did, that's one of the big reasons we're divorcing. It was 10 fold while I was pregnant though.

Christy - posted on 07/08/2011

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NO. At no point should ANY husband emotionally abuse their wives, pregnant or not. It is sadistic in nature and sick. If this is pertaining to you, GET OUT NOW, for the sake of your kids and yourself.

Krista - posted on 07/08/2011

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No, it is never normal. And it is never acceptable. Ever.

What is it that he's saying to you?

Stifler's - posted on 07/08/2011

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It's not normal or acceptable. We need more info though if you want any kind of advice.

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