Getting frustrated with daycare family

Michelle - posted on 05/01/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have a family with three children that come to my home. I am a mother of three and have been doing daycare on and off for ten years now. I enjoy doing it. I love kids. But there is absolutely no structure or consistency with these kids. The baby is only 4 months younger than my little guy and it's like night and day. There baby ( and I taking 18 months) pukes all the time. On my curtains, couch, bed, floor, backyard....he pukes water. I have discussed this with them and now have eliminated milk, but there is puke everywhere still. He also eats like an animal, everything and evrythingbas fast as he can to the mouth. I have been working on trying to take slow easy little bites without (smashing) his food. I have been asking the parents to continue at home, and they have said his eating habits are cute and amusing. Do I give up on trying to teach him to eat properly?
And then there is there (wonderful????) three year old who chews everything. I mean everything. Barbie legs to knawing on the corner of my coffee table. She throws tantrums and screams and hits me. Her tantrums are affecting the other kids and I have spoke to the parents and nothing seems to be working. I now have a ( time out tote) I have to contain her, she has tore up flooring and scratches her fingers all over the walls. And then there is there 4 year old. He's a sweetheart but has hit a phase of lying and spitting. My biggest problem is that I am somewhat friends of the mother and subtle hints, conversations and nothing seems to be changing with the kids. I know how hard it is to find a good daycare and in my area there's not any other options especially with 3 kids and 12 hours a day. How can I approach her with out upsetting her about her kids, or do I give her notice and let them be someone elses problem??? Please please help me!!

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Medic - posted on 05/01/2012

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Just tell her you feel that you are not the right match for her kids and that you feel there is a better fit somewhere else.

Alison - posted on 05/01/2012

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I would just tell her that you are unable to take care of her three children right now and ask her to start looking for another alternative.

September - posted on 05/01/2012

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Well since you've already made some helpful suggestions I'm not really sure what else you can do. Maybe you can sit with them again and let them know that if they are not willing to address the issues that it might be time for them to find a different daycare. In the meantime if I were you I would continue to encourage good behavior and eating habits while the children are in your care.



ETA: It's also important to not compare children since they are all so different, as I'm sure you're quite aware.

Michelle - posted on 05/01/2012

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I have made several suggestions, I have suggested stomach specialists, changing his diet, feeding him slowly.......then after a weekend, they tell me a funny story about how he ate so much cake he threw up. I see no humor in this. Pure frustration in all the work of trying to teach him to eat without smashing it in his mouth. I have never in these years encountered children like this.
With the three year old, I regulary request that time outs need to be given immediately. Response time to inappropriate behavior is key. I personally feel like everything said is disregarded and they feel there children have NO issues.
How do I stress these points across more firmly with out stepping on moms toes and make her feel her parenting skills aren't cutting it?? My 20 month old is better behaved then the 3 year old. Table manners and skills are better than the 4 year old.

September - posted on 05/01/2012

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I think you should talk to the parents about their child and the issues you're having. Since you've been running a daycare business for the past 10 years maybe you could provide some helpful suggestions as well. Good luck!

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