Getting married custody modification

Idette - posted on 08/27/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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im getting married in a week. i have primary custody of my 5yr old daughter, her father has an order to see her every other weekend but he hasnt picked her up in over a month giving me excuses and so on. i just say ok its fine you can pick her up when you can. He now doesnt have a stable home and Im not sure if I should let her stay with him this weeknd I am looking out for her best interest. we live in philadelphia im not sure how the law works with custody. i would like to know if I have a reasonable reason to modify the custody order being as though I am getting married also my daughter seems to always be very upset when she did stay with him. please help i dont know what to do at this point

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Dove - posted on 08/28/2015

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Ending visitation for just not seeing her for over a month?! lol lol lol lol

Sorry to laugh, but considering my kids just this summer saw their father for the first time in 2 years... yeah, you sound completely silly to me.

He is her father and he has a right to continue a relationship w/ her. Yeah, it's hard, but your daughter can be OK w/ YOUR help. You don't cut her father out of her life to help you. You work w/ her on her feelings about the situation and give her the tools to be OK through the pain. Life is pain. You can't protect your child from all of it and that's not your job. Your job is to help her through it. She has a father that isn't very involved... that's going to hurt whether she keeps seeing him or not. HELP her through it... don't try and make the problem go away because it won't. She's a part of him.

Michelle - posted on 08/28/2015

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You would be better off talking to a lawyer but you won't be able to modify visitation at such short notice.
Surely you knew that you were getting married well before now and you could have done something about it then.
Him not paying child support has nothing to do with visitation either.

Jodi - posted on 08/27/2015

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Well, none of what you are talking about here is abuse or neglect. It's not ideal, but it isn't anything they'd strip rights for.

Jodi - posted on 08/27/2015

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If you want to end his visitation, you need to file for new orders - you can't just decide not to let her go any more. But again, if you have no evidence of neglect or abuse, they are unlikely to strip him of all visitation.

Idette - posted on 08/27/2015

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@ Sarah E. our order does state that she stay at a specific address, I am looking to end his visitation entirely. Only because it seems to cause more heart break for my child and i hate to see her upset, further more he is not paying child support nor is he in any stable condition to even care for her. im so confused

Jodi - posted on 08/27/2015

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It doesn't sound like she is neglected or abused by her father. Unless you have evidence to the contrary, I highly doubt they will strip him of visitation - he already gets the minimum. And no, you can't just keep her from him this weekend because you don't think she should go. Then HE could go file for contempt and claim parental alienation.

Sarah - posted on 08/27/2015

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You won't have time to modify the order by this weekend. If you ask him of his plans and he has an a reason for not picking her up, then i think you can let her stay wherever you choose. Just as if he were parenting,he could let her sleep over at grandma's house. Unless it is specified in your custody decree that the child must sleep at a specific address, I can't see why it'd be a problem.
Since you mention you are getting married, are you looking to end his visitation entirely?

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