Getting married...HIS KIDS LIVE WITH HIM!!

Jarinda - posted on 03/09/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Getting married to a man I know is my soul mate. He has twin 10 year old boys who I love with all of me and they live with us ..BUT THE BM is in and out the picture I wish she would either be in or out its confusing the kids!!!

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Jodi - posted on 03/09/2015

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I just want to assure you that the kids figure it out on their own. As long as they have one stable home/parent in their lives, they will be fine. My son is now 17 and has only seen his father sporadically for the last 5 or 6 years. At this point, he hasn't seen his dad since January this year, although he has spoken to him a couple of times on the phone. He might see him at Easter, we will see. But he is the most well-adjusted teen you will ever meet. Just maintain a positive attitude, never say anything about the other parent unless it is positive, and continue to encourage the relationship as best you can. Frustrating, yes, but the kids love their other parent no matter how flaky. A child can understand the two co-exist.

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Jarinda - posted on 03/09/2015

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Thank u all. Im ready to be happy and I'm willing to deal with anything to be with the man I love.... Even the BM LOL

Mommabird - posted on 03/09/2015

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There's a prayer i think about in situations like this..forgive me if I dont quote it correctly...God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Other than that I dont know what else to say that the other ladies haven't.

Raye - posted on 03/09/2015

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Jardina, I hear what you're saying. I my husband has custody of his two kids, 7 and 10. Their Bio-Mom often cancels her visitation and doesn't show up for recitals, sports, birthday parties and such. But when she does want to take them she wants it on her terms and she usually ends up ignoring them while they're with her. Ugh! It's so frustrating, and, you're right, it is hard on the kids.

But the kids also need to form a relationship with their mother, and her actions will dictate what kind of relationship that will be. They will learn that she's not looking out for them, and they will form their own opinions on whether they want to spend time with her. My stepson already complains about having to go with his mom, and sometimes he flat out refuses. My stepdaughter is still hopeful that her mom will be better, but I feel she's going to keep being disappointed. It's very sad. But hopefully you can be a positive influence in their lives and show them what a real loving relationship can be like.

Good luck on your wedding and your lives together.

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