Getting over your baby's dad

Jessica - posted on 01/26/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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After being with my child's father for two years and breaking up, how can i help with getting over him? I'm pregnant with his second kid and we just recently broke up. He likes to drag me along and says we will work on things but doesn't show that he cares nor wants to... Can any moms help with coping or have any advice? I would appreciate it !

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Leigh - posted on 01/27/2014

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Yes. My ex and I were around the same age. I was 20 and he was 23. He was all about his social life. I was out working a night shift full time job, pregnant as hell and he was out and about getting drunk. I was over his crap for a long time, but I felt that eventually he would grow up and put more into us, well at least his baby. Nothing ever changed and eventually I finally came to terms with the fact that he was never going to change. I wasted my 20's on him but was blessed with 3 more beautiful boys....so not really wasted but you know what I mean. Good luck and make the best decision for you and the kids.

Jessica - posted on 01/27/2014

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Thank you so much for the advice! We're still young, he's 22 and Im 20 so I feel like he still wants to go out and enjoy himself and not have to worry about us.

Leigh - posted on 01/26/2014

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I dealt with the same thing from my children's father. He was irresponsible, lazy, no motivation, was fine where he was in life and I just wanted more. I cared about him a lot and wanted more for us. I had a son from a previous relationship and a child with him and I reluctantly broke it off several times. I always hoped he would try and would put as much into our relationship. We broke up for two years and got back together because I thought maybe he had grown up a bit. He loved the bar seen and never saved money. I thought because he got all of that partying out of his system that maybe he had some sort of an epiphany...boy was I wrong. I got pregnant with his second child and thought we could be happy and all the old stuff that bothered me before never changed. He cheated on me and left me for a girl he had just met 3 weeks prior to meeting her. I let him come back home and he seemed to feel really sorry for it. Several months after our second child was born I went to get on birth control and found out I was pregnant again! I was so happy especially when I found out it was a fourth boy and when I was about 6 months he cheated on me again.. Each time I let him come back girl everything seemed fine, but I was an idiot to put any faith in him. I know that sounds mean but people don't change. They may make improvements on something's. But if your man hasn't changed now he may never.. Sit down and have a serious talk with him, put your foot down and if you do not see him even trying to make things work, well you do need him. Don't let him drag you along and leave you with uncertainty . It's not fair to you or your children. You deserve happiness . I put 8 years in to a man that always told me he was going to put in the effort and never did. Even tho it was hard for me to walk away from it, I finally did! And I finally found happiness with a wonderful man that loves me and my 4 boys.

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