Girlfriends 11 year old daughter

John - posted on 04/05/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello,
Just a thank you in advance for helping us get through this stage of Helens life.
A little bit about myself: I was married for 25 years before getting divorced about 3 years ago. I have four collage age daughters that are my world!! I have to say I never remember any of my own daughters acting this way however I do realize the situation is a bit different. My girlfriend lives about four hours away so I go and visit usually on the weekends because of work. My girlfriend and her x have allowed Helen to sleep with them when she is at either of their homes. I know this is not right and now they have been trying to break the cycle of what they started. A typical bed time routine is for Helen to scream and cry and tell her mom when her mom is trying to talk to her she doesn't love her, I want my daddy, and she also makes sure to tell her mom that she doesn't like me either. This can go on for any where from about 1-3 hours. I know this is manipulation on Helens part however it is very difficult to listen to every time I'm here! I am sure others have dealt with this type of behavior from their kids so I am hoping to hear how they have dealt with it.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/05/2014

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ANd truly, maybe she doesn't like you. Maybe you don't make the girl feel liked. Maybe you need to make more of an effort to have a connection with her. Remember, the girl has gone through a divorce right on the cusp of puberty. Stop being so judgmental, and if you don't get along with the girl now, there should be no future with her mother. Perhaps when you are around, the daughter is treated differently. Many women will try to put the new man first instead of the kids and it can cause a lot of strife between child and parent. You are not her parent, so don't be giving your girlfriend parenting advice please.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/05/2014

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The daughter in my opinion sounds like she just needs love and attention from her parents and is trying to get it any way she can.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/05/2014

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Well, the sleeping issue really is non of your business. Many parents co sleep with their children, and is completely normal. As far as the other issues, it is really the parents problem. If you do not enjoy your visits, maybe stop going or visit your friend when their daughter is at the other parents house? I am really not clear who Helen is, it sounds like it is your friends daughter?

Many children do not deal with divorce well, and I am sure they are all trying to deal with the emotions as best as possible. Hopefully you are showing this family support. The daughter is only 11 and may not understand that she is indeed manipulating her parents.

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