Giving custody to a father for work.

Katie - posted on 01/18/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am a mother of two girls 9 and 6 I have had full custody since birth. My oldest daughter has a different father. My ex husband Is the father of my youngest daughter! For the past six years I have been in and out of court fighting we have a 32 page custody agreement w every detail you could possibly imagine! (I have never started court never been the one to argue or fight).. He owns a large company where we live and has a lot of accessible money go waist so that's what he chooses to do.. My youngest daughter financially is set for life here in Illinois. I have been a single mother struggling to make ends meet since my divorce in 2008. I recently got a job offer in California to make 200k a year.. And for me to go I would have to leave my youngest here (I have a court order that I'm unable of move 70 miles from her father) I'm heart broken!! I'm lost and don't know what to do I can change my custody agreement so I get her two weekends a month and all long weekends she has off school summer spring break an we would switch off holidays yearly! What to do.... This is the only way I would be able to take this job offer and for myself and my daughters and my niece which I have custody of it would be life changing please help me

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Katie - posted on 01/18/2014

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My oldest child's father has never been in the picture hes a dead beat.. I have a strong relationship w my daughters my youngest is just like me and I am every day sick to my stomach to even think about leaving her here but I am just not makin it I can't provide how I'd like to! Bills are always late and it's a constant battle w him cause he always wants to fight about everything....

Jodi - posted on 01/18/2014

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I can see why you would consider this an option, and I think, in your shoes, I would very seriously consider it, but it is going to take some work. You need to talk to a lawyer to change the custody orders. You could petition for permission to relocate with your youngest, but it sounds like it is unlikely you will win that one. However, you could definitely look at your visitation rights, and how that would work for you and your youngest daughter.

basically, you have 3 children to consider here, and it sounds like this may be the best option for two children (you didn't mention the oldest child's father in the picture??), and the other certainly won't suffer. She will definitely miss you, and life will change for her, but if you can find a way to see her regularly and make regular phone calls, she will adjust.

I can't imagine having to make a decision like this. But I can understand why you would choose it. You need to do what feels right.

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