God Child

Lucitta - posted on 04/14/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello.
This may be a bit long winded.
I just received word this morning that a good male friend of mine passed away last night in a work accident. His daughter was placed in a home while things were sorted, but as her godmother I am taking custody of her.
While I was very close to her father, I have spent only minimal time with her. I don't have custody of her yet, but weill be receiving it very shortly, within the next few days.
I have no idea how to welcome her in to our home, and make her comfortable. I have no idea how to support her in this time of loss. I have no idea how to talk to my children about having her come and live with us. My oldest, Lu, understands and is all for it, and my youngest Arthur sees it as getting a younger sister. My middle son Marzio has been acting out a bit lately, and going with his current disrespectful and disobedient phase, he strongly dislikes the extra person coming in.
She is 11 years old.
Could anybody please offer me advice?

Thank you.

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Raye - posted on 04/15/2015

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Tell your children that they are lucky to have a good home, and this poor girl has not been as lucky as them. Tell them that they do not have a say in her being there... she will be there whether they like it or not... so they better get used to the idea and don't cause problems. She's been through a lot, and doesn't need their selfishly bad behavior. You will still love them and care for them the same as you always have.

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Lucitta - posted on 04/15/2015

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Hello, Raye.
I have an fortunate and unfortunate response to your post. Fortunately, 2 out of the 3 are actually excited for her to come live with us. Only 1 out of 3 isn't, but he's been having a bad attitude about almost everything lately, so I expected nothing else. Unfortunately, my children haven't always been as lucky as they are now, Lu and Marzio had a rough start to life, and Arthur is too young to remember. Thankfully their father isn't around any longer, so they are now lucky.
We believe she will spend the first night with us Saturday. They actually expect her in school on Monday, which I think will not happen.
Thank you.

Lucitta - posted on 04/15/2015

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Hello, Gena.
Thank you.
Her mother unfortunately hasn't been in the picture since a few months after her birth, and isn't eligible to have custody for reasons I won't go in to.
Unfortunately I think you are right about counselling. When I go back in to sign the rest of the documents I will ask for some recommended counselors in our area.
As for shopping, I will need to see how she feels about that, although a new wardrobe to mix in with the clothing she is comfortable with would probably help a little.

Thank you.

Gena - posted on 04/14/2015

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Sorry for the loss of your friend. I have a question though,where is her mother? Maybe you could go shopping together and make her room all nice and pretty for her as a welcome.I would let her know that she can talk to you about anything any time. Maybe she will need counseling to cope with the loss of her father and the new living situation. The best is to just be there for her and let her know that you care about her. Good luck

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