Government Assistance

Chelsea - posted on 08/07/2013 ( 54 moms have responded )

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Ok, Yea I don't have children but my boyfriend has three. I got in a car wreck because my brakes failed and I totaled my car. I had to quit my job because I was working 1st shift and my bf was working 2nd and our jobs were at the complete other side of a town that is a 30 min drive for us. I applied for government assistance Foodstamps, Medicaid, pretty , much everything I could. We had full coverage on my car yet the insurance company seems to be taking there time. With me not working and our bills being crazy high WE NEED THE HELP. I have had a job and held one for years, pay my taxes and give to the community. I got a phone call saying that since I have no children and my boyfriends children don't live with us I cant receive any medical help. And since I have no children I cant receive any other help either. My boyfriend is pretty much twice my age so his children are grown. I am stuck at home with no car and no job, and no help. I mean I have so many friends that are getting 200 a month for foodstamps, Wic and all medical free, because they have children... My friend has worked for 6 months her entire life and then sits at home with her one child and claims she cant work because she cant trust anyone with her son.. She gets everything free.. And her boyfriend also makes 15 an hour. Then she calls me up saying she is pregnant again, but she isn't worried because the government will pay for it... Meaning all of us that work... Seriously? I get denied because I don't have children? I still have bills and physically cant work and I want to work, but to deny me because I don't have children? On top of that my boyfriends ex wife just got thousands of dollars in disability because she was a DRUG ADDICT!!! I mean all of this stuff really boils my blood.. people getting government money, OUR taxes because they cant afford children or they do drugs or are alcoholics.. This just doesn't seem right. You would think the government would be more willing to help the people that arnt druggies, or alcoholics, and has pretty much supported themselves, and does not have children they cant afford.. I mean I have not had a child because I DONT want to struggle. Which I found out with how much my boyfriend makes if we did have a child we could not get any assistance because he makes too much? This is all so frustrating. WE pay taxes, we constantly work, but because I have no children I cant get any help, and if I did have a child they still wouldn't help us. But most of my friends that are working fast food or not working at all can have a child each year and have the government take care of everything.. What sense does that make. Why would you rather help someone out that has done nothing for this country, that refuses to work, but doesn't believe in birth control, or messes their own lives up with drugs and alcohol then someone that doesn't do drugs, and doesn't drink, and pays ungodly amount in taxes, and chooses to wait to have a child. Either way I'm screwed, have a child only with my boyfriends salary on top of a crazy amount of bills, get a job, pay a babysitter and have even more bills, or don't have one at all because I will receive no help from the government. I am not just speaking about things I have no clue about I have spent hours researching all of this, and seen and heard it all. I have no clue what to do anymore. I keep getting screwed by the government. Just for votes? Why do people that cant support themselves and their family get everything? And the ones that need the help due to no fault of their own get screwed.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jodi - posted on 08/07/2013

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And if your boyfriend is earning too much for you to get any help even if you had a child, then you are doing better than many other people in the world. Think of it this way - at least you DON'T have a child to support as well in your current situation. I think you need to put it in perspective. Imagine all those poor families you are complaining about, who clearly don't have as much income as you and your boyfriend, trying to ALSO make ends meet with extra mouths to feed. Believe me, it is a small minority of people who abuse the system. Many, many people with children who receive assistance need it more desperately than you do, also through no fault of their own.

You also need to consider that there is TONS of research out there to demonstrate that children benefit from a parent being at home with them in the formative years. Therefore, I can totally understand why the government would be supporting families during these early months and years. In fact, where I live, a mother will receive 18 weeks PAID maternity leave from the government. I bet that really pisses you off, but in fact, it is of benefit to society as a whole to support these families. If you stop supporting families, you end up with children spirally through a poverty cycle that will continue indefinitely - it leads to huge costs (not just dollars) in the long term. You need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

Jodi - posted on 08/09/2013

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"your just a big ol snobby, bitter person that posts on every ones page that discusses these kinds of things."

And again, this isn't "your" page. It is a conversation on a public forum where I, and many others, are active members. I am not big. I am not old (or ol). I am not snobby. I am not bitter. I just disagree with people slagging off about those on government assistance being a majority (and all just because you don't qualify). In fact, if you are good at your research, you would find that only about 1/4 of those receiving assistance could be considered "welfare dependent". That isn't a majority.

If you break that down even further, unfortunately, most of these are single mothers with children. Have you ever considered HOW difficult it can be to get a job that pays enough to not only support your family (including children) but ALSO pays enough for someone to care for those children while you are working? You think your dilemma is that you could barely afford to get by on two incomes, let alone one......and you don't have children!!

Now imagine how your budget would have been if you had been working your job at the income you were at (and only your job, not your boyfriends), you were only receiving $100 a week in child support (or even none - many pay nothing) and you had two children to clothe, feed and provide for. Could you have done it? By the content in your posts, I highly doubt it. These people need the assistance. Children are incredibly expensive to raise, and if they are raised in poverty, it affects their chances for the rest of their LIFE. Often the children of poverty also become reliant on assistance. This is what the government is trying to avoid. Give these children opportunities through assistance, and they may be able to get them and keep them out of the cycle.

I'm not being a snob when I say that. But I did spend years studying sociology, so it absolutely makes sense to me. If it makes no sense to you why families get assistance but people without children don't, then maybe research that a bit more. Look into the social, demographic and cultural issues surrounding welfare, and then you may get more of a perspective as to the way things are. I know that when YOU are the one suffering it is hard for you to try to have any understanding of it, but having a much broader knowledge of the purpose of welfare and its social impact can give you a much different perspective AND a lot more empathy and less anger about it. Believe me, I used to think like you once.

No system is perfect. But you are the one who came here all guns blazing and then decided you didn't like the response.

A - posted on 08/09/2013

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I agree with both sides of this. Yes it sucks when people who have assistance and don't need it and they abuse it, especially when there are those who do need it and can't get it- my husband and I are in the same position, but at the same time we are not complaining about it- we are working several jobs- we take public transportation because we can't afford a car. Now my job gives me a bus pass for 5 bucks a month- my husband does not get that deal so he walks to and from work everyday just to save money. I see and feel your pain. But I can understand what these ladies are saying- you made the choice to quit your job, if you are all for walking to work you could have walked, or why couldn't your boyfriend take you to work with his car? yes you said it is a 30 min drive so you leave 30 minutes earlier and you wait until your shift starts or vice versa.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/07/2013

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Well, you said it all when you said "We could not get assistance because he makes too much"

That means, with good budgeting, your boyfriend makes enough to support himself and you WITHOUT assistance. If you think you NEED assistance, then I'd suggest tightening your budget before you start bitching about those on disability, or other assistance.

I raised my family on $19K annually. A family of 4. my hubby is disabled, but his medical disability wasn't approved until I actually started making a living wage...which STILL wasn't quite enough, with two kids and horrible med bills...and we STILL DIDN'T QUALIFY. So, honey...sounds like you may need to learn to live within your means.

I'm just now finishing your second post...and boy do I see A LOT of "high horse judgement" from you. You are SO much better than your friend with kids, aren't you? You're just a damn SAINT!!! LMAO. You're pissing about a $200 hospital bill? If your insurance was full coverage, and your deductible is paid, then you should be just fine, sunshine...unless, of course, the accident was determined to be your fault...Then insurance doesn't have to pay YOU, but they damned well have to pay who you hit...

But again, you're pissing and moaning about $200 in med bills? Oh my god, my hubby's bills IN A SINGLE YEAR total over $10K. And my eldest son? Around $20K annually for his med bills...wanna hear the cool thing about med bills (and others, even?) YOU CAN ASK FOR PAYMENT ARRANGEMENTS.

Quit making excuses. Work towards a solution. The first being to get out there and get another job. The second being to quit bitching about something that you probably only see 1/4 of the story on. Quit making assumptions about what/how others are doing, and concentrate on yourself and improving your lot in life.

Jodi - posted on 08/07/2013

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"In some foreign countries, they will kill any baby if the family has more then two, that's how they deal with their poverty spiraling, and no I don't think all that is necessary but I do think something needs to be done."

Well, then, isn't your government doing a much better job? Or are you suggesting this to be a better alternative?

And as I said, you are using ONE person as an example. I was making the point that it is only a small minority who take total advantage of a welfare system. The majority do not.

"Which one are you?"

Well, that was uncalled for. I was just giving my opinion. For your information I have never been a day out of work/without self earned income in my life. Not that THAT is any of your business. Nor is it relevant.

Maybe if you put as much effort into finding another job that will work for you and your boyfriend as you have into your hours of researching statistics so you can whine about people who receive welfare, you might be a step closer to resolving your situation. In all honesty, it probably would have been cheaper to pick up a cheap run-around car than quit your job if you look at it in hindsight. You did have SOME choice in the decision to quit.

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Jodi - posted on 08/12/2013

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Chelsea, maybe you should put your energy into a workplace system that operates in such a way towards its employees rather than the government system that won't pay you anything because your boyfriend earns too much. To be honest, I am more appalled at the way your workplaces treat you.

Chelsea - posted on 08/12/2013

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Also Jodi, in Indiana they can fire you for any reason, they don't even have to have one, I've heard It all my life. And to Whitney, we can barely afford our bills, on top of that its been at least a few months and we still haven't heard anything from the insurance, so we cant afford to just move. And foodbanks.. In one of my older posts I talked about the trustees office where they help with bills, they wont do it for us.

Shonda - posted on 08/11/2013

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Did you go to the hospital or at least to a doctor after your wreck? Have you checked into any other kind of assistance in your area? Besides food banks, there are organizations, state funded programs and churches that offer many different kinds of help for those who need it.

Many years ago when we first started out, a friend of mine gave me a book she had gotten somewhere was filled with places for people to get help with medical attention and bills, groceries, utility bills, etc. I have heard people say they find things like that at their local unemployment office.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now, I will pray for you.

[deleted account]

I do agree that the system is bias. However, since you do not have any children or dependents of your own is why you do not get assistance. The people who do not tell the whole truth about their financials are committing fraud. People like that make it a lot harder for people who need assistance. I receive food stamps and medicaid for my child since I am not legally married and I am the only one working in my household. But I do believe that stereotyping the people who get assistance is wrong. My boyfriend and baby's dad broke his leg and filed for short term disability and they denied him because he could still use his arms. Figuring out the system would be pointless changes all the time. Stick it out!

Chelsea - posted on 08/11/2013

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Thank you Groovy Girl and Angel though, Times are really tough, and I agree with you Groovy Girl about how frustrating it is because it seems like all these people get so much when others are in the same position, but they know how to I guess play the system. I had a friend whose mother had 3 children, she didn't work, neither did her husband, they got housing, foodstamps, WIC, and Medicaid. Then when all of her daughters grew up and got out of the house they are all on WIC, foodstamps, Medicaid and housing with children. My family never had any assistance and neither can I receive any. But all these generations of people seem to know how to play the system. And I live in Indiana.

Chelsea - posted on 08/11/2013

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Jodi, No I didn't mention my injuries in my old post but my very first post I did say I was In a wreck and totaled my car, I am not sure how anyone can total their car and not be hurt. And almost every post after that I mentioned being in pain, or the hospital bills and whatnot. Maybe I was wrong to say the majority of people abuse the system. Just hundreds of people I know do, a lot of friends, relatives, co workers and so on. My bfs family comes over here. His sister home schools her three younger children, she also works and so does her husband, they have a farm, and are really really religious but when it comes to government assistance we cant get her to stop stressing she will talk about how its not fair for hours. I may have been wrong by saving the major amount of people who get it abuse it but I personally have never met anyone that doesn't, neither has my boyfriend, his sister, or a lot of my friends. My boyfriends sister is 46, my boyfriend is 40 so its not just all the young people that disagree with how things are. I know its been said that I have immature views on life that's how everyone knows I am so young. The people I hang out with.. Well I don't really get along with people my age, we hang out with my bfs family, or my friends, my best friend Amanda is 46, after that I have nancy, and Korina. Nancy is 43 and my only friend that I actually see and hang out with that is considered young is 21. So I don't just base my disagreements and the people that agree with me as the young people not willing to do anything

Michelle - posted on 08/11/2013

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While reading all the posts about traveling to work I had the thought of maybe moving closer to town.

Chelsea - posted on 08/11/2013

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Angel,
I called my Job the day after the wreck since I had just got into the wreck after work. I told them My situation and that I totaled my car, they told me that the only way I word be able to keep my job was if I had an absolute way to work by Monday, the wreck happened on a Monday, I called them on Tuesday and that would have only given me about five to six days to heal, get a car, or find another source of transportation. Which I tried to do, I rested, called a few friends, discussed it with my boyfriend, even called a few of our relatives. I was working first shift and my boyfriend was working 2nd. Most of our relatives live in a different town then ours, I was pretty much three different people I worked with transportation to work, so I knew they didn't have cars, I also had to call them and tell them I couldn't bring them to work anymore. I tried until Friday, and that's when I knew I couldn't find another way to get to work, and had to call my job and quit. I am pretty much sucking it up, I was just venting I guess, the first post I ever wrote on here was just to vent, and then after all the comments I started getting pretty upset.

Jodi - posted on 08/11/2013

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But it still isn't a majority. You can look up the statistics. Only 1/4 of all welfare recipients are actually welfare dependent (i.e. long term recipients) and many of those as a result of true necessity. It is a small minority who wrought the system. It is the sweeping statements about the MAJORITY doing it that annoys me, because it simply isn't true.

And I am just going to add that Chelsea didn't mention her accident injuries in her OP. All I have to say is that I am glad I live in Australia. They would never force you to quit your job over that. I was injured in a car accident once and ended up a month off work, then a further month doing only part-time light duties. My insurance paid for it, and my workplace accommodated it (the law wouldn't have allowed them to fire me over it). And this was back in the early 90s. If a workplace in the US is allowed to do this to you, then maybe you should be looking at the workplace laws, and not so much the welfare issues.

Groovy Girl - posted on 08/11/2013

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I don't imagine that things are THAT much different up here in Canada, as where most of you are from, but I have encountered WAY too many people over the years who are taking advantage of government assistance programs in some shape or form, for me to believe the statistics.
I worked with a girl who had just had her daughter around the same time I had my Oldest Son. I am married, she was not, but her boyfriend and father of her baby was living with her. Because she was not married and did not inform the government that her boyfriend lived with her, she was entitled to big discounts on daycare, free gym membership, funding to go back to school(she is now a social worker) and all the while had two incomes(hers and the boyfriends) and still collected mothers allowance.
Its an awful mess up with the system when my husband and I realized we would have been better off financially had we not got married!!
The saddest part for me is how many stories of people ripping off the government I have come across since! It truly is staggering. And that's kids and no kids.
So, I totally agree Chelsea, it's sooooo frustrating.

A - posted on 08/11/2013

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Chelsea I understand why you wouldn't want to ride or walk right away- given the accident. I am wondering though (and if I am wrong I am sorry) would your job have given you time off to recover without you having to quit? I am just wondering not judging. I think why people are bothered is the claim that most people abuse assistance, while you acknowledge that there are those who need it. The point is that no most do not- in fact a very small percent do and if everyone in the country knows a handful of people who do abuse the system- just imagine how many more people who are on it that need it.

But I am in your position, we are poor and can not afford stuff- we live with in our means, but we can't get assistance either- and we have a small child. It does suck but sometimes we have to just suck it up. (I am speaking of e not telling you what to do)

Chelsea - posted on 08/11/2013

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Jodi, and I do live about 10 miles out of town, Out of NORTH VERNON, I worked in Seymour, I have a north Vernon address yes, but I live in the country away from all the business is, the closest thing to me is a chicken farm. So that wasn't a difference at all it was accurate, and yes maybe the miles didn't add up everyone saying how lazy I was, or everyone walks or rides bikes to work, it was really pissing me off, I am not lazy yes I may have exaggerated a few miles, or gotten a few miles off, but according to google maps, its still almost 21 miles away from a few streets before my house, I was tired of everyone always saying I could have done something different. I was Just in a wreck that totaled my car, and left me pretty banged up, and then everyone on here telling me I could have rode my bike or walked because other people did it. I was in so much pain, I was pissed because I had no help, my boyfriend had to call off work to bring me home, so he missed hours, and then all of yall saying I could have done it differently. Even If I wanted to ride my bike 20.8 Miles (according to google maps) I was just in a car wreck, my brakes failed I was in pain, I didn't want to get on my bike and ride it all the way to work. I really don't think anyone would want to. Everything else on here is one hundred percent accurate the only thing I didn't have right was the amount of miles. So I looked it up.

Chelsea - posted on 08/11/2013

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OH MY GOD JODI, that is off google maps, NOT ME, so my accurate skills of how many miles it was to my job I was off, oh lord forgive me, why don't you read through all my other posts see if you don't see anything that doesn't match up that actually matters.I wasn't exactly sure how many miles it was to my work from my house, yet that's such a big deal. I looked it up on google so I would know the exact miles just for you. The only inconsistency to my posts were the amount of miles to my job. Look it up on google maps Jodi North county road 175 E North Vernon IN to valeo Sylvania Seymour Indiana. Either way One difference. The amount of miles to my job, its still 20.8 Miles way too many miles to walk or ride my bike. I am so sorry that I didn't keep track of the exact amount of miles from my house to my job. The road I gave you is a few streets before my house so I didn't have my exact address on here. Which adds another few Miles. Construction has been going on for months in between the two towns. Added stop lights, extra stopping. The only thing that you found different in all my posts was the amount of miles. Still 20.8 is still a hell of a long walk, or ride, and that's not including all the other things I said.

Jodi - posted on 08/11/2013

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Chelsea, you totally missed my point. You only have to read through what you wrote to see that it was different, so it is therefore understandable that people didn't have a consistent view of what you were trying to convey.

And what you just wrote said 20.8 miles. So I'm confused. Is it 20.8 miles? 35 miles? 45 miles? Can't you see why there is confusion?

Chelsea - posted on 08/11/2013

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Jodi,
In all technicality no the story really didn't change all that much. I do live in the country and ok you know what how about this. I live outside of north Vernon, Ill just google maps it. So it isn't just a story. just for you Jodi.
The road leading from my house this is in a car not my exact address this is 4 streets before my house I don't want to put my exact address on here. And that's not including all the construction right now with the flaggers and
the fact that they only let one direction go at a time, which takes an extra 5 to 10 min because they added two stop lights making us stop and stop and stop and go.

Suggested routes


20.8 mi, 35 mins
US-50 W
Driving directions to Valeo Sylvania Llc
Suggested routes
Driving directions to Valeo Sylvania Llc
N County Road 175 E

North Vernon, IN 47265
1. Head west toward US-50 E
0.2 mi
2. Continue straight onto US-50 W
2.3 mi
3. Turn left onto US-50 W/​E Walnut St
Continue to follow US-50 W
15.5 mi
4. Turn left onto S Walnut St
1.3 mi
5. Turn right onto B Ave E
0.3 mi

6. Turn left onto 6th Ave/​A Ave E
Continue to follow A Ave E

Destination will be on the right
1.2 mi
Valeo Sylvania Llc
1231 A Ave
Seymour, IN 47274

Jodi - posted on 08/10/2013

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I am confused as to how far away your job actually is because you have stated several different things. I think you need to be consistent in your posts, because it really is very confusing. In one post you say it is 30 minutes away. In another you say it is 20 miles. In another you say it is 35 miles. Now it is 45 miles? I am not trying to have a go at you, but it is incredibly confusing when every time the story is told the fish gets bigger.....after a while you start to doubt the story altogether.

"our jobs were at the complete other side of a town that is a 30 min drive for us."

"I live in the country, at least 10 miles away from town"

"And do you want to ride a bike 20 miles to your job? Because I drove 35 minutes to the one I had"

"If I live a total of 21 miles out of town in the country, and another 35 min drive to my job, that's another twenty something miles"

" I live in the country 15 miles out of town, and another 20 miles from that to my job, 35 miles away."

" I lived a total of 45 MILES FROM MY JOB"

You can call me out on picking apart your paragraphs, but the story keeps changing. Now that I have put all of this together for you, can you see why some posters might have issue with it?

Chelsea - posted on 08/10/2013

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Ok and our country is also in an incredibly high Debt. Because of the Economy the job market is extremely slim, barely any jobs, the minimum wage is trying to go down, Insurance is going up, gas is going up, cigarettes are going up, taxes have incredibly increased, the price that these temp agencies give people an hour, in three towns from here the price an hour people get has decreased 1.50 which may not seem like a lot but it adds up, and yet our government can afford, to give all these families hundreds of dollars to take care of their children, and thousands of dollars to help take care of all these people who have messed up their own lives by doing drugs and being alcoholics. I don't think any of this is fair, and yet people want to say I am on a high Horse and defend the government and bring all this other stuff defending themselves.

Chelsea - posted on 08/10/2013

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Ok, I am sick of people talking shit about me, or saying everything is my fault. Or my choice, and I shouldn't be lazy, I should walk to work, or a temp agency, or whatever. If you all whoever is talking all this shit would read all my posts before you judge, or say things. If you all would have read my other posts you would realize that I WAS WORKING FOR A TEMP AGENCY, and that I lived a total of 45 MILES FROM MY JOB. So yes I quit and if you guys are sitting here saying that I should have walked 45 MILES or rode my bike 45 MILES then you are just being ridiculous, saying its my fault because I quit because I didn't want to walk the 45 miles? Oh my lord, people will just say just about anything to make the assistance thing this great thing. Or saying that I think I am privileged or on my " HIGH HORSE" again if you all would read my other posts before talking all this shit you would realize that I really don't have ANYTHING and I have been homeless, I have had NOTHING not even a dime to my name, I never had a car until I was 21. I don't leave out of my means, I don't spend money on things I cant afford. Another thing all those people saying all of this is due to the Choices I made? Because I knew my boyfriend had children, and I chose to get with him knowing he had to pay support, and that it was his choice to leave his children, and again IF YOU WOULD READ MY OTHER POSTS you would know his ex cheated and left him got pregnant with another mans child and took his three children and left states. I am serious you all or coming up with all these things talking out of your ASSES about why I shouldn't get money, then picking apart everything I say, grabbing bits and pieces from my paragraphs so I sound like a horrible person.

Jodi - posted on 08/10/2013

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I think, to be fair, I should let Chelsea know that I come from a country where families are actually paid a BONUS to have children. They are encouraging people to continue to have children. I believe it has recently decreased, but at one point, it was a bonus of $5000 when you had a baby. Did some people take advantage of that and only have a kid for the money? Sure they did. A minority. We all know $5000 doesn't go too far with raising a child. Our government also pays mothers to stay at home with their children. It isn't a lot, but one income families receive payments to assist with raising their children.

Our economy is one of the only economies in the world who avoided the global recession. We didn't go into recession. I think that speaks volumes. I know this diverges from your original OP where you think it is unfair that you can't get assistance when people with children can, but I am just trying to clarify my perspective, and the fact that this is greater than your individual circumstances and more about decisions that impact on an entire society. Unfortunately, you get stuck in the middle of that. But the government's role is to make large decisions based on the needs of the majority in order to make the economy work.

Chelsea - posted on 08/10/2013

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Groovy Girl 2,
Thank you for sticking up for me. That is exactly what I was doing Venting, yet I get hassled and basically given hell. I just don't agree with how some people can just keep having children and get paid for it. I never said that people with not a lot of money or "poor" which the women on here say I said, shouldn't have children, I just said I did not think it was right that if they Knew they couldn't afford one, I mean one is ok, but knowing they needed government help just to take care of that one, why keep having more and more.

Jodi - posted on 08/10/2013

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I don't think anyone was suggesting that Chelsea was trying to abuse the system. Rather, her comments about birth control and questions about why families deserve more assistance than someone with out children, and the WAY in which she expressed this WAS rather selfish and rude. Statistically, it isn't a majority who abuse the system. It is ridiculous to suggest that it is. Chelsea is entitled to vent, but when you do it on a public forum, people will respond to inaccurate comments like that.

Groovy Girl - posted on 08/10/2013

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Chelsea,

I agree with you 100 percent, that there are many, many people who abuse government assistance programs, with or without children. It is soooooo frustrating.
Why is everyone coming down on Chelsea so hard? It doesn't sound like she is abusing any system, she is just venting, I think..

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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Um Shawn... please tell me how I ever said anything about your husband? Or how he "purposely hurt himself at work" I never said that and yet you are putting words in my mouth to make me seem like a horrible person. I can bitch about this if I want, and no I am not getting pissed because yall disagree with me, I am pissed because you attacking the way I believe. And how hard your defending It I have said many times in many of my posts that I DO BELIEVE THAT SOME PEOPLE NEED THE ASSISTANCE. yet all of you guys keep bringing up all the other things I am saying, and ignoring that I agree that some people need it but I BELIEVE other people abuse it.

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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Angel my boyfriend couldn't take me to work because our shifts didn't coincide. He worked second and I worked first he got off work right before I had to be at work, and when I got off work he was starting his shift already, and like I said before I couldn't walk, there is no transportation public I mean in my town, I live in the country 15 miles out of town, and another 20 miles from that to my job, 35 miles away. But thank you for not flipping out on me.

Dee - posted on 08/09/2013

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You sound really frustrated and I know you must feel very anxious with your current situation. Sometimes things don't work the way we would like and we can become reactive. In the long run, that will not change your current situation. In general these programs have guidelines in place to support kids, pregnant women, low-income families, the disabled or people with mental illness. Base on your post, you don't seem to meet the guideline requirements. Contact your credits and make them aware of your current status, arrange a payement plan. If not, these few days/months could create a lifetime of financial challenges in the future. You can try to apply for unemployment; but, since you willingly quit your job you may not qualify. It doesn't hurt to try. Also, if granted it is only a percentage of what you usually make and for a limited amount of time. Try getting your self out there and seek another employment opportunity. Even if its minimum wage-its still something. There are temp agencies or employment assistance programs that could help with securing a job. You could try to work out a plan to share your boyfriend 'scar with the use of other transportation options (bus, train, carpool etc.). Try to cut your other expenses, eating out, coffee runs, cable until you are on a better financial track. The good news- you're still young and phycially able to get another job. Best of luck to you!

Michelle - posted on 08/09/2013

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Ok ladies. Chelsea, this is a public international forum. There are Mothers from all over the world so there will always be differing opinions. If you post in a public forum then you need to expect some people who don't agree. If you post emotionally like you did you will get others replying just as emotionally to the opposite. THAT'S LIFE!

I do agree with the others that sitting here complaining about a minority and that your BF earns too much to get government assistance doesn't help at all. You would be better off channeling all that energy into saving getting some money coming in and getting a car so you can get a better job.

Jodi - posted on 08/09/2013

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Chelsea, believe it or not, I believe that government assistance needs checks and balances, and income levels are one of those. You go over that. However, it is only a MINORITY of people who slip through the cracks and receive welfare when they don't need it. NOT a majority. And it doesn't matter what checks and balances they put in place, there will always be a small number of people who manage to wrought the system. Always. Do I agree with that? No. But I do agree that limits have to be put in place.

And what you have seen is me debating my opinion, just as you have debated yours. I simply don't agree with you, and I think you need to stop focusing on the negative if you want to get out of your situation. I'm not negative at all. I would have found a way, ANY way, to keep my job. That's why I haven't been a day out of work in 25 years. However, I am glad to know that IF I WAS out of work, for whatever reason, at least my children wouldn't starve or be living on the streets because I "could" get some benefits. A couple is not the same as a family with children. Families do need assistance more when times get tough. Period. Imagine if you were in your situation now and you had children. Don't you think you'd need it even more? So why are you denying that families should get government assistance? Oh, that's right, because you know a few people personally who are amongst the minority who wrought the system......or maybe just CAN live within their means on the assistance.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/09/2013

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Wow...Just...Wow...

Chelsea, quit bitching. Work to change your situation. The rest of us, who actually HAVE CHILDREN know what we're saying, and how we're saying it.

Jodi, as usual, I agree completely.

Chelsea, you don't like what you're hearing, no one invited you to a site for mothers to bitch about other mothers and how they're "working the system". Fact is, you and your BF do not meet the minimum guidelines to receive assistance. I'VE BEEN THERE. As I said, very, very clearly, even when my family income was BELOW POVERTY LEVEL we still made too much to qualify for assistance. And the reason that we do NOW is only because my husband was disabled on the job and doctors determined that he was unable to work, BECAUSE OF A CRUSHED NERVE. So, I guess if you think that my husband purposely injured himself just so that we could qualify for assistance, honey that's rich. (Especially considering the fact that, without his job, we're actually making $50K LESS A YEAR...Yep, he injured himself on purpose, that's for sure...LMAO)

GROW UP. Life sucks. Get used to it. Life throws you curves. You deal with it. You learn how to quit bitching, quit blaming, and move forward.

And, yes, you're bitterly negative, and as long as you are, you're not going to get anywhere.

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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uh Jodi, i'm the one with the negative outlook? you are the one basically talking shit to all the people who disagree with the system, all this energy you spend trying to prove all these women wrong, is kind of pathetic.

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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Oh wait My bad Jodi, I found a few with you fighting with other people, about how they disagree with it, I don't feel so pissed off anymore about you, because I just read five different posts from you, from last year, where you are completely being rude, snobby, judgemental, and basically talking to those women the same way you are talking to me, a few of them much worse, so it seems like you are the one with the piss poor attitude on things... I was pretty urked not gonna lie. Like why is this lady completely destroying everything I write? Picking a few things out of my paragraphs and turning them into something so much bigger.. Then I look at other conversations about welfare, cash assistance and so on a so forth and your name pops up on many of them taking shit, and being incredibly rude to the people that disagree with you. So I am not so angry anymore because apparently your just a big ol snobby, bitter person that posts on every ones page that discusses these kinds of things. Thank you for helping me see the light.

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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Also to all that is bashing what I write I know yall get that little thing on the side of the computer that says related conversations, Apparently their are hundreds of people who agree with what I believe, and how I few the GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE. I have just read 5 different forums and many different posts on them, doesn't seem like yall care about what they are saying Because none of yalls names are on it.

Jodi - posted on 08/09/2013

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Honey, you posted here, so you have to suck it up. So please, allow me to point out the following:

"yes I chose my boyfriend. When you love some one you don't just say " oh your ex left you because she was a cheating whore and you pay support? Damn I'm done with this relationship."

No, I never said that. But it was still a CHOICE. You can't deny that the child support debt your boyfriend has is as a result of CHOICES made by both of you. I never said you shouldn't have made the choice, simply that it was still the result of choice.

" You chose to have children and be with the man your with."

That's right. But I'm not the one whining about any of my circumstances, so that's irrelevant.

"And your about forty? yet your talking to me like your much younger then I am, saying I chose everything, and picking apart everything that I post on here."

Not sure how I'm talking to you like I am younger than you are. You are quite clearly the younger one by you immature and negative outlook. Believe me, life experience has taught me much, and I have learned that whining about your circumstances gets you absolutely nowhere. Get off your butt and do something about it - now there is something that works.

"if you don't like what I post don't comment and get off my site, and don't read what I post."

That's actually not the way it works in a public forum. It's kind of not "your" site.

And the rest of your post was more whining.

And again, I am not on assistance. How many times do I have to say that to you? You do presume too much.......I simply do not see that a person who has no children can possibly need as much assistance as one who does.

And I'm done. You sit there in your little shell and decide that your life is so much worse than that of others and you deserve benefits because people with children can get them, but ultimately, only you can help yourself in the long term. You are so close minded that you can't even see that you ARE a part of that poverty cycle I talked about.

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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Michelle, I appreciate you not attacking me for expressing how I feel or how I believe. And I do understand how you can only see the certain bits of my life that I write on here and you only have one side of it. I cant make you see what all that has happened to me. Or what I have been through. Which is not fair for the person on the outside looking in. And no I do not have children of my own. I have tried for many years to have children, I am able to have children and my boyfriend has three, I have tried just about everything I possibly could to experience what it is like to have a child of my own. I have god children that I watch for weeks at a time, and I pretty much raised my little brother until I moved out of my house. And yes I only have my boyfriends children to have in my life. I have given up on trying to have my own child especially with what we are going through now, I believe it would be selfish of me, to have a child knowing we can not afford one, and cant receive any help if I did have a child. Our house isn't finished, we don't have any spare money, and I do not have a job. I believe that it would be selfish of me, to expect my boyfriend to pay child support on his other children, help me with ours, pay all of the bills he has, and then try to work and pay for a sitter. He has done so much for me that has made me a better person and to bring a child into this world knowing that we will struggle every day of our lives, and not be able to give our child everything he needs and deserves, I just don't think it would be right for me. And yes I know this is a mothers website and I do not have children, I just joined a few days ago, but there are a few other forums on here for women trying to conceive, trying to prepare for a child, adopting and many more.

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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yes I chose my boyfriend. When you love some one you don't just say " oh your ex left you because she was a cheating whore and you pay support? Damn I'm done with this relationship." I have ridden my bike to work many times. I have walked for hours to work. I am not making excuses. You chose to have children and be with the man your with. And your about forty? yet your talking to me like your much younger then I am, saying I chose everything, and picking apart everything that I post on here. Its kind of like facebook, if you don't like what I post don't comment and get off my site, and don't read what I post. You keep telling me to stop making excuses, and everything is in result to the choices I made, My insurance is what was offered to me by my job, that I paid for weekly out of my check. I didn't just go out there and look through and choose insurance, I go with what is provided to me, and I paid for it. Yes I knew he had children, but no I am sorry I am not just going to leave a man because he takes care of his kids and puts them first. He has done this with out any assistance with no help from the government three children that he has spent almost all his money on, and thousands on lawyers trying to get his children. Had proof that their mother was taking his daughters to photo shoots where they had to wear thongs and pose in barely nothing so she could get extra money, she was receiving assistance and 160 per child weekly that my boyfriend was paying. She also got disability for her drug problem. Yet my bf doesn't get any help from any one, damn sure not the government. His daughters came to visit us, crawled up in a bawl crying about how their mother makes them pose nude for some dude so she can get money. We fought in court for his children for years. Yet they said the children are better with their mom, we finally got his son. But not his little girls. We have done everything we could. And you keep saying everything is my choice, my fault. Because I love my boyfriend and his children. I have fought for years making it to work, walking, riding buses, riding my bike. calculate this, If I live a total of 21 miles out of town in the country, and another 35 min drive to my job, that's another twenty something miles. almost an hour drive total. On a bike... No I wont do it so I guess yes that is my choice, I wont ride a bike 45 miles. Ive rode a bike at max 3 hours to work, I did that for 6 months. And this would be on the high way and through construction, that they stop one lane to let the others go through. Maybe I guess you are better then me Jodi, because you pay all your debts, and you drive to work every day, and you see all those people riding to work, who I guess are better then me too, but you cant sit there and tell me, you have never just sat there and cried, and wondered why all this was happening, or how you are going to make it through it all. I have sucked it up and drove on my whole life. And done it on my own until I found the man I am with. And I choose this one time after all these years, to just blow up and write down my frustration and because you got offended because you are one of the ones that receive assistance you want to attack and pick apart everything that I write. This post that I started was how I felt about all of this, and how I felt about certain people in general. I never said all the people on assistance, did what I wrote about. I wrote about a few instances which I experienced and you get all offended because you are on assistance. There are millions of sites bashing and talking about how they live under a tree and go to the library just to fill out applications and how they cant receive benefits because they have no children. Its not just me that feels this way, yet it does seem that everyone that's on assistance and gets benefits always seem to attack the person expressing how they feel on the matter.

Michelle - posted on 08/09/2013

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Chelsea: No we don't know you or your whole story so don't jump on what others say with just what you have written. I know you can't write your whole life story as well but the bits you did write gave us a very 1 sided view of things.
Now this IS a Mother's website and you have admitted that you don't have children of your own. I know you have Step Children but until you have your own you have no idea the lengths some women will go to to provide for their children.
I have been on both sides but have always worked. i have been a working single Mum and a working married Mum. I was grateful for the assistance I received while I was single as it helped to make ends meet.
Before I had children I never received a cent in assistance though. I left school at 15 and moved out of home at 18. I have supported myself since.

Jodi - posted on 08/09/2013

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"no the child support was not any result due to my bf."

You chose your boyfriend, who you knew had children. Choice made by BOTH of you.

"And do you want to ride a bike 20 miles to your job?"

If it meant the only way I could keep my job, I would do it. Lots of people do - I work with a few people who ride to work each day (almost that far) by choice!. Would I want to ride it? Not really, but this isn't about "want". It is about "need".

Maybe the choice to go to hospital wasn't yours, but your choice of medical coverage?

And as I said, Chelsea, I have never been a day out of work in the 25 years since I graduated high school, so please, this has nothing to do with receiving assistance. I spent years not receiving child support and not receiving assistance because I earned too much, and you don't hear me complaining about that.

Honestly, just stop making excuses. Shit happens. Deal with it. You are taking it personally that your were denied assistance, but in actual fact, there is a set of guidelines saying that your boyfriend, in theory, earns enough to support you both. If you both have loans you have accumulated, child support to pay, and other things resulting from your past choices, the government is not obligated to take that into account. Declare bankruptcy and then move on if it is as bad as you claim. Otherwise, get over it like everyone else does.

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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and Jodi, no the child support was not any result due to my bf. why don't you try again. And do you want to ride a bike 20 miles to your job? Because I drove 35 minutes to the one I had, so not result in my choice and my hospital bills, My throat closed up I couldn't breath at 3 in the morning, was rushed to the ER had an MRI done, they still couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong, was there for 5 hours, ended up giving me a saline solution, an antibiotic and vicodin, they told me my insurance covered it a few days later I got a bill, the next time I had double ear infections in both ears. And needed to go to the hospital. How the hell our these my choices the only one that was actually my fault and my choice was the roommates thing. why don't you read my other posts before you try and say I act as if I am always so negative. and the thing is all yall that are talking shit RECIEVE assistance so of course you can talk shit I bet that if you were denied or anyone else you wouldn't be so quick to deny what I am saying

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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oh my lord shawn you tell me not to judge as for MY BF and his children, he has 3, and he didn't leave his relationship, he was in the army and his wife was sleeping around on him, he got out of the army to try to work it out with her, got a different job to spend more time with her and the kids and he gets home from work and she tells him she is pregnant by another man, and is leaving him, you don't know my whole story at all. You act like I don't work at everything or anything I do, again you don't know me. I have worked all my life. Busted my ass at everything I did. I have applied for jobs, I have looked for work, and yes the roommate situation was my fault but Don't you ever say everything in my past, and why I am struggling was my fault. Because you don't know me, I was married before, I worked at factories, restaurants, fast food, anything I could find, any kind of job I could find I did it, I worked, even if it required walking. My ex left me for a druggy, Stole all my rent money from me, and used my debit card and withdrew all my MONEY I had in the bank, took half of my shit, stole my bike half my clothes for his new girl, along with trashing my apartment, I had no clue anything like that would happen he wakes up with me at 4 am when I was getting ready for work, I was working 12 hour days at a factory walking to and from and was saving up to get a house. He was working across town, he gets up with me hugs me says his I love you and see you later I get off work, walk home, and find what I just told you, not even a goodbye note, but he had been planning this for a while. That's how I ended up homeless. How was that my fault? And how I ended up in the homeless shelter, I pretty much just described. they needed my room for a women and her 4 children, so I was kicked out, until another vacancy was available, We just moved to that state, I didn't really have many friends, not any that knew me enough to let me live with them. I had no family in the area so I had to live under a bridge, but I didn't give up, I washed up in a gas station bathroom and still walked to work every day. Until some lady from the church I was going to on Sundays offered to drive me home, found out I lived under a bridge and let me stay on her couch until I saved enough to move states and live with my mother. I got another job the week I moved there and busted my ass to get where I was. I worked at this job for 2 years, and met a couple with a child through some friends, they needed a roommate and I needed a place that was closer to my job, because where my mom worked was no where near where I did. I met my bf at the job I was working at and started dating him, and when I lost the apartment with my roommates, I moved in with him. Then we both lost our jobs you remember Hostess? Dolly Madison? Yea I was apart of that mess, and when they closed the doors and stopped making twinkies, we lost our jobs. And yes they re opened but the closest one in 2 hours away from here. He got another job, taught me how to drive, I got my permit and then my license and was working at Honda that was no easy job, then I transferred to another company making headlights and a few months later I got layed off from there and I got another job 2 weeks later and had been working there for almost a year when I got in my wreck. I don't think I am privileged, I don't have much more then most yet a lot more then others. I have never received help from the government, and I have never been lazy or conceited. Yet yall can have help and I cant. But of course you think its fair

Chelsea - posted on 08/09/2013

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FireBird, No news to me, I didn't have a car or a license until I was 21, had a job since I was 16, No help from any one, lived in a hotel, and walked my happy ass 9 miles to and from work, working at a restaurant. Know what else I was still living in a hotel spending 274.40 a week and walking to another job that was just as far, as a waitress at steak and shake. WALKED, every day just to be able to pay my bill. I didn't have a car until I got with the man I am with now. Moved out at 17 and was homeless literally in a shelter and under a bridge. AND WALKED to every job I ever had until now, like I said, I live in the country 15 miles out of town, and another 6 miles after getting to town to the nearest store or restaurant. And know what else I have applied at every store and restaurant in this country ass town, and was totally planning to WALK MY HAPPY ASS to any interview I could get. Try again.

Mary - posted on 08/08/2013

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If you had full coverage and totalled your car, your insurance company will give you th money. They won't give it right away, but they will.
Medical bills are different from other types of debts because you dind't get a medical bill voluntarily, it's not like shopping, anyway, the hospital will work an arregement for you so you can pay it little by little.
It's hard to get a job in this economy, but once you get the money and can replace your car you will manage.
I won't comment on your thoughts as to having a child to get welfare or complaining about who gets it and who don't becaus I can't be objective in that matter.
Like I said, you will be able to eventually replace your car and get another job. Contatc the hospital to work a payment plan once you get on track. But those bills are not luxury or optional so it won't hurt your credit the same way a credit card bill if it even hurts it.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2013

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As long as you are bitter and negative, nothing is going to go your way.

And that's about all I can say on the subject. Your stories of how you got there, to me, indicate glaring examples of some poor choices on your part, and on the part of your BF, which, as Jodi pointed out, were all personal choices made. No one forced you to live with sponges, thus increasing your debt, no one forced your boyfriend to father 4 children with someone and then leave the relationship, resulting in child support.

Student loans are a way of life. I'm still paying on mine...that's how it works. I pay, as I said, CONSTANTLY on medical bills. There is never NOT a time that I don't have a med bill, due to my husband's crushed nerve. Yeah, I could definitely bitch about it, because it occurred on the job, and WC won't pay because they don't "recognize" nerve damage, but what would bitching get me? Absolutely nothing.

Oh, and yeah, that also included paying support for a child that we were not allowed to know...for 15 years until we took her to court to end it. At our own expense, mind you.

I love how everyone has a sob story, but in cases such as yours, NONE of it is seen as your own personal responsibility. It's the fault of those damn spongers that already receive benefits.

Well, I receive benefits, and I'm highly offended by your generalizations, and your seeming lack of realization that you have just as much personal responsibility in this as anyone else does. I work my ass off, full time, and have a home business on the side to supplement income. I'm paying part college tuition for my eldest, as well as my own, and my husband's student loans, and paying expenses for my other child as well. By careful budgeting, I was able to finally finish paying off my home, all of my vehicles are paid for (we NEVER purchase a vehicle on credit, we always save until we can afford to pay outright).

I'm not saying it's easy, because it ain't, but in the end, you've got to do what you've got to do. And bitching, and blaming everyone else isn't going to get you anywhere but more bitterness.

Best of luck.

And to Jodi, Evelyn and Firebird...Well stated, ladies!

Bottom line? Quit bitching, and start working. At something.

Jodi - posted on 08/08/2013

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I think it must be sad to be so bitter, so angry and so judgmental at such a young age.

Especially when many of these so-called debts you have ARE actually a result of choices you have made in the past.

If you have child support to pay - result of a choice made.
If you are with someone who has to pay child support - result of choice made.
If you have a debt as a result of past rent - result of a choice made.
If you have hospital bills - result of a choice made.
If you have student loans - result of a choice made.
You quit your job - choice made. I would even have gone so far as to buy a bicycle if that meant a temporary solution.

Stop blaming others for your circumstances. I get that this is hurting, but trying to convince me that most people abuse the welfare system is not going to happen. Maybe about 5%, but that isn't most. The amount of welfare payment you receive isn't necessarily based on your outgoings. They look at the cost of living (not cost of living plus the debt you have accrued because you weren't really living within your means) and what YOU need to get by on a day to day basis (not what you need to get by on a day to day basis PLUS pay off your past debt).

Why do people with children get more? Because the CHILDREN need it. Sure, a minority abuse that, but being so bitter because of that is really a huge waste of time, and definitely not helping you move forward to resolve YOUR particular issue.

Firebird - posted on 08/07/2013

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One of my co-workers... who happens to be a single mom with three kids.... spends 90 minutes per day walking her ass to work 5 days a week, and another 90 minutes per day walking her ass home, because she doesn't have a car. Just saying. Edited to add: She's a waitress, so she also spends her entire work day... you guessed it! Walking.

Chelsea - posted on 08/07/2013

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and Jodi no I didn't have any choice in the matter in choosing to quit we had no extra money, even to get a so called run around car. I worked in a factory they didn't give two shits about what was going on in my life I called them and tried to see if there was anything I could do to still keep my job, they said if I don't make it into work that's 3 points per days I missed, We have a total of 12 points before we are fired, that's four days I could have missed, Not enough time to come up with the money to even buy a cheap car. And you think I just sit on my ass and post this shit? I have applied for over 30 jobs since I quit mine. I have all the reference numbers and everything, Multiple positions in multiple jobs in my town, I even applied at jobs in the town my boyfriend works in. For around the same shift so he could drop me off and pick me up. I am NOT making excuses, I have called and called for interviews, no one has givin me an interview or a call back. On top of that my job which I worked through a temp agency they told me the only way I could keep a position with them, was if I got a car and showed up on Monday, It was Tuesday when I got in the wreck that gave me six days to find money to get another vehicle. We already filled out all the paperwork for loans for another car, and no one has called back, and read my other post before you go around saying I'm making excuses or ANYTHING I have not had just the great old dandy life. I bust my ass and so does my boyfriend. We have no spare cash, and we don't buy ANYTHING we don't need. I am sick of everyone defending this shit, or talking shit to me. I never said that everyone that gets assistance blows it, I said a certain percent of the people do. And I never said that people who were poor shouldnt have children. My mother was a single mother, raising two children, working double shifts, and going to college, with No assistance because My grandfather is a veteran, and she could go to college for free. 700 a month for rent, 2 children, that both fathers didn't pay child support, my mother didn't even ask my father for child support until I was 12 and before that she raised me and my little brother by herself, with no help from anyone. But she did it. Proving that if people put their mind to it they don't need assistance. I am making a big deal about this because it just goes to show you, that if you don't have children you cant receive any help. They pick and choose people that they think deserves it more then other people. Who are they to decide that others deserve it more than I do? More then My mom does? Or more then my boyfriend who got more loans then he could ever afford taking care of his children and sending their mother more and more money every week, when she got disability for her drug problem. We have nothing but because the government doesn't care about loans, or phone bills, or college bills, or court bills, or hospital bills they only care about how much his gross pay is and how much our rent and utilities are. We have a hundred bucks a week after our bills to buy the things we need, but no one cares about that, they just care what the house bills are. I tried telling them that we have a crazy amount of bills but they told me I have no children and we make more then we need just subtracting rent and utilities, Nothing else. We don't even have walls on our house, not on the inside anyway. No floors, old as hell furniture that's been used by many other people, we have no cable, tarps hanging between our bedrooms, and so many pieces missing from many parts of our house, because we cant afford to fix the place up, we cant afford to put our house together. And not because we are going out there buying things we don't need. We don't have cable, we are using his sons laptop, we have old used furniture, cinder blocks holding our bed up, only chunks of many carpets on the floor, got rid of our animals, we have a stove that only one burner works, we are not privlaged, in any sorts of ways. The bills we pay, the loans, were for HIS children, so they could have a good life, my court bills, because my roomates that were getting assistance and had children decided to quit their jobs, and its been 8 months and I AM THE ONLY ONE out of four roommates that have even paid on the bill, we have college loans so my boyfriend could better his career, 160 out a WEEK for his son for child support, that lives on his own and doesn't see a damn dime of it. Ive applied at many jobs, I fought to keep my job. And its been weeks and the insurance company hasn't even got off their asses to check the damages on my car, so we can get a settlement.

Chelsea - posted on 08/07/2013

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Ok, it wasn't just a 200 dollar bill, I also have a 3000 dollar bill in another state, and a 1000 dollar bill that Ive been paying for months, my boyfriend also has hospital bills and college loans that he is paying off so no I'm not just Bitching about a 200 dollar bill. I have court bills from living with three other people when I could pay my portion of the rent, yet they had children, and both parents quit their jobs, had all sorts of government assistance but refused to pay their portion of the rent. And on top of that I'm well aware of the ebt card, and I know for a fact that some people use a certain amount on the card and sell the rest for cash, handing over their pin and card to another person lets say has 100 bucks on it and gets 50 for it. So it is still proven that people can still trade their foodstamps for cash. So its not just the paper food stamps that can be sold. And off my high horse? I am not on a high horse. And live within my means? WE DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING that we don't need. The laptop that im writing this on is my boyfriends sons, we don't have cable, we have cell phones, for work and emergencies, We had one car each and both had jobs, and since I didn't go to the er when the wreck happened I went to an immediate care clinic the insurance is refusing to pay for it. We live in a house that isn't even finished, we have no walls just insallation, the floor.. we have bits and pieces of different chunks of carpet, we have a couch that has been passed down from 8 people that is falling apart, our bed is on cinder blocks, and our washer is hooked up to the sink so we cant wash clothes and do dishes at the same time or the sink will over flow. All because my boyfriend had three children that he has paid an arm and a leg for. Their mom would pay for shit he had to drive 6 states a way to get his children, and he sent them money every year for their birthdays and their mother took their cards and the money, on top of that he had to pay for 4 plane tickets there and back, on his own with no help. We have nothing that we do not need, we don't go out to eat, we don't party we don't do anything that we cant afford. And based on one person? I have known hundreds of people that sell their EBT card for cash, I know for a fact that one of my friends gave their whole 200 dollar food stamp card to one of their roommates in exchange for their rent. All you need is a pin and the card. And yes we had full coverage on the car and no the accident was not my fault but my car and the year it was is only worth a grand. We have to pull out another loan just to get another car. I have been homeless, I have lived in a homeless shelter, I was married and living under a bridge because I had no money, and because how much my father made even though I didn't live with him, and had no help from either parents, they refused to give me any kind of assistance, I lived under a bridge with my husband until a lady that didn't even know us who used to preach at the homeless shelter let us live with them. And seeing what I've seen and going through what I've been through I would not want to bring a child in this world. Some people do need assistance and some people do use it to help their children, I never said otherwise. I never said 100% of people did these things. I said most of them. I know for a fact that at least 15 woman I used to work with were Pot heads, or going to the bar every night after work, when they had children, I have been at peoples houses where they snort crack, and take pills, smoke pot and have wild crazy parties, yet they have 2 to 3 children, and then write on their facebook, how much they hate their lives, and never have any money and don't know how they are going to buy diapers, yet they get WIC, Food Stamps, and go to the trustees office for help for their rent. So as for me being on a high Horse, I have been through more shit then many people, and I am still incredibly young. As for we need to live within our means? We don't really have anything, we have thousands of dollars in hospital bills, even more in student loans, on top of that my bf is still paying child support on his youngest son, even though he is 19 and not in his mothers house but in that state you have to still pay for the child until they are 20. 160 a week he pays for his child that doesn't see a dime of that money, and on top of that she just got 6000 dollars in disability because she abused drugs, and cant work because it fucked her up. We have sheets and tarps that block our bedroom from the living room because we cant afford to put in walls. The bills we have, phone, college loans, hospital bills, court bills, child support, insurance, the electricity, after all of our bills we have like a hundred dollars left for food, and laundry soap, dish soap and whatever else we need, I have talked to the government assistance people, they don't care about court bills, hospital bills, college loans or anything like that all they care about is the gross pay and how much rent and utilities are.

Ev - posted on 08/07/2013

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QUOTEING: "I've done many studies even wrote an article on this in the newspaper, taking surveys and filling out all the data, 80% of people that knows anyone on government assistance say that they exchange foodstamps for cash for themselves, or don't deserve all that they are getting when the government only cares about the so called poor people."

You did studies or did you read studies in your research online and in other places? I have some news for you. Ever hear of EBT cards or others similar to that. They are like a debit card and the food stamps are loaded on them once a month. NO ONE CAN CHANGE IT FOR CASH ANYMORE. They have not used paper food stamps in years. I had to bring this one to your attention. Sorry if you get offended on that one, but I think you failed to find this in your so called research.

QUOTING: "And in retrospect I am a firm believer in if a person cant afford their children they should at least be on birth control or use some other method of protection. Why would anyone want to bring a child into this world without knowing they could afford them? Or even caring? But apparently because the side effects of birth control and how condoms feel 75% of women and 85% of men don't want to use birth control, not even caring about the consequences. And think about all those poor people? If they were that poor they shouldn't want to bring a child into this world anyway, if they were that poor they should think before opening their legs, do you get any kind of assistance?"

While I agree people should use a form of protection to keep pregnancy down to a minimum you tend to forget some people can not afford it. Some people are allergic to some forms of it. The prescription meds do have side affects and some people can not take it for that reason and government and health insurances do not pay for it for you. I have two children and I am poor but that does not mean I care any less and I do take care of my own. I make sure they have clothing, food, and shelter and what they need for school. Anything else has to be either saved for or waited on. And who are you to say that people who are poor should not have children. Some of them are better parents than some I have seen and know that have the money to give their kids everything. There is more to this than that. YOu can not judge people because they are poor and on assistance. You do not know their situations and circumstances at all.

I have to agree that if your BF has the means coming in to support you guys and you can get payments for the medical bills and others even, then make a budget to that effect.

I have a friend who gets housing, medical, and food stamps for her and her kids. 1) She has only certain income coming in and because of one of her kids' medical condition she can not work because she needs to be available if he gets hurt and has to go to Children's Hospital hours away in an emergency. Also, she gets support for her kids but its always behind and there are some months she does not get it though its listed as income every month. She can not count on it as Child Support Enforcment takes its sweet time in enforcing payment. 2) She has no car. The last one she got she had to put a lot of money in to get it running and it does not run. 3) I know if it was in her power to do so and if her kid was not needing her to be available to take to the hospital she would be working herself.

Sometimes the circumstances are beyond someone's control.

Chelsea - posted on 08/07/2013

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Jodi, No there is no other transport in town. I live in the country, at least 10 miles away from town. No buses, no taxis, Nothing. And as a matter of fact the maternity leave thing doesn't piss me off, because at least those women have jobs. And as for my boyfriend making to much so I'm better off then most people, we are struggling like crazy to make ends meet. With hospital bills, insurance, all the bills of the house, child support and so much more, Ive sold almost half of my things just to be able to pay for my bills, not including his. And studies shown with the kids parent not working or whatever.. I have taken that kid and watched him for weeks at a time because his mother wants time off, he has rashes, and bruises and other people are trying to file claims because she sticks an 8 month old in a closet so she wont hear him while he she is sleeping. Their floor is covered in dog shit and Piss, I have gone over there many times carpet cleaning, and cleaning their house, even though I had a job working 60 hrs a week, and she is home all day with the kid. She sits and watches movies, or plays video games. When I watch him she refuses to spend anymore of her damn WIC then she has to. I have to go out and buy him diapers and formula and baby food because she says he doesn't need more then a few bottles a day and has him sit in his shit and piss for hours. And then what do ya know she is pregnant again and doesn't even care for her first child. I've done many studies even wrote an article on this in the newspaper, taking surveys and filling out all the data, 80% of people that knows anyone on government assistance say that they exchange foodstamps for cash for themselves, or don't deserve all that they are getting when the government only cares about the so called poor people. And in retrospect I am a firm believer in if a person cant afford their children they should at least be on birth control or use some other method of protection. Why would anyone want to bring a child into this world without knowing they could afford them? Or even caring? But apparently because the side effects of birth control and how condoms feel 75% of women and 85% of men don't want to use birth control, not even caring about the consequences. And think about all those poor people? If they were that poor they shouldn't want to bring a child into this world anyway, if they were that poor they should think before opening their legs, do you get any kind of assistance? I even put my research and what I thought of all of this on my facebook, and everyone that commented agreed or have been denied for disability or foodstamps or anything, and you know what else most people that get all defensive and try to stand up for all the wrong doings and the people that arnt getting assistance, are normally receiving assistance themselves so of course they would defend it. I have had to sell half of my clothes, get rid of my animals, sell all my frames and half the things hanging on my walls just to pay my hospital bills. And that's not even including the bills that I cant pay. I am going in to debt because I cant work right now, and my boyfriend is spending more on the bills then he makes on his paychecks we have already had to take out a loan, yet the government says we can afford it and since his kids arnt here and I don't have any they cant help us. I have tried to ride my bike to town, it took me over two hours, and on top of that I JUST GOT IN A WRECK THAT TOTALED MY CAR. I can barely sit or stand without crying in pain. We had full coverage on my car yet the insurance company doesn't seem to care, and on top of that I got denied any kind of medical assistance so now on top of that I have a 200 dollar hospital bill from after the car wreck that I have no clue how I am going to pay. I have talked to many of my friends about this, and most of them work, and cant get any help with their kids and are struggling to get by because the government say they pay too much and a few of them only have one child. Yet the people that don't work or refuse to work can have 4 children and have all the help they need. And there wouldn't be children spiraling through any poverty cycle if people could learn that if you cant afford them, don't have them. In some foreign countries, they will kill any baby if the family has more then two, that's how they deal with their poverty spiraling, and no I don't think all that is necessary but I do think something needs to be done. I want children, but I am not about to go into a bigger debt because I cant get any help and I am not about to have a child and have to worry about if the baby has or will have everything they could possibly need. What bigger picture am I looking at? Because what I see, our country wouldn't be in so much debt if the government didn't pay millions of dollars helping the ones that couldn't keep their legs closed, or put the damn bottle of alcohol down, or from shoving all those pills down their throats. All of these things, what our government is paying for could have been helped, it was the peoples choices. Why I need the money or why many people need the money is due to no fault of our own, Ive had friends that got rear ended by someone texting and driving, and my friends will have pain the rest of their lives because of it, yet they are denied any assistance, because its all going to the people that are druggies, and alcoholics or cant stop procreating. Which one are you?

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