grandchildren and illness

Cherie - posted on 10/30/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I need help with understanding my daughters idea of proven illness. I had watched my grandchildren over the weekend while my daughter and her husband went to a work party. The day after watching the kids I came down with a nasty tummy bug that knocked the wind out of me. I texted my daughter to see if any of the kids were feeling bad but to my delight they were all well, that is until today. I picked up my eldest granddaughter from school for a scheduled outing but when I saw her I knew she wasn't feeling well. She gave me her list of issues (which were exactly what I had) and asked if we could skip the shopping trip and just go home. She is a senior in high school, a cheer leader and never misses school.

As soon as I got her to her home she went straight for the bathroom and then promptly fell asleep on the couch. I stayed for awhile but let my daughter know how sick her daughter was.

I just found out from my granddaughter that she will be going to school tomorrow even if she isn't feeling better-moms rules are no fever, no puking you go to school. I don;t get it, she knows her daughter and a virus is a virus, feeling like a truck hit you is putting it mildly:(,,,Why?

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Cherie - posted on 10/31/2012

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Thanks everyone....I was the mom that would allow the kids to miss school if they felt bad enough (especially the girls...that time of month) and they would choose to go to school and never abuse the privilege that is why I am so surprised that she has this rule...her children never miss school either just because although my granddaughter is looking forward to Senior Ditch Day! Shannon, you are correct, that's one of the reasons I know when she is sick because she can't miss school even if its only for cheer and the game!

My grandchildren and I are very close and always have been. I listen and I don't

judge. My rule is they can tell me anything and it will stay with me UNLESS it's illegal or hurtful then all bets are off and I tell my daughter. One time my younger 5 year old granddaughter told me a concern about her parents and I thought it best to tell my daughter of her concern and I was the bad guy so I am really careful what I relay to my daughter. I am not

judging her on her parenting skills but I understand that no matter how much we love our parents it's always a bonus to have an adult to share concerns with-I do believe my daughter may be a bit tough on the older two kids but I keep that concern to myself and walk away. My kids and grand kids are my heart and I just want them to be happy and healthy-no ego stuff at this end just love.

I understand the rule of no fever no vomiting go to school, however when a tummy hurts to the point of distraction there should be other consideration, and once in awhile it wouldn't hurt to support that. Thanks Lacy, I would have allowed her to stay home too, but again, I am not her parent.

Jodi, yes mom does work and I thought of that as well. She wouldn't have to be home with her because she is 17 so again, I am confused what the problem is.

another item to share is that my daughters two older children are from another relationship prior to her marriage ( my daughter and her husband have two daughters of their own now) and I attribute her change to his rules-he had a whole different upbringing and had to do everything for himself from 12 years of age-however that being said my daughter is an adult and has a mind of her own. I appreciate your feedback Happy Halloween....BTW My granddaughter did have to go to school and she texted me to say that she was still feeling poorly but at least starting to feel hungry again after two days so I will take her soup at lunch....at least I can do that! I wouldn't dare take her out of school! I know she will be fine in a couple days but for now this is what I can do as her grandmother.

Dove - posted on 10/31/2012

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No fever, no vomiting, and you can make it through the school day... and you go to school in my house too. Then again... I have the kids who when I took one's temp at 102 and said you can't go to school in the morning.... she asked 'why?' They do NOT want to miss school.



School's do have a 24 hour 'fever and vomit free rule' though, so if she's in school today... it's too early.

Lacye - posted on 10/31/2012

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My stepmother had the same rules for me. Not her own child but for me. I went to school with pneumonia, bronchitis, and stomach virus before. And God forbid if the school called her to tell her that I was sick. I would be grounded for missing school, even if I had gone most of the day.



Your daughter should have let her stay home. I would have.

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My mom had the same rule if we didn't puke you go to school, but if by lunch we felt worse than that morning we could call our Grandma to pick us up. I was also a cheerleader and if we missed school you missed practice or the game too which you never wanted to do.

Jodi - posted on 10/30/2012

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Not sure, you'd have to ask her. But I agree with you. I have a 24 hour rule in my house on those things. If it is a tummy bug, they don't go to school until they haven't vomited or had a fever for a minimum of 24 hours. Even if this was one of those 24 hour bugs that your granddaughter had, in my house she'd have at least a day off school. However, it's not your child, so you don't get a say in it, unfortunately.



The only thing I could suggest is that if mum works, she probably doesn't want to have to take the day off work unless she absolutely has to, although with a child this age, I wouldn't think that would be a particular concern. If my 15 year old is sick (which is very rare), he stays home even if I have to work.

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