Granddaughter 12 wants to go back and live with mom. How do I deal with this?

Alice - posted on 03/27/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi my name is Kathy and my husband and I have had our GD for about 2 years now. We always paid for all her needs and wants when she lived with her mother. It was a long hard road that finally ended up with no other chose but to take full custody. we paid for house rent, cars etc. I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about.Her mom never did fully step up to be a real mom. No drugs or alcohol that I'm aware of just plain stupid I guess, but she is really a smart girl. Anyways long story short Our daughter lived across the street from us for about a year, and I can count the number of times she visited our GD her daughter. Well she married recently (seems good guy but who knows) and she stated going to church got baptised I'm happy for them. So she took me to court a month ago to get GD back judge gave her visitation every other weekend. She also has 3 other children which she does not have father has 2 other one with other grandparent different town. Well now our GD says she wants us to give custody back to her mother. I wonder has she forgotten all the bad stuff all the mental abuse the having to take care of her younger siblings. Her mother can barely support herself and my husband and I do well we have the means to give her things. And we give her all the love she could want I'm her grandmother.But anyways you get the picture sure many of you are in the same boat. I would like very much for her mom to change and be a good mom for her childrens sake. But I haven't seen any changes in her. I can't sleep can't eat all I do is maintain for fear of her going back to her mom and back into the same old mess I've tried talking to her but she doesn't seem to listen she only says her mom has changed.Like I said I don't know we don;t speak

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Alice - posted on 03/27/2014

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thank you for the reply yes she leaves on friday and returns on sunday. We go back to court april 17 so the judge can make a decision. Problem with that is judge seems to like my daughter for some odd reason cause she can decieve better than anyone I've ever meet. Also I'm the type to speak my mind when need be. The judge got upset with me last time said I was disrespecting my daughter. I stayed quiet until I couldn't take the lies anymore. I told the judge I only wanted what was best for child. I'm very worried about this cause I know that it won't be long and we will have to go to court to get her back again. I just really don''t want to see our GD hurt again Kathy

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/27/2014

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She is 12. Of course she wants to be with her mom, but that doesn't mean it is the best decision. Right now, you are her legal guardians, and need to keep her best interest in mind, and not just what she wants. Does she stay over nights with her mom yet? I would start there. Take it slow. Let them have their visits. Let them reconnect. She may just be looking to become more of a part of her moms life, and doesn't really know any other way.

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