Julia - posted on 11/16/2012 ( 23 moms have responded )
I need some help/opinions on an issue I'm having with going back to work. After my first maternity leave, my mother-in-law decided she wanted to watch our daughter for one day at week, and we would take her to daycare the remaining days. This arrangement worked well for us. Grandma got her special time with our daughter, but we didn't overburden her as full time babysitter.
However, I'm going back to work now after my second child, and we're having difficulty deciding what to do about her "play day". She made it clear to us that she did not want to watch both at the same time. She wanted to alternate Fridays off with each child. We told her we weren't comfortable with that because the other child would feel upset when they had to leave for daycare, and the other got to stay home (i.e. tantrum time). I don't believe the kids are old enough to understand that arrangement. So grandma got very upset and said that it was her way or not at all. Since that discussion, she has indirectly let me know that she intends to keep babysitting my older child, and let my younger go to daycare full time.
I think that is even worse, because now she appears to be favoring my oldest. It's making me quite upset because I'm already sad about having to leave my youngest for work. I'm about to tell her we want to do daycare full time for both, to avoid hurt feelings for both my kids..but I do think there is some benefit to her spending time with them (even if it is only one of them?).
This is my mother-in-law, and she's very quick to anger..so I'm just looking for some feedback before I make any decisions.