Lisa - posted on 12/26/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
Son is now 8.
Mom and dad, never married, never lived together. Mother has sole legal custody. Mother and father get along pertaining to child. Mom and child lived at biological mothers house in the basement apartment for first 5 years. Paid rent,worked, took child to childcare. Grandmother never raised child.
2012, huge fight over money, I finally put foot down I'm not giving her money anymore. Kicked out. Within 6 days I was packed and moved out with my child. She served me with custody paperwork. 2012-2013 too many lies she alleged about me. Entire case dismissed, custody, visitation, etc.
I allowed visitation for some time, slowly but surely it was being reduced for issues. She was badmouthing me in front of my son, I started dating and she would embarrass me in front of him and his child. She refused to follow new parenting notions being introduced at home (shower vs bath, eat at table not on couch, sleeping in own bed, etc). She stopped calling child in January 2015. February was our last call to her. She called CPS to make yet another false allegation against me, my boyfriend, and the child's best friend. This caused serious disruption in many respects.
July 2015 I'm served with visitation paperwork. Long story short, Judge set for trial.
I'm so at a loss here. Yes, I have an attorney, but he is a very busy person.
My whole life my mother did nothing but cause disruptions and attempt to severe any relationships I ever had, ever female friends.
I'm very responsible, don't drink, never touched drugs, veteran, volunteer, etc. I live a very honest life. I don't go out, don't leave my son with anyone.
I don't understand why my mother resents me so much. I've tried to make amends with her too many times and I just can't do it anymore.
She does not care of the cost this is costing me. She is not looking for visitation for best interest, she's only doing it to get under my skin.
She alienates my son from me when I used to allow them to be together.
Last Xmas she refused to allow him to bring any gifts home, said I would throw them out.
Did not send a bday card.
Did not send Xmas card this year.
She does not call.
I offered, through court, for her to attend sporting games. She comes, but sits furthest away and tells judge I'm keeping him from her.
I offered her to come over for holidays, she refuses.
I don't understand the law and why they would allow this to be continued in the courts. I'm very confused why she is allowed to make blantant lies in court and not be held accountable.
I'm confused by the best interest test. What exactly is that? How can I safely keep my child away from her come trial time where he does not have to endure the pain and suffering I have endured all these years?
She failed to submit her discovery. And we just got a new judge assigned, 40 days before trial date is set. I do not want this prolonged. What is the likelihood this will be delayed?
Reading this, please don't think I'm trying to keep my son from his grandmother. That's never been my intention. I'm trying to safeguard him from the mental abuse, manipulation, constant life of "lawsuit vs conversation" mentality, reality vs fantasy, and just allowing my son to be a child. And yes, it's also safeguarding myself too.
One thing I never wanted to do was take his grandmother away from him. I had the most amazing relationship with mine and just wanted to encourage it for my son. Then I realized, I always had a troubled relationship with my mother... Where my son never did. So, in the end, I'm not taking anything away from him, I'm saving him. I will always love my mother, but she really needs help.
Thank you for your feedback.