Melissa - posted on 03/16/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have a question! I just want to know how to handle my situation without it ending in hate or an argument.. my situation is this: my oldest child will be 10 this summer. When I had her ten years ago I was a single parent at the mere age of 18. I got myself together and finished school and was In the process of moving out of my parents and going to college to better my life and my child's. When I was 8 months pregnant I was struck as a pedestrian crossing the street by a careless driver who switched lanes because someone had stopped to allow me to cross.. I almost died and I was in critical care for the next 3 months of my life. My child survived but was delivered early and in nicu for a month. With that my mom took time off work to help me get better and help me with my child. Which I am so greatful for. She was off work for 6 months after that I raised my daughter. I decided to go to college a few years after and she had helped me pick my daughter up from daycare since I wouldn't make it in time before the daycare closed. She watched my child for a total of 1 hour every week day well I made it home. That was only 2 years of my child's life. Now years later she is constantly telling me what to do and how to raise my children, she also is quick to say how horrible of a mom I am and picks apart everything I do as a parent. When I confront her about it she is quick to defend herself and claim she raised my daughter and I was never there... it's like in her head I wasn't there.. I took my daughter to daycare before my class I was with her when I got home from college she never watched her for me to do homework I had to make it all work by myself. I was with my daughter all weekends and holidays and every chance I could get. I made that my duty. Now I tried not talking to her about my kids I never mention any of the little stuff but everyday I am constantly reminded that she raised my oldest and that I'm a horrible mother. She constantly sends me parenting advice on my email about the struggle of being a young mom and how young parents screw up their children. I am always there for my kids! I LOVE them to pieces and would do ANYTHING for them. I thought about distancing myself from my mother but... she's my mom! I love her... so my question is then how should I address this? Do I confront her about it... I have before and she is quick to the defence... or should I just try and shrug it off like I have been doing for many years now?


Dove - posted on 03/16/2016




I honestly do not know how I would handle it as my parents have always had complete respect for me as the mother of my children. If I didn't get that respect I would have to seriously limit or eliminate our time together.

Maybe remind her that she had her chance to raise you and now it's your turn to raise your kids. If she is confident that she did a good job w/ you... then she needs to trust that you will do a good job w/ your kids...even if it's not the same as she would do. No parent is perfect and we could all use some advice from time to time, but SUPPORT and encouragement go a lot farther than criticism.

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