Grandparents

Mr - posted on 03/19/2016 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I was wondering if anyone has problems with there parents not watching there grandchildren once in a while

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Ev - posted on 03/19/2016

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Have the grandparents on both sides spent time with this child other than babysitting? If you and your fiance were so worried about having "us time" maybe you should have waited a while to have a baby. Babies are a blessing and whether planned or not, once they are here you give up "you time", "me time", and "us time". Maybe the timing of asking them was not good and they could not for some reason. This is your child and you have to raise her. I am not saying they should not babysit or you should not ask them, but they are not required to watch the child. But it is always a good thing to do that. They get time with the child and can build a relationship. But if this is about you and her having time together maybe you should ask in such a way that they will want to watch the baby....I do not know.

Ev - posted on 03/19/2016

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You are welcome. It is always good to communicate. That is the best advice you can get really. I am a new grandmother too. But I would give anything to have my grandkids as often as I can get them. They call me Mom Mom not grandma.

Ev - posted on 03/19/2016

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Parents can be hard to understand at times. But you are right, if they want to see she is cared for good and do not like sitter then they need to say something to you. At the same time, it is your child and you raise her how you feel fit to raise her and they have no say in that. I think maybe it is time you had a sit down talk with both sets of grandparents and let them know what you are doing and why. Tell them that you offer to let them have her but then they back out and you have to have a sitter because you have no other choice. Ask them if it bothers them so much why do they not step up to babysit.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/19/2016

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I would just avoid discussing who is watching your children when they are not willing to help. Don't tell them. It really is none of their business. If they choose not to be part of their grandchildrens lives, that sucks, but you cannot force them....but they should not assume they have any opinion regarding who IS watching them.

Ev - posted on 03/19/2016

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if they refuse and then decide they do not like it that you got a babysitter after refusals....that is their problem. They had the chance and did not take it.

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Sarah - posted on 03/20/2016

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I don't think it is really worth having some sort of talk with them, you are setting the stage for defensiveness and resentment. Don't tell them when you hire a sitter. You don't have to disclose that to them.
My parents and my in-laws were on the same page; we raised you, now you raise yours. Certainly they watched my kids in emergency situations and they'd offer occasionally. I never called and asked them to watch my kids so I could be with my hubby. If they had concerns over my judgement as a mother as to whom I chose to watch my kids, they kept it to themselves. As I would expect, unless i was truly putting my kids in danger.

Michelle - posted on 03/19/2016

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I posted this in your other post:

It was your choice to have children so it's your responsibility.
My Mother has really looked after my kids at all, only if I have asked her to. That's fine by me as I don't expect the Grandparents to be on call all the time.
My kids only have the 1 Grandparent in the same country as well, all the others are spread around the world.

Mr - posted on 03/19/2016

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Ya were gonna have to talk with them , I mean there's more to the story but it's too long to explain lol but thank you for ur opinion it's always good to here from other people what they think

Mr - posted on 03/19/2016

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Well my mom has olny seen are daughter Mabey like 4 times since she has been born and his mom I mean she sees a little bit more then my mom bc she lives closer to us , but I mean ur right it's not there job to babysit but at the same time it's like when we hire a babysitter to watch her it was olny 1 time the sitter olny watched her for an hour but are families get mad when someone else watches her I just feel like they should mind there own business like if they are so concerned on who watches her and have an opinion then they should

Mr - posted on 03/19/2016

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Right I understand that but at the same time they don't even know there granddaughter bc they don't come around, and then when we are like we found a babysitter they get upset about it so it's like well if ur so concerned about who we have watch her then u should

Mr - posted on 03/19/2016

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Me and my fiancé have a 9 month old daughter and I would say his mom has only watched her 3 times and my parents have never watched her , I feel like they don't care if me and my fiancé spend time together, and like his mom will say she will watch her and never does .idk I was wondering if anyone else is going through something like this thanks.

Ev - posted on 03/19/2016

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Grandparents do not have to watch their grandkids at all. It is not their responsiblity but I have watched my grandkids several times for my daughter and her husband gladly and I did not ask to be paid for it because it was me and kid time. But the grandparents should have the choice to watch them or not. It should not be expected.

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