Grandparents have Gaurdianship/custody of my child and will not give him back to me! I want to file a motion in court but they are threatening me...PLEASE READ! Help me!

Brittany - posted on 09/03/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi, I am a 21 year old mother of two. I have an 8 month old that I have full time, and a 4 year old that my mother has guardianship over. I was 16, almost 17 when I had Connor, my older son. The situation is, is that my son is with me Thursday around 5pm until Sunday around 7pm, no daycare, 3 meals, naptime, bathtime, playtime, and all, straight through. He is then dropped off at my mothers Sunday night and goes to daycare from 8am-5pm Monday through Thursday. That would mean that she spends a total of around 15 hours with my mother compared to the 75 hours I have him. My parents have told me not to file anything in court to let them know I have been taking care of my son more than half the time. They are afraid that they will lose kinship care/daycare and I truely believe my mother is worried about getting her litte tax return for him (sad to say). I have had depression in the past and anxiety problems my whole life. They use that against me and try to threaten me with trying to get my younger son taken away by making me look bad in court with my trials and obstacles I've had in my life. I am a good mother and make sure he is fed well, bathed, reads and learns, has plenty of toys and love, my home is safe, I would never hurt him, and I find that I am good at punishing him without getting emotional or angry with him to teach him rather than just to punish him. I have been having to pay child support this whole time and take care of him at the same time. I don't think its right for myself to have to pay child support for a child I take care of. I just recieved a notice by mail from the Child support agency that they may file a warrant for my arrest if I do not pay my child support (which I cannot afford because I'm using the money to take care of him!), so I am wanting to finally file a motion, that way it is legally know that I have my son half the time, if not, just file for full custody. I am scared to do that because my mother is threating to try to make me look bad in court and fight them saying that I do not have the mental capacity to take care of him, and that my anxiety will get in the way of it and hurt his well being. I truely, deep in my heart, know that I am ready to have both my children in my household and it makes me feel empty when he is gone. They have also threatened to not be supportive of me as a parent any longer and never offer any type of moral, financial or help like most grandparents do if I file. I do not know what to do. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my mother, but I feel that this is the right thing to do. I need your help!! What do I do? Oh and btw I gave my parents Guardianship because I was soo young, still in school, and was having major depression and anxiety issues when Connor was 5 months old and his father was incarcerated after almost killing me. I have grown and have gained wisdom and strength as a mother and woman since then. I was a child then, I am an adult now. I am not perfect and still have times that I am anxious or sad, but that is normal for me to have feelings!! It doesn't effect my parenting!! I think this may all be about the money she wants to get from the state. This whole situation makes me sick. Please help!!

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Lacye - posted on 09/03/2012

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As long as you have it documented that you have your anxiety and depression under control under a doctor's care, they can't really do anything to you about that. It seems like your parents are being selfish. You have the right to have your child back and I think you should go for it. As long as you didn't sign over your rights to them, I don't see where they can do that to you.

Dove - posted on 09/03/2012

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Definitely speak to a lawyer asap. You may be able to get a free consult or get help from Legal Aid.



Are you in counseling for your depression and anxiety? If not... I recommend getting into counseling. Especially with a counselor that would be willing to testify on your behalf. If depression and anxiety alone were enough to take a child away from his/her mother.... do you have any idea how many more kids would be in foster care?! Yes, depression and anxiety untreated can cause a lot of parenting problems, but if you are in counseling and the counselor can testify (even just by letter) that you are stable and perfectly capable of caring for your children (as you can document you care for one full time and one half time already).... your mom can not use that against you.



If your mom was really worried about you being a danger to your 4 year old.... she would already be trying to get the baby too. The fact that she hasn't ALREADY done that should help to show that she's not really worried that you will harm your kids... Plus the fact that you already HAVE the 4 year old half the time.



Good luck!

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Trisha - posted on 09/03/2012

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If you truly believe that she is just using it for the money and the money is not going towards child expenses, you can ask for the county to monitor the spending, if she gets any government assistance programs. chances of them actually doing it are slim as they have so many fraud cases

Trisha - posted on 09/03/2012

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Anxiety, can only hurt you if you have been seen by a professional and they have ordered prescription meds. and are refusing to take them. Chances are if you do file a motion, you mom will drop any kind of communication. I don't think it will last. Another thing is if your mother felt you where so unfit, why would she even allow you any alone time with the children because that can show some gaps in her story.

Kristin - posted on 09/03/2012

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We have my step kids the same amount of time as those mother and we still pay her child support.

is ur depression documented? Like have u been in a hospital for it? How long ago was that?

My husbands ex use to have the kids more than us and we paid a lot of support. they don't have a court ordered custody agreement and just made arrangements themselves. when my husbands work schedule changed, we got them equal time as the ex. they went to. out and they found out we share equal time and they decided the support a lot.

if u have them a few days a week ans the court doesn't know, u should let them know.

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