Erica - posted on 08/14/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
I am hoping for some advice. My husband and I have two boys together. He also has a 6 year old daughter from his previous marriage. We all get along great except I am having an issue with his parents. When my husband and I first got married, all his parents could tell me was how happy they were that he had divorced his ex wife because she was just horrible to him, was crazy, they didn't like her, etc. They seemed to just love me to death. Fastforward two years later and now my husband and I have a 15 month and a 3 month old. His parents were there for our boys at all the customary events...(birth, baby shower, birthday, etc.) but what I started to noticed was that the only other time they do anything with us as a family is when my stepdaughter is around. We always invite them to do things with us but they wont unless it is my husband's weekend with his daughter. His parents get to see her all the time since they live less than 5 minutes away from her so I don't understand why they will only come over when she is around. They claim that they are always afraid that my stepdaughter's mom wont let them see her if she gets upset with them. Also their house is full of toys that they have bought for her and nothing for my children. They will buy a gift for my son's birthday or if my stepdaughter (who loves her little brothers to death) pushes them to do it. One time my mother in law even told me that if ever my step daughter didn't want to be with her mom she could go live with her!!!! My inlaws are always begging my husband to give up one of his weekends so his daughter can stay overnight with them. My stepdaughter has even told me that her "grandpa" says that she is his most special. What finally got me really upset with my inlaws was when my husband told me that his parents were going on a cruise with his ex-wife and ex-mother in law because they wanted to take his daughter on a cruise. I am so upset because we have asked them so many times to go on a cruise with us and all the kids.
I feel really hurt by my inlaws. It is not like they have ever done anything to show they don't like me since we have always had a good relationship. My husband even expressed concerned to them with regards to showing favoritism but they claim that it is not true and that anyway my kids were too young to notice anything. I told my husband that I no longer want anything to do with his parents and that they are no longer allowed to see my kids. I know its wrong but I do not want my children playing second to anybody. It's already been a month and it seems that they do not care they have not seem our kids but God forbid they do not see their granddaughter for one week.
This issue is really consuming me. I love my stepdaughter like if she was my own but now I find myself feeling a little resentment when I see her and I hate it. It is in no way her fault and that is why I feel so emotional about this issue. I felt very close to my in-laws and I also hurt for my children. My kids are rejected by my mom because she does not like my husband so I basically have no relationship with her. My dad lives cross country so my in-laws are the only set of grandparents my children really have. Please advise me on what you would do in a situation like this.......