Grandparents think my son is theirs?

Angy - posted on 01/07/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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We were stuck in a 1-bedroom for awhile and let our oldest (2yr old son) stay every other night at great grandparents and grandpa's house. He got better sleep and it was just the situation at the time. Fast forward a bit we found a 3 bedroom house (Thank god) and that was supposed to be where we always have him except for on saturdays and friday nights because we figure grandparent/great grandparent time then. No they still end up swindling him back or making sure he's asleep when we try to go pick him up. I went to pick him up one day and someone said, 'If you are not ready for him we can keep him'. ... uh.. no. I put his shoes etc on and politely told them I was ok and that we were just going to go home. I have to hold back what I say to them because they have helped us A LOT. I mean helped with deposit for the house fridge table chairs all brand new. We didn't ask for some of it they just did it. I just want them to understand we have a house now and that that is OUR son not theirs....
So how can I gently and subtly ease my son back into my and hubby's home? I don't like confrontation and prefer to gently ease my son back into our routines as he is a very sensitive to change child.

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Trisha - posted on 01/07/2015

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Sit down with them and calmly tell them that you want to spend more time with your son. They should understand it. If they have any concerns, ask them to bring them up during your sit down talk.

Tell them you will stand by your original agreed upon time. It is probably best if you both agree upon a routine that can happen at both houses though, so he can get the same quality of sleep at both locations. Honestly, saying the night at Grandparents house 2 nights a week is still a bit much, but they would have built up a strong connection with him during that time.

You are going to have to give both your son, and Grandparents time to adapt to the situation. Be patient, but communicate.

Make sure that you, as a group, sit down to talk about what is best for him and don't focus on "I want" attitudes. It is very important that your child has time to bond with you, as you will be required to discipline and teach him. If you don't have time to bond, resentment will build.

Andrea - posted on 01/07/2015

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It is almost that they are trying to kid nap him in a sneaking way. I would never bring him to his grand-parents.

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