Grateful for abortion rights

Sara - posted on 02/01/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I've been surprised by some of the intensely pro-choice sentiments on COM, and wonder what the demographics are that they're coming from. I'm guessing, given the writing and spelling in these posts, that they're coming mainly from women without much education, but that could be wrong.



I'm in my mid-40s, a mom. Never had to have an abortion. Not Christian, some science background, a Republican. I'm hugely grateful for abortion rights, and while it's not likely I'll need to use them before I head into menopause, I work to preserve them for my daughter.



I get really annoyed with people who plead for adoption. First, I think they've got a fairy-tale idea of how adoption goes. Yes, some adoptions work out well. Others, not so much. You have no idea who you're giving that child to; you may have met them, but you don't know them. Your child will not be like them, and you don't know how they'll handle that. I've known too many adoptees given to "good homes" that turned out to be long trails of despair and intense loneliness, especially when the adoptive parents were finally able to have their own children.



Second, the stigma that attaches to women who voluntarily give up children is *intense*. People judge harshly, and with serious consequence, when women lose or cede custody in divorces; can you imagine the stigma for a 35-year-old woman with a family who gives a baby up for adoption? She'd be lucky to keep a job, and her kids would be lucky to keep their friends. She'd be subject to abuse wherever she went.



One of the things I haven't seen discussed here is medical training in abortion for med students, which is not usually required and is in short supply these days. What do you do to support it?

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**Jackie** - posted on 02/08/2012

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So I wasn't going to get involved in another debate about abortion...but I clicked on this and read Susin's post and I was appalled! Susin I am so sorry that not only someone would post that about abortion only being ok if a woman was raped and the attacker had HIV. WOW. OK, well for those of you who don't know me (ahem ahem lol) I am Jackie I do not believe in abortion for many reasons. HOWEVER, I do believe in there being a million and one different stories and circumstances and beliefs. Before I came onto COM I would have told someone that I was pro-life....now...I just say that I don't believe in abortion but to each their own. I am horrified at the pro-life comments and how harsh and insensitive some women can be...especially since we are all mothers. Wow. I'm sorry you had to read something like that and although my opinion won't change, I don't want to be associated with someone who can be that rude. P.S. Hi Kalloosit!!!

Susin - posted on 02/07/2012

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I particularly enjoyed the comment that a woman could only have an abortion if she was violently raped..oh, but he had to be HIV positive too....wth???



I would love for there to never be one more abortion, but until we have real education, true responsibility from the Dad's and an end to the violent war on women that has existed since time began and on every continent...we MUST have that choice.



Oh, and although I did have twins, there truly isn't enough room in my uterus, so I'd really like the government and the pro-lifers to stop trying to climb into it ;p

Jodi - posted on 02/01/2012

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"I've been surprised by some of the intensely pro-choice sentiments on COM, and wonder what the demographics are that they're coming from."



Don't you mean pro-life sentiments?

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Kimberlee - posted on 10/31/2012

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So you are pro-choice but believe most who are lack education ? Seriously? I think there are uneducated people on both sides of the abortion issue. I also think having some education beyond HS is helpful in understanding the many different aspects of a woman deciding to or considering an abortion. It's not as simple as some would like to make it out to be ( ie - kill a "Baby" or don't kill a "Baby"). There are many contributing factors such as economics , health , stigma etc etc...



I agree with most of what you said about adoption ( I think that issue could be a post of it's own ) ..



Bottom line is , I support a woman's right to make these decisions . I trust women to know what is best for them and to have the most thorough understanding of their own situation.

Pam - posted on 02/07/2012

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ROFL Susin! so it seems some are hard headed over there, and hyper judgmental.

Pam - posted on 02/07/2012

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I find the thread Abortion...What do you think? is more an attack zone... I noticed all the woman pro-choice has been met with hostility by a gaggle of pro-life woman. I dont actively support abortion I just speak my mind on it as well. There's a reason it exists and I'm sure there's plenty of research backing it for it too exist. I sure want my girls to have choices when they are older, esp god forbid they are raped. Alot of the ladies seem to not understand the vantage point of people who are faced with these issues and afford them no compassion...just a harsh opinion. Whatever the reason, if there is one, its reason enough. I love my kids and being pro-choice doesn't make me any less a mother.

Sara - posted on 02/01/2012

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Oh. Well, I'm definitely in favor of abortion rights for girls and women who got pregnant because they were irresponsible about birth control. It's not as though forcing them to have the babies suddenly makes them more responsible, and then it's the kids who have to suffer, too. (How many FAS babies do we need?) Adoption, not a magic solution.



I'm also in favor of abortion rights as backup to birth control that's used responsibly, but fails.



Nobody's "in favor of abortion" -- it's always a bad thing, but there are much worse things that can happen as a consequence of forcing women to have those unwanted babies.

Katherine - posted on 02/01/2012

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First off, I would like to thank you for pointing out the negative side to what you have said. Not many people think of the drugged raped woman who dont want to carry an unwanted child due to the it was concieved nor have any ties to the men who might be the father. Having to look into the childs eyes on a daily basis and remember that night or what you do remember of it. Giving it would nt work either because you will always be wondering if you made the right choice of giving up a child that was never suppose to have been here to begin with. If the child was going to look for her and hate her. Finding out he or she was conceived through the mom being drugged and raped.

I dont actively support abortion I just speak my mind on it when someone who has no true understanding of it says negative things about it.

I will say this, I do not condone the woman and young girls wo use it to get rid of it because Opps I had to much too drink or darn did I forget to take my pill today. I dont approve of fixing a mistake like that.

I will am happy it is there for my girls if anything were to happen to them. I dont belive in young girls being mommies when they are still in high school and have no idea what Real Responsibility is.

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