Great Grandma will not give up without a fight.

Theresa - posted on 11/09/2015 ( 27 moms have responded )

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My Daughter had a baby girl and my mom took the baby in. She allowed my mom to take care of her while she was incarcerated for three months. Well upon her release she also moved in with her grandma. And my mom took me out of my grandchilds life first. And after a few months kicked my Daughter out with her children but told her if she tried taking the baby. she would mess her up and with her money that my Daughter would lose all her kids. Well, she left the baby but every time she tries to call to see the baby my mom makes excuses and will not allow her to see her.. My Daughter wants the baby but knows how evil my mom can be. Also she thinks if she gets her back it will kill my mom. But something has to be done. I also want to see my grand daughter and she will not even talk to me. She screens all calls. And I can't reason with her.

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Raye - posted on 11/10/2015

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If there is an investigation and your mother has no proof, then why would your daughter lose her kids? Being in jail for unrelated issues does not make her unfit to be a mother. Needing help from her family does not make her unfit to be a mother. The great grandmother of this child is not it's mother. No amount of wanting, lying, or threatening will make the baby her child. Her wanting the child to call her "mommy" is a HUGE indicator that she's a little off her rocker.

Sarah - posted on 11/11/2015

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I do not advise your daughter going alone to "hold and visit" the baby and then try to leave. If you mom is off her rocker who know what can happen before the police arrive. Take the police with her, and the baby items actually belong to the baby; like diapers and formula, clothing and toys. The furniture is another matter. but the items that were purchased solely for the baby to wear or eat, belong to the baby. The police can probably persuade grandma to give those things over. What is really important here, your daughter getting her child back, or you having a supply of diapers. Once grandma know her intent, she may file for emergency custody. Then things may get dragged out for an eternity! When did she take in the baby?

Raye - posted on 11/11/2015

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Oh, and a signed piece of paper is not a legal document in the matter of custody. Even notarized, a judge may not recognize it as binding. The judge will rule what they feel is in the best interests of the child. Sounds like your daughter has been struggling, and maybe her situation isn't the best right now, but she should still try to find legal aid to see what the laws are and if she can present a case against your mother.

Dove - posted on 11/10/2015

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Scared to go by herself to get the baby? She doesn't go by herself... she can have the police w/ her. She should also definitely contact a lawyer first as the process may be different in different places.

Raye - posted on 11/10/2015

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People who post here are from all over the world. Your daughter should seek help from a lawyer so she knows exactly what her rights are according to the law where you live.

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Sarah - posted on 11/11/2015

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I agree, your story is interesting but it doesn't change a thing. Your daughter has not been stripped o f her parental rights. Her name is on the birth certificate. Call the cops and go get the baby.

Michelle - posted on 11/11/2015

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You keep telling us the same things. We get it, but we are also telling you what to do.
Get the police involved because if there are no court orders saying the Great Grandma has custody then she can get her child back.
The piece of paper that you each signed when your daughter went to jail is not legal. You didn't have legal custody of the baby to be able to sign it over to your mother.

Theresa - posted on 11/11/2015

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. My daughter had high blood pressure and was feeling sick. She went to the hospital and they told her she was pregnant. She was 7 months pregnant and had no clue. They ran test on the baby and everything came back fine a week later she had a doctor appointment and her blood pressure was very high. They said the baby had to come out but they had to run checks to make sure the baby lungs were fully developed, they were so they induced her labor. My daughter had that syndrome where she was not in her right mind. She said she just had a baby and how can she take care of another. She wanted to put her baby up for adoption but i couldnt see that happening. I knew later she would regret it and never fully recover over letting her go. She had tickets that went into warrants, and she couldnt even get an identification card so she knew she had to turn herself in. Sbe procastinated in doing so. One day she was riding her bike to the store and the police stopped her to for no apparent reason but a warrant check. She was going to jail. The baby was a perfect tiny little thing. 4 lbs and I asked my mom if she could take her in to help me. I had the other two. One i had to take to school every morning and the other i had to potty train and take off the bottle. Everything seemed to be working out fine. I would pick up my mom and take her to all the baby doctor appointment and i babysitted for my mom two or three times a week. I told her that i didnt want anybody else taking care of the baby that i would do it. She didnt have to pay me. Also i supplied all the the babies formula because i went to Wic for her and the little one i had.. Well my daughter did 6 straight months at county jail. She had never been incerated before. She cried all the time. Upon her release she came to my house and within two months moved in with her grandma. Well that was when my mom started showing her true colors. The baby was hers now and irenes baby boy she had was hers. She treated my grandson bad and called him names and didnt want my grandson near the baby. So when my daughter was alone she would let them bond and my daughter started getting attached when my mom went off and kicked her out. The baby is healthy beautiful and a little over weight. Shes a year and a half and that is what we are up against.

Raye - posted on 11/11/2015

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Your words: "The baby is so pampered and will not want for nothing in life at my moms".
WRONG! She will want for her real mother. Even if she's raised to call your mother "mommy", she will start to wonder why her mommy is different (so much older) than other mommies. She will have questions. She will KNOW something is not right even if your mom gives her lies to cover it up. WHEN (not if) she finds out the truth, she will be very hurt and angry. Physical comforts and material things cannot replace a relationship. Your mother is harming that child mentally and emotionally with the lies and keeping her from her real mother that does actually want her. It's cruel.

Theresa - posted on 11/11/2015

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Yes she filed for child support but the father is not apart of their lives. He is pretty much a bum and works under the table to support his bad habbits if he comes across any money. My daughter has let this guy drag her down so many times . That me pushing him away was her wanting him more. So i have accepted him. And now hes no where to be found. I am hoping my dsughter gets smart soon and realizes that this guy is lazy and is a user. He has never supported the first baby whos 2 years old and now she had another one. My grand daughter who is ten thought she was going to be an only child. Then 8 years later she had a brother and a sister. She is a best big sister and loves them very much.

Theresa - posted on 11/11/2015

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The waiting list for women and children shelters are full. Shes been on a waiting list. In order for her to get in a shelter right now would be. Emergency. Shelter, for Domestic abuse. We got clothes now but were working on the other necessities. It is so cold and potty training is going to be our only option. The baby is so pampered and will not want for nothing in life at my moms but my mother has alienated everyone. My daughter misses her baby and I also want my grand daughter apart of our lives.

Raye - posted on 11/11/2015

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Has your daughter filed for child support from the father(s) of her children? Could she check with her case worker to make sure the government assistance she gets is the most she is allowed? If her circumstances have changed, her case should be reviewed. She can check if there's any legal aid for reduced fee or free. She can check with a women's shelter who might be able to offer her resources. She could check with churches or other charity organizations to see if someone could donate a car seat, diapers, clothes, shoes, etc. if she really wants her kid(s) back and to be able to provide for them, she has to look into every available opportunity for help.

Theresa - posted on 11/10/2015

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She can not afford a lawyer. In fact we cant even afford diapers but we are going to potty train the baby asap. I am well experience in doing so. I have potty train many. Thats not going to be a problem. The problem is clothes and shoes . i am worried about. I am sure we can get help from my daughter in laws .

Theresa - posted on 11/10/2015

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We have nothing here for the baby. Her bed. Car seat. Her stroller. Diapers all her clothes my mom will not give up nothing. We would have to start from scratch and my daughter needs to find a way to get these things. I am on a fixed income. And i barely make ends meet. She can barely get by on what she gets from the government . i can help with babysitting and food sometimes but were both are going to have to. Work together to make it work. I told her its easier when there are two kids in close ages as far as her son and daughter are one and two. Kids entertain each other. When having one they want your full attention and it could be harder on oneself . financially not easy but moraly it is.

Theresa - posted on 11/10/2015

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There is no legal papers from court and nothing was notarized when my daughter gave me permission to sign a paper giving my mom legal guardian while my daughter was incarerated for matters not concerning her children. A girlfriend typed a letter and it was signed by me because there was no way my daughter could do so. I figured my mom would help and she is well off as far as money goes. I had my other two grandkids which are siblings to the baby. My mom went all out and was buying the baby everything. I supplied the milk and would take it to her every two weeks to help out as much as i could. Upon release my daughter came home and decided to go stay with grandma and take her two other children. Well great grandma didnt like my daughters 2 year old son. And it made my daughter so uncomfortable that my daughter didnt want to be there. My mother even stopped talking to me. Trying to brainwash my grand daughter age 10 who couldnt understand why my Grandma would pick on her little brother. Her brother that she loves more than anything. They could only play with their baby sister if the great grandma was gone. They couldnt take her out of the house to the park or on any outtings. They soon heard their nana (great grandma) saying she was the baby mama. And nana boyfriend said that that baby was their baby. When my daughter had a falling out because my mom told her to get that black niger cry baby out of the house. My daughter said, if he goes then they all go. And her grandma said get out but your not taking the baby. You didnt want her and everyone in this town and the next know it. That she would f...k her up if she tried. She would lie and her boyfriend would back her up what a bad mom she was and she would lose all her kids. Well my daughter left and didnt take the baby in fear of what her grandma is capable of doing. She went to stay at her sisters for a few weeks and tried calling my mom but was not able to talk because my mom screens all calls. My daughter had her oldest daughter try and my mom would make excuses. My daughter moved back to my house and i told her not to put it off and she told me that her grandma slapped her face in front of her children and threatened her that she would lose up against her. My daughter is not working and is trying to get a job but with all this going on feels hopeless and i cant talk to my mom because evidently she cant stand me. I am no good and that me trying to win her love is just a waste of time. She had six kids and only likes my oldest sister. Also she dont even like her other great grand kids no more. Just the one that she has been taking care of. My daughter does not have anything for the baby to bring home. Her and her other two kids sleep in one room. And they dont even have a heater just lots of blankets to keep warm. She said that she will go to her grandmas in the after noon after i get back from the doctors. She has no other way of getting her because she dont drive and i dont even have a car seat. I guess i will have to go buy that because its a must while child is in car. In california. Lord knows i couldnt afford a ticket.

Theresa - posted on 11/10/2015

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My Daughter wants to go and ask to see the baby first, most likely my mom will not open the door. If she does, my Daughter wants to be able to hold her and leave with Her baby against my moms wishes. If at that point there is a confrontation then she will go to the police and take what ever matters she has to for her to get her baby back.

Theresa - posted on 11/10/2015

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Dove, and Raye Ramsey. My daughter is on her way to city hall of records. After I read her your replies. She is more than ready to follow through on getting her baby back. She asked if you can go with her. She is scared to go by herself. I told her that I would be there for her but she mentioned my mom dont like me that it would make things worse. My mom had 6 kids one passed away and she only likes my oldest sister. The other 4 are she has tooken off her will and tells everyone that we only get a dollar. Her money will be left to my older sister and the baby.

Dove - posted on 11/10/2015

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You say her oldest child is 10? Plenty old enough to tell the truth. If mom is not a threat to the kids... mom will not lose the kids. She only has to worry if she IS unfit... and the longer she doesn't take action to get the baby back the worse it's going to be.

If great grandma does try to take it to court... have your daughter request psych evaluations for all adults involved.

Theresa - posted on 11/10/2015

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Great Grandma will not give up without a fight.
That is an understatement. She said, that everyone knows
That she never wanted the baby. She said she will lie and say
my daughter was abusive to her other children. And she
would lose all kids. My Daughter was away from all of them
For three months for warrants nothing to do with
Her children. And that about killed her. My mom helped with
Me with the Baby because I had my hands full. I regret it now
Because of the attachment she grew with the baby.

Theresa - posted on 11/10/2015

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My Daughter appreciates all the replies.
Today we are going to city hall of records
to get copies of birth certificate. I know this
Is going to be very difficult. I love my mom
despite how bad she has behave in the past
My Daughter also feels bad about everything
But its her baby and my grandchild and now
she dont want even want us around. My older
sister has been over to help her and a cousin also.
Both have no grand kids all they have is My mom
That gives them money all the time for exchange
Of any well doing they do to help her. My mom is 77
Years young. She looks about 60 years old. Acts like
She is the mommy and wants the baby calling her mama

Dove - posted on 11/10/2015

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She has kidnapped the baby and is threatening your lives... call the police and have her arrested. If she is doing this because she is mentally unstable.. she will get the help she needs. Otherwise she should be in jail because she is breaking the law.

Raye - posted on 11/10/2015

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What if your mother falls and breaks a hip or something? What if she's sprawled out on the floor for a couple days and the child is screaming because she's hungry and a neighbor calls the police? I bet Children's Services would be involved then.

Raye - posted on 11/10/2015

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Your mother needs to realize, while she may think she is doing right by the baby, she's destroying her family. Great-grandma has already raised her kids. She is not Mommy to this baby. Maybe she's afraid of being old and alone? But that's no reason to kidnap a child then threaten and alienate the child's mother. She might be a few cards short of a full deck.

Theresa - posted on 11/10/2015

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My Daughter living with me now has the other
two children ages 2 and1/2 and 10 year old
Alina the baby is 1 and 1/2 year old. the kids ask for Alina
all the time when Alina is coming home. The thing is
My mom said she would beat me up. If I went around
her house. And threatened to f**k up my Daughterif she
Tried. The thing is we don't want children services involved.

Raye - posted on 11/10/2015

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Your daughter has to file charges and take it to court.
Really, could it be much worse for her? You have two of her kids, and your mother has the other. So, what else could she lose?

Theresa - posted on 11/09/2015

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Thank you. No she has never lost custody through courts. She was living with her grandma up to a month ago. She got kicked out. When she was getting ready to leave her grandma threatened her and told her if she tried taking her baby then she would make sure my Daughter lost all her kids. My Daughter feared losing all of them because her grandma said she would lie and say whatever it took and fortunately her grandma has a lot of money that can pay for what ever she wants. I feel bad because I am the one who took the baby to my moms and asked her to help me because I had my daughters other two. And she agreed and got attached. Now she wants to be called mommy and Said my Daughter would be mommy always and I was gramma and she was Nana. She lied and now she thinks she can raise her better than anyone.

Dove - posted on 11/09/2015

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If your daughter has never lost custody through the court system... have her take her baby's birth certificate and call the police to have them remove the baby from great grandma's house.

if your daughter HAS lost custody through the courts... she needs a lawyer and to go to court.

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