guardium en litem appt to case sides with Father though I have been ra

Rose - posted on 05/19/2016 ( 10 moms have responded )

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raising her 6 years by myself how to I keep residential rights now

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Sarah - posted on 05/20/2016

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If you truly believe the GAL was biased, then you have one option; tell the judge ad request a review of her assessment be done and a second GAL appointed. Think long and hard before you proceed with this, as the judge is going to want to hear specific objective information from you as to why you believe her to be siding with your ex. GAL, are often volunteers or get compensated very little. They, like CASA workers, do what they do because they care about the well being of children. The training and screening is thorough and rigorous. Also, the information from the GAL is not the only factor in play when the judges considers the ruling. He will hear from you, the father, the GAL and review school records, housing assessments, and make a determination based on multiple criteria.

Ev - posted on 05/20/2016

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{{ALL I HAVE IS DOCUMANTIONS OF ALL THE TIMES HE WAS SCHEDULE TO VISIT AND DID NOT SHOW UP HE HAS A LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND THAT FOR SOME REASON WANTS MY DAUGHTER, IF IT WAS UP TO HIM NONE OF THIS WOULD BE GOING ON. }}~~~~Please refrain from using all caps on nearly everything. It is like being shouted at. As for him having a girlfriend, that is not the only reason he might be pushing for this. He has as much right to parent this child as you do.
{{he has visitation every Wednesday and every other weekend has for years now hes pushing for shared parenting, They have a child together and wants them to go to school together. He always plays the victim and makes everyone think hes so good.}}~~~~~The visitation you suggested he has sounds like typical non-custodial visitation that the court would order...is there court ordered custody and visitation already set? If so, he can still take it to court and ask that it be changed so he has more time with the child. He is after all the father of her.
{{THE GUARDIAN WAS A WOMAN AND I BELIEVE HE SMOOZED HER OVER. I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS THEY ARE HUMAN TOO AND CAN BE VERY BIAS, SHE TOLD ME MEN ARE WIRED DIFFERENTLY DEAL WITH IT. wHAT DOES THAT MEAN. iM TIRED OF MAKING EXCUSES TO MY CHILD FOR HIM!}}~~~~~You believe he somehow won over the guardian, but do you have proof of that? Yes, they are also human and are prone to mistakes or bias opinions but this woman should be a complete stranger and therfore; would have no biases at all where your case is concerned. Men are wired differently but that does not mean they can not parent a child as good as the women can. Men and women think differently on things is all that is different about them being wired differently as well as the emotions. It is too much to explain here.
As far as the guardian is concerned: Her job is to make observations of the child in both environments, talk to all involved in interviews and make her reports/recomendations to the courts. If she reports the child's best off in one situation over the other, then it is because of her observations and interviews that she derives her reports from. I think you are hurt that she might have made the recommendation that dad's home might be a more stable environment or more appropriate for the child's interests and it hurts to find that out. I know. I had to deal with a guardian with my own kids because dad took me to court for temp custody; and though I got it we had to deal with a guardian. She found that because he had a 3 bedroom home it was better for the kids though in my home because I had to move, I had two bedrooms but my son had his own room and I had to share a room to with my daughter and we had our own beds and space within the room. Plus my ex also had his parents near by to help with the kids I guess and that might have added to the recommendation they live with him. But in the end after the guardian interview process and home visits, she had made her choice based on what she observed. In the end I made the choice to let them live with dad because I could not put them through anymore hurting and pain and worry.
I really think that you are worried he could get custody. I think you are worried that you get visitation instead. I think you are scared. Those are common and natural emotions to feel about this. But you can not be the one to decide what to do as far as the best interests of the child. She has a half sibling now and if you try to make it hard on dad he can take you to court just for parental alienation and win custody.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/20/2016

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Ok, Rose, stop yelling.

If he is the child's biological father, he does have the right to request no only shared custody, but also shared support, shared parenting, etc. YOU BOTH have that right.

A GAL is obligated NOT to be biased, dear. That's what you are not understanding. If a judge even THINKS taht is happening, a new GAL is assigned. I'm sorry if the GAL did not find your conditions to be as favorable as the conditions with the child's father, but that is what sounds like happened.

Perhaps when she said "deal with it", she meant, "deal with the fact that I've made my recommendation and it wasn't what YOU wanted", and nothing more. Although I seriously doubt you were told to "deal with it", as a GAL is generally more mature than that.

What VALID reasons would a GAL have to recommend the child's father? You have avoided that question.

You also need to realize that a GAL will take into consideration the child's wants/needs and best interest.

Did you ever consider that your CHILD expressed that they'd like to live with their father? I know, I know, your BABY WOULD NEVER DO THAT... But they do, my dear, all the time. Kids express that they want to live with the non custodial parent more often than you'd like to think...

Rose - posted on 05/20/2016

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ALL I HAVE IS DOCUMANTIONS OF ALL THE TIMES HE WAS SCHEDULE TO VISIT AND DID NOT SHOW UP HE HAS A LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND THAT FOR SOME REASON WANTS MY DAUGHTER, IF IT WAS UP TO HIM NONE OF THIS WOULD BE GOING ON. he has visitation every Wednesday and every other weekend has for years now hes pushing for shared parenting, They have a child together and wants them to go to school together. He always plays the victim and makes everyone think hes so good. THE GUARDIAN WAS A WOMAN AND I BELIEVE HE SMOOZED HER OVER. I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS THEY ARE HUMAN TOO AND CAN BE VERY BIAS, SHE TOLD ME MEN ARE WIRED DIFFERENTLY DEAL WITH IT. wHAT DOES THAT MEAN. iM TIRED OF MAKING EXCUSES TO MY CHILD FOR HIM!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/20/2016

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The GAL doesn't "side" with anyone. They give their recommendations based on personal interviews and experiencing each situation that the child is being offered.

Ev - posted on 05/20/2016

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The guardian as Sarah put it does not side with one parent over the other. I do not know where you get the idea that would happen. I also ask what makes you think they would side with him? And just because he has a temper and drinks (you do not know how much he drinks since you are no longer with him), does not mean he can not share custody or have primary custody. Why is he suddenly trying to get it?

Dove - posted on 05/20/2016

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I agree w/ Sarah... except for the part of her experiences (because I have none).

Sarah - posted on 05/20/2016

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I work with a host of different guardian ad litem, as I am a school nurse in a huge district with many CPS cases as well as custody disputes. The Guardian is the one constant in the child’s life during this litigious process and uncertain time. They will speak with the child and both parents, teachers, therapists and other people important to the child's well-being and give an opinion to the judge. The GAL is a volunteer, often a CASA worker is used as well. They are devoted to the child and I have rarely seen one side with a parent who is abusive or dangerous. Why did you raise her for 6 years alone? Was the father asking and you said no? That could be your biggest mistake. Parental alienation is cause to lose custody. I encourage your to work with a mediator to arrange a schedule of shared custody with the father, before a judge rules to give her over to her father and then you have no say in the matter. You say he was a "when he feels like it" sort of dad, then why is there a custody dispute in the first place?

Rose - posted on 05/20/2016

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does that mean he will have residental rights and her school would be changed we live in different cities but close I dont understand why they sided with him hes in an unmarried relationship, drinks, and has violent temper I stillhave aprotection order, hes very good at manipulating what he wants I need to know what to do so this doesnt happen shes been with me since birth and hes been a "when he feels like it" father.

Ev - posted on 05/19/2016

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A guardian et litem is someone appointed by the courts that is assigned to the child to investigate the child's home life, needs, and also interviews the parents and child if applicable to get a sense of the situation. Then the guardian reports to the judge their findings and makes recommendations. The judge then takes that and your testimony and that of the father into consideration to make the best judgement based on that evidence for the child.

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