guilt is consuming me

Keli - posted on 06/18/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

4

0

1

Hi. My name is Keli. I have a 2 year old daughter and I have a son that I will be having via c-section in just 5 days. My and my boyfriend were just hit with the biggest blow I could ever have imagined could happen. My daughter was sexually abused by someone at her biological fathers house at her last visit which was just about a week ago. I am beyond myself with guilt. I filed CPS charges in the past due to suspected physical abuse but they were unfounded. Never could I have imagined it would go to this length. I feel like there was one thing I needed to do as a parent and that was to protect my child and I couldn't even do it. I did everything I could short of running away from the laws that kept me having to give her to him. The courts even told me they would flip custody during our last hearing before the sexual abuse. Her bio father even tried to set it up to look as if my boyfriend who has taken care of her full time since she was 4 months old had done this to her but he had her all weekend and what was done was far to fresh to have been him. I find myself so distracted from my everyday life and I have no idea how to cope with this especially the not knowing. I am so afraid he will somehow not be held responsible and she will have to go back. Thanks for listening.

5 Comments

View replies by

Keli - posted on 06/19/2015

4

0

1

O she was taken to the hospital right after she was returned from her visit. The doctors determined it happened in his care and CPS and investigators were called in. Now it is just a waiting game as to how is going to be charged is anyone at this point. He is not allowed to have her. My fear is that nothing will come of it and she will have to go back. I have always said the system waits for the worst before doing what it right for the child. During the last CPS case my worker even told me that they only reason why the case was unfounded was because of the lack of medical evidence from the hospital I took her to. I took her to a different hospital this time and it was such a big difference.

Arizona - posted on 06/18/2015

2

0

0

Keli, I'm new here and still learning my way, but i felt compelled to reach out to you. Please, first, your daughter needs you to be strong and composed. This is no more your fault than it is your daughter's. You have to be strong, smart, and fearless. If you're not, who knows what's next. How did you find tthis out? Do you know who did it? Do you know what was done? Depending on your answers, a trip to the pediatrician is in order. DFCS for the most part takes these things very seriously. Your pediatrician will take this very seriously. Who is the ex leaving his TWO YEAR OLD DAUGHTER ALONE WITH?That this could happen? Keep notes. Record phone calls. Ask who will be there. What are they doing? You do NOT have to tell him he's being recorded. Take pictures of your daughter before she leaves, and when she returns, take pics of injuries, or Indications. Have your lawyer ask for a guardian ad liteum. Until you get in front of a judge, follow the rules. You will hate it, but you have to. But be proactive and use the time to gather evidence. Work fast And smart. And if you cant, have someone you trust do it. Do not stop until this creep is in jail. I know you have so much going on, and what a nitemare. But you have to deal with it, or this poor baby will be scarred for life. You can do this. I am praying for you and your daughter.

Keli - posted on 06/18/2015

4

0

1

Thank you so much for your kind words. i know this is very fresh so the feelings I have are normal and I just have to work through them. I try my best to not get emotional in front of her because she has started to recognize when people are angry, sad, etc. Plus with the baby coming I'm sure my crazy hormones aren't helping. My daughter deserves more then to have this done to her. She's just a baby.

Danielle - posted on 06/18/2015

13

0

3

thats so sad to hear. never give up,he will get his day in due time. Don't blame yourself for his stupidity. Just let your baby know she's loved everyday. keep busy with family things and fun stuff about the upcoming baby and surround yourself in the positive even if its just for a few mins. good luck mama

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms