Guilt over saying something terrible to my son about his dad

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

Hi,
This summer i decided to give my son the opportunity to connect with his father. We flew to his country and stayed close by for a month. My son is 8 and hungering male guidance. I have not had the interest in being with another man for a few years now as I got pretty messed up and depressed from the relationship with his father which ended 5 years ago. He was being his usual dickhead self and all my suppressed rage started to surface. Rather than cause drama i managed to get 3 days to myself where i went for 3 days water only fast and meditation in the forest. i had hoped to have longer to process the intense feelings that were surfacing but his father cut my time short (Ive had 6 full days to myself in 3 years) when I collected my son I was feeling pretty much like I needed time to process but what to do. The subject came up of his father and i found myself saying that "i hated him so much i wanted to kill him" Now I feel so bad and sorry and wish I could turn back time. Sometimes being an exhausted single mum makes you do pretty stupid stuff. I now try to figure out how to somehow take back my words without messing up further.

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Dove - posted on 08/03/2016

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I figured. ;) I have an 8 year old son w/ a wicked temper and I couldn't even count how many times I've been told he wants a new mom or some other such 'insult'... lol I also know he never means it. It's just an immature and inappropriate way to express his anger... but pretty much every human on the planet (at least all the ones 'I' know) have done similar at one time or another.

Dove - posted on 08/03/2016

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Has your son ever been so angry at you (or someone else) that he said something he didn't mean? Most kids by 8 have at least a few times... Just explain it to him that when you have been close to someone that has upset you sometimes you say something that you really don't mean and you wish you could take back.

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