Had 6 kids with husband, pregnant again and hes threatening to leave me

Trinity - posted on 10/29/2013 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I have had my six beautiful children and have been married for 13 years, I found out I was expecting my seventh 4 months ago. now he's threatening to leave me.

14 Comments

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Laura - posted on 11/02/2013

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I am a mother of 5 kiddos and know the stress of a large family. I believe that pregnancy is an emotional time for a family and no major issues should be addressed at this time. I wonder if the two of you need a break away from the kids to enjoy the things you love most about each other and remember why you fell in love in the first place. If your husband is not abusive, never give up on your marriage. It's hard sometimes but it will all be worth it.

Lana - posted on 10/31/2013

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Did he ever want this many children? We're the two of you doing what it took to keep an ideal family size? He sounds massively overwhelmed and frightened. If the relationship is great other than this I would see if I could reassure him. 7 children is quite a bit took handle and pay for. What would make a man ditch a marriage after 13 years? Can you honestly see him being miserable enough to pay child support on SEVEN children? Their is much more to this story.

Julie A - posted on 10/30/2013

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I agree with Bek. I would NEVER put up with that. A child is a blessing Anyway you slice it. You say he has a mental health issue I'm sure that has alot to do with. Maybe he needs help with that. You're tough for putting up with that. I couldn't . True love doesn't threaten . Hope everything pans out

Jodi - posted on 10/29/2013

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Why did you tell him no, not to have the surgery for a vasectomy? Honestly, if neither of you wanted any more children, why??? Why wouldn't you agree to it?

Bek - posted on 10/29/2013

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What a top bloke!!! Show him the door- u don't need sum1 like that. We r never given anything we can't handle. Mite b hard but u can do it & WITHOUT HIM! Wishing u the best

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/29/2013

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What is confusing? You know that birth control (single method, such as the pill) is not 100% guaranteed, and it's always advisable to have 2 overlapping methods to be sure if you don't want to get pregnant.

If you and he agreed no more, you both should have been a bit more responsible about the whole thing. But, what's happened has happened, and it needs to be faced. The two of you need to get away from the other kids and have a rational discussion about this one, because you do have options such as adoption, etc. (I don't advocate abortions unless it's a case of medical necessity, incest, or proven rape)

Now, if he's already stressed because of personal situations, that will add additional drama, which is why you need to be away from the other kids to have an adult discussion. Would he consider counseling for his mental health issues? Would you go with him, if that would get him to go? Either way, you need to let him know that he's got a responsibility to all of the existing kids, plus this new one, and if he feels that leaving is the right thing to do, you won't stop him, but you WILL pursue support for the kids.

One question, though, if you both agreed not to have more, and he offered to get snipped, why did you refuse?

Trinity - posted on 10/29/2013

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I have been taking birth control and its hard on him because of his mum just passing away so I cant just let him leave me as he has a mental health issue where he could hurt people if he gets upset so I feel its my choice to be with him and even when he gets like this its still like we're the way we used to be. he has said though that if I want him to he will have surgery to stop us having children and I said no but its just so confusing

Ev - posted on 10/29/2013

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Then if you two had decided this already in advance, then why did the both of you not do something to keep it from happening. You both are responsible for this not just you.

Trinity - posted on 10/29/2013

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its because of the pregnancy we said after the twins were born no more
my family are all for me having more kids but when you're husband doesn't want more then I was bound to listen to him
he gets like this at the start of each pregnancy but hes never threatened to leave me. I have always felt it was because of the time I lost my baby during pregnancy

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/29/2013

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Was the child planned? Was it agreed upon by both of you that you'd add a 7th?

Trinity - posted on 10/29/2013

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its because of the pregnancy we said after the twins were born no more
my family are all for me having more kids but when you're husband doesn't want more then I was bound to listen to him
he gets like this at the start of each pregnancy but hes never threatened to leave me. I have always felt it was because of the time I lost my baby during pregnancy

Ev - posted on 10/29/2013

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Because of the new child? We need more information before we can help or give any kind of advice.

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