Has anyone been rejected by their own children, after serious selfish interference, by other adults?
Marion - posted on 05/14/2012
I'll be doing my best, to follow it all up.
I'll let you know if i have any luck, sure hope so.
Thanks again, for your understanding.
My best advice for you, from one who has had serious depression, is to make sure you get a proper diagnosis, (obviously, as i found out the hard way).
If you know in your own heart & body that something is really not quite right with you, don't be afraid to speak up. LOUD if you have to, & don't let others fob you off, as being just sooky, or a hypocondriac, or something.
There can certainly be mild depression, as they, (doctors) were telling me for many years, but because they didn't take it seriously enough, i had a full blown breakdown eventually.
At least then, i got the right diagnosis.
That, of course led to my twins going to stay with these god-parents, who ultimately deceived & betrayed myself & my children big-time.
It should have been a time to celebrate, as i was told i could recover well & get much better.
I certainly did do that, so that is why i'm so angry at these god-parents for denying me a chance,
to have a great relationship with my twins, particularly after i got well again.
You owe it to yourself, & your children to know for sure, how you are with your emotional health.
Marion - posted on 05/14/2012
Thanks for your feedback, & advice re doctors, & medical records in the US.
No, i am in Australia, so unfortunately, the requirements here are only 7 years.
That would have been great, otherwise.
I'm going to try to find where the treating doctor/psychiatrist is based now.
I do of course remember her name. I was told by the nearby hospital, that the clinic, where she was practising is not there now.
If i can find her, i'm really hoping she will remember me, & of course the Post Natal Depression, that she treated me for. I realise she would have treated many patients, but i'm still hoping, for something positive to happen for me, & my children.
Thanks again, i'll let you know if i find her etc.
Marion - posted on 05/13/2012
Yes, i have tried being as nice as i possibly can to my grown twins, (24yrs).
I have told them that i don't blame them for resenting me, & that i realise it's the fault of the god-parents, for deceiving them so badly, for so long, about me. The trouble seems to be, that when i speak out against their god-parents, my twins are so brainwashed, & have been so manipulated by them, that they just resent me even more for daring to suggest their god-parents could do such a thing.
I definately did try to locate my medical records, & the treating doctor/psychiatrist, from back when i was properly diagnosed, but because it was over 7 seven years ago, they have not kept those medical records. That really upset me, because there would have been such positive proof, of my Post Natal Depression.
It is incredibly frustrating, because basically my twins think i just made up some kind of story, to excuse myself, from being there for them, when they were younger. As i have said, i only found out for sure this time last year, that their god-parents, had never told them of my illness, when they had promised me to do so.
I do get very angry, sad, upset, frustrated, you name it, but i have to stay strong, because i still want to fight for my children, & for my proper rights, as their mum.
I can't bear to think, that they could go through the rest of their life, believing the lies & deceipt, from their god-parents. Especially the emotional damage that could already be done to them, unknowingly, for them to think that their own mum didn't want them, or care about them.
I hope you can stay strong too, cherish your children, i know they can be challenging sometimes, but they are precious, & they are yours. Your partner sounds as though he can be challenging too, at times. As long as you're doing the right thing, try to make sure he respects you. That's very important, as much as just saying they love or care for you.
Actually the best way to do that, is to have a really good healthy respect for YOURSELF, & then you'll be surprised, how it flow on to others, Do you already do that?
Cheers, for now, Marion
Tina - posted on 05/13/2012
That's terrible I feel so sorry for you. I've been suffering with depression I have 2 young babies. It's disgusting you didn't have good support. Some days I find it really hard to cope my partner can be mean but other days he can be nice. I could only imagine how devasted you must feel. It sucks but people just don't understand how real and how devastating depression is until they have been in that position themselves. My mum and her sister were in foster care for a while unfortunately my Aunty got adopted by them took their name. From what i've heard the main reason these people became foster carers was for the money because while my mum was living their she was basically made to do everything but these people have a way of manipulating kids it's terrible. I know my grandparents weren't great but it's still a sad situation. I couldn't imagine how I'd cope in your situation as bad as I feel sometimes I love my kids and if someone did that to me I'd be pretty angry. I could imagine you're pretty angry. I know these people are deceitful and corrupt but it doesn't sound like your kids will listen to that so the only thing I'd suggest is take the opposite approach and be nice to them although it would be extremely hard. Mainly just to get a relationship with your kids and try to mend a bridge somehow. Do you still have contact with the doctor that diagnosed you, if so maybe you can ask your kids to come along with you to an appoinment so they can hear it from your doctor and maybe they'll understand a bit more.
Marion - posted on 05/13/2012
I was 35 when my twins were born in 1988. Their dad & i were not married, but had been in a relationship for about 3years. He was about 9 yrs older than i, but was always a bit unsettled, & restless. He was not at all supportive throughout my pregnancy, & only stayed, for a short time after i came home with our son & daughter.
He went off with an old girlfriend, i was really devastated, as i'd been hoping & praying he would become more responsible & caring.
I did find coping right from the start very challenging, not so much physical, but emotionally.
Unfortunately i wasn't diagnosed properly for many years, but then finally found out i'd been suffering Post Natal Depression. That was when my son & daughter had reached 9 years of age.
Prior to that i was getting intermitent help from another parent couple, who i agreed to let become my children's godparents. They weren't related, just people i came to know, through a local Government Family Services Unit.
Their own children were all grown up. They did foster other children, but mine were predominantley as a private arrangement.
When i found myself becoming very anxious or depressed, they would take my twins for a weekend or sometimes a bit longer.
When i was finally diagnosed with Post Natal Depression, the new doctors/psychyatrists insisted i get a much longer term of help, to help me fully recover, as by then, i was in really bad shape.
The godparents were my main choice, as my own mum & dad i knew, would not have been able to cope.
I have always been a trusting sort of person, got that from my own mum. I truly trusted these other parents, (in their 50's then), to do the right thing by me, & my children.
They promised me to make sure they would very regularly remind my twins of the true reason, that they were living with them, & not with me, their own mum.
To tell them of my illness, & how much i loved them, & was merely doing everything to get better, & to have them back with me.
I only found out last year, by accident, from what my son told me, that the godparents NEVER told them anything, about the true reason, that they went to live with them.
Up untill then i always knew something was seriously wrong, about the godparents, but i couldn't properly prove it.
I had been getting negative feedback from my own twins, & the way they were treating me in general, for some time, & now wonder why, as the godparents apparently had simply allowed my twins to think i didn't want them, or care much about them.
I am positive now, that the godparents were all along selfishly manipulating & coersing my own twins, with lies & deceit, to turn them against me, for their own selfish gain.
At this stage they have succeeded, because my own twins, now 24 just don't seem to believe i even had such an illness. I truly did, & i'm extremely hurt & upset, as i did the best thing for them, at that time, so that they would have a stable environment, with people i thought i could trust. Only to have it all go so wrong.
I tried to organise mediation years ago, with the same godparents, when i first became suspicious, but they ignored the requests by the mediator organisation. I then tried to get legal aid help, to have any issues brought up in a family court hearing.
I was not granted legal aid help, because they told me, my case was not recognised as a top
priority, in their system.
So now, as it stands today, i do not get any recognition from my own twins.
We have fallen out even worse in the last 12 months, as i have dared to suggest, that their godparents are corrupt & deceitfull. I am at my wits end, very sad & very, very frustrated.
Tina - posted on 05/13/2012
Not me personally but a relative of mine. Her daughter wanted to move out of home just shy of 15. A friend of one of my relatives even being told not to get involved invited her to live with her. Her daughter moved in with this woman against her mums wishes this woman reckoned she was going have curfews yada yada and so on. Well we found out she was aloud to drink have boys over I seen her walking the streets all hours of the night.
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