Has anyone dealt with a competitive pregnant woman?

Audrey - posted on 04/04/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




Hello, I am new to this site and I am expecting my first child in October.
I am having a bit of an issue with a good friend of mine. We are both pregnant and expecting within a month of eachother. Ever since I found out I was pregnant I feel like my friend has been judging me and trying to compete with my pregnancy. I have distanced myself from her but it still bothers me because we were best friends. My husband and family think I am crazy and my hormones are going haywire, but I really do feel like there is a competitiveness there. I would appreciate any advice.

The other day my friend and I went to a Scentsy party, I told here I would meet her there because I was picking up a jumper the host offered me for a good price. My friend told me she didn't like walkers and jumpers because they were bad for the babies legs. I explained to her that I used both walkers and jumpers and so did my brothers and our legs are fine. She then said that was fine if I wanted children with bowlegs and what not. . . Is it me or was that harsh?
Another instance (sorry venting) She asked for help on FB with a nursery theme, so I gave her a few ideas. She shot every single idea down saying she was doing Monkeys and the only reason I am giving her ideas is because my mother keeps sending me monkey themed items and that is my theme. My mom likes monkeys but I never said it was my theme. I honestly don't know what to do I feel like I can't talk to her anymore and I just want to keep my distance. Has anyone else experianced this and how did you handle it?


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Amber - posted on 04/04/2011




It's amazing how competitive some people get when they become parents...lol.
She is definitely being competitive, IMO. The next time that she makes a comment like that, say something like "Ouch, that stung a bit. Can we try not to compete with each other and support each other instead?"
She might not realize that she's doing it, or that it's hurting you. If after you talk to her she still doesn't change, then it might be time for you to rethink the friendship. Unfortunately sometimes people grow apart.

Dora - posted on 04/04/2011




If it is really bothering you then try to talk to her about it. If nothing positive comes out of it then I am sorry to say you may have to walk away from the friendship. Friends should always be supportive of one another and not try to talk down to their friends. If there is too much negativity then you have to ask yourself is she really a friend?????? Also this is a time in you life that you should be surrounding yourself with people you love you and are happy for you. This is an exciting time in your life and no one should try to put you down.

Medic - posted on 04/04/2011




I would call her out. My best friend of 13 years can be really bitchy and when she is being bitch I tell her straight out. Same goes when I am being a big one. I want my friends to call me out of stuff just like I would call them out on it. But to actually answer your question I do feel that she is being competitive and maybe if this isn't what you are looking for in a friendship just cut your losses.

Danielle - posted on 04/04/2011




I suggest you get use to it, and start rolling with the punches.
This is just the beginning of the rest of your life.
Not even just from your friend, but every person who feels they can do your job better than you.

My advice is to pick your battles, and if she gets overly catty then just call her out. Remind her that there are things you two are going to disagree on, and thats the way the world works.

Just prepare yourself for it to get worse once your child is born. For the rest of his/hers life they will be forever compared to everyone else's child. It is a constant competition.
Its a shame that children can't just 'be' anymore, they always have to 'be' better.

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