Has anyone helped their older son get off of drugs. My son is 36 unemployed and after being off of Xanax and Percocet for six months he began using again. He is spiraling downward quickly. He has no insurance coverage and myself and my husband are retired and on social security.
Dolores - posted on 08/10/2013
Jess, thank you so much for responding. We are in the "tough love" stage which is breaking my heart. He lives with his fiancé in a home they are losing. They have been together for about ten years and went thru drugging together. He had given her an engagement ring which they eventually hawked for money. They both lost jobs because of experimenting with drugs. They decided to have a child ...?... And on July 4th our grandchild was a year old. He is a beautiful wonderful baby and I feel so sorry for him. My son grew up in a close knit family with vacations at the shore every year. Hw was a great son, he lifeguard ed thru high school, was a day and made money on his own. Thru help from my parents my husband and I were able to get him thru Drexel u where he graduated on the presidents list with a bachelors degree in business admin. Unfortunately my dad who he was extremely close to passed away and we had to move out of our hometown to accommodate my mom living with us because once dad died she was doing terrible. We moved to a nice home and took care of mom for 9 years till she left us at age 94. Meanwhile Ray landed a job at cent ant mortgage as a loan officer. He made a lot of money in a short time and admittedly made all the wrong. Choices in his life. He got involved with drugs. They bought a small home. He fell down stairs, injured his back, found a doctor who would prescribe Percocet and Xanax like candy and so it ll began.
Currently we believe he is getting only Zanax to relieve anxiety. She has become super mom and does take good care of the baby and was going to leave him because of his recent drug activity. I believe he is taking the drug to relieve the anxiety of the carnage of the life he has created...being on minimal unemployment, trying to pay car payment, insurance, getting her out because she is so bored in the house all the time, mom and dad telling him he's not welcome in their home in his current condition and telling him he will never be hired looking like he does. This is the most hurtful thing I have ever gone thru in my 64 years on this planet! I can't believe what has happened to our energetic, popular, sweet and fun-loving son.
We left it parked at him not coming here to stay though we have let him back to wash and clean up. i am thankful he is still clean. i am aware from reading of others troubles that stealing from us may be an issue and we have taken precautions. i have even taken our house key from him, which also hurts me badly, telling him he has caused us not to trust or believe him anymore because he has constantly lied about the drug use and has not, until very recently searched for a job. he was going to outpatient rehab three times a week and said that until he resolves his depression and anxiety he should not work! i guess its good to lose e everything you own to resolve depression?
Any advice you can pass along will be greatly appreciated.
Jess - posted on 08/09/2013
I'm so sorry to hear so many of these stories. I am an addiction and mental health counsellor and although I don't have all the details, it sounds like your son is relying on you. What many of my clients need (and have admitted to needing) is a bit of tough love. No money lending- we call this enabling behavior. You, by giving in to the manipulative ways, feed the addiction. Honestly, I'd look for family support groups. I know groups like AA, NA and CA have family member only groups where you can get advice from people who are going through it right now. A councellor's perspective may not be the best because he'll only chance when a) he hits rock bottom or b) he wants to. I truly wish you and your husband the best of luck and if you would like to chat more, please feel free to message me on here and I'll give you my email.
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