Has anyone potty trained with a child that does not "talk" yet?

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My daughter is not a "talker" yet.....meaning she is delayed in speech only but grasps the concepts of a daily routine, what is right or wrong, etc. I have tried potty training with her during the summer but we have had to stop due to her frustration levels rising. So I put her underwear away for when she is ready only problem is now she's showing signs of being ready to train again. She's even pulled out all the underwear I've put away and started trying to put it on. When I go to the bathroom myself she follows, sits on her potty, and helps mommy flush the toliet. Her daycare teacher also has noticed signs of readiness and has mentioned that they are willing to help me any way they can in the training process. Right now they have only been taking her to the bathroom to potty before nap and after nap to see if she's at least willing to learn.



When I stopped I thought to myself that we would wait to see what is said about her speech development before continuing because one of our problems was telling mommy she had to go to the potty. Now I'm not sure I should wait because I do not want to loose this spark of interest again.....my sisinlaw waited and now they are having a rough time with my nephew.



Any tips or tricks I can try with her, even the little ones, would greatly be appreciated!

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Caroline - posted on 05/19/2013

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id like help here too if this question board is still open ... I have a 3 year old that has no speech with autism,I really need info on how to go about potty training him also.... he is at school and they insist on him wearing proper pants not pull ups so therefore he is being changed everyday .... any tips he just seems to sit and wee himself or soil.

Tara - posted on 09/02/2009

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Well I have three little ones... My first 2 kidos were potty trained before they could talk much,my son was 19mths completely trained bed time and everything, my daughter was 21 mths by the time she was completely trained, and right now I am training our 16mth old. I think everyone has a different style of potty training which none are wrong or right just different, so you will have to find one that works for your family. What I did for my kids is once they started showing signs of interest, like taking off there diaper etc. I would strip them naked except for there shirt... and make sure they have a potty that they can rest there feet firmly on the ground and a place to rest there arms. The reason why I take there clothes off from waist down (when we are in the privacy of our own home of course) is so they are aware of what is happening... they will have a pee accident but they see where it comes from now and you tell them "you went pee yay" then point to the toilet and tell them "this is where it goes" and then sit them down on it even though they just went it is the principal of putting two and two together. I believe that the pull ups or training pants are confusing because it gives them the option to go in it... Just be encouraging... LOTS of praise, never get angry or use angry tones when there is an accident... because thats what it is.. an "accident", and dont give up.. it can sometimes be harder for the parent than the child =) hope this helps and good luck!!!

Donna - posted on 05/16/2012

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My son is now 6 years old and only says a few words due to being trached at 4 months old. We use sign language a lot. So one of the first signs I taught him was potty. I would start off by taking him to the potty and letting him sit there as long as he wanted to. Then I started putting him on it first thing in the morning and before he took his bath. I always used the sign for potty when asking him if he needed to go. Now he is 6 and tells us when he needs to go. He still has accidents because he is a kidney transplant and has to learn to control the large kidney he has. But I am proud of him. Keep watching the signs and use sign language every chance you get. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Katherine - posted on 09/03/2009

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The sooner you train the better! The older they got the harder it is. When my daughter turned 18 months. NO MORE DIAPERS. And I NEVER looked back. If a puppy can do it, so could she. Oh, and I took them away AT NIGHT TOO! It's way to confusing for the child to switch back and forth!



Three weeks of nothing but accidents were tough.  But then she started to get it. What I would do is set a timer for 20 minutes. Every 20 minutes I would sit her on the toilet. (the real toilet with a training lid). If she went, I would reward her. (M&M's -only one, stickers, etc.)



If she went in her pants, I would take her to the bathroom, tell her that it's not good to go in your pants, and I would make her have a time out IN the bathroom.



She never really TOLD me anything, she got to the point where she would say "poopoo" and it meant "I need to go." That's it. One word!



By the time she was 21 months, she had already been accident free for so long, I took away her thick training pants (real old fashioned training pants, NOT pull-ups) and let her wear big girl panties.



She is now 3 and 1/2. She goes all the time by herself and I don't even know. She goes, wipes, flushes, washes, etc. BY HERSELF. And has been for AWHILE!



Also, she only peed the bed about 4 times during the training. Yeah, it sucked, but so does feeding them in the middle of the night. The point I'm trying to make is, it's better for THEM if YOU are consistent. There is no such thing as the child "being ready" it's YOU that has to be ready-To be there for them!

Chastity - posted on 09/08/2009

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YES! You can potty train with a non-speaking child. My son, would always walk around pointing to his diaper and I would ask him, do you need to go potty? And he would point twice or do this little "dip" thing with his legs for yes. Even if they cannot speak, they have MANY ways they can communicate through body language. I started this with my first son at around 18 months and he was potty trained by 23 months. My second son has been showing interest since 16 months so I have been putting him on the toilet and we have had good luck so far! If there is no talking, watch the body language :)

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Edna - posted on 09/07/2009

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It seems she has already told you she is ready to be potty trained by her actions, go with it and let her help guide you. It sounds like she wants to mimmic what you do, that is good. I work with individuals who have multiple chalenges.

Grace - posted on 09/07/2009

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Hi Sharon,



My daughter i have trained her not to use the nappy since she was 3 months. Every morning she gave me a signed that she is going to toilet with her pushing kind sound. By 6 months in the day time no nappy at all only when she go to bed in order not to disturbed her sleep. & now she is 10 yrs. old. Then I got 7 months old baby boy this time & same thing since he was 3 months i started to trained him to use the potty & I do that everytime he woke up in the morning. So this time everytime he woke up & im still sleeping he gave a signed that he is ready to go to his potty by his kind of pushing sound ..like UHMM! So i knew what he want & everytime is successful. He get used to it now as well not to use nappy in the day time but i put on for him everytime he go to bed.



My experienced to my 2 children was great. I never have any hard time during i'm training them. I think the early the better. bec. nowadays children are very smart they learn quickly. In fact, my baby boy after his lunch he also gave me a sign that he is going to "Po" or pushing sound so i always pay attention on his reaction or his expression. Baby can tell you what they want anyway, especially if they are your own children.



Take your time, let her put her own underware.. then once he drink water after 15 mins incourage her to go to toilet or like playing with her going to toilet sing a song. Don't let her know you given up on her. Try to win your side. Ask her you also going to toilet for her to go with you. Stand beside her when she is setting down already don't stand infront of her esp. if she can seat by herself already in the children toilet. Make sure if she drink lots of water she must go to toilet every 15 mins or 30 mins if not successful. Then if she make her underware wet let her know that its not good explain to her to wear a wet underware will make her itch.



Enjoy training your daughter



Grace

Sonya - posted on 09/05/2009

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I have an 11 year old with Autism. There is a method of potty training, according to some Autism experts. It is a little difficult and very time consuming. First you have to determine the child's internal schedule, every one has one, and the way to do this is to take the child to the potty every 20 min. Let them sit on the potty for a few minutes and see what happens. Keep very good documentation of what the result was when you carried him to the potty. Then you can build a schedule according how often he needs to use the potty. I did this with my daughter, we actually spent one solid week in the potty, we did everything there (ate, watched tv, etc..). It was working pretty well until she started school and they tried to put her on their schedule and it all fell apart.

Charity - posted on 09/04/2009

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I would wait until she is talking more. My son potty trained at 21 mos and has had maybe 3 accidents since then. He's almost 4 now! It is harder when she's in day care. You want to be consistent with the teacher so she's not confused.

Tamara - posted on 09/03/2009

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She's ready and interested. so Say "lets go potty" and put her on. the key is your phrasing and your persistence. reward her when she goes ...clapping dancing singing. when she doesn't just say we'll try again. eventually she'll start feeling the urge to go. She will also shake her head when she doesn't want to go. mostly be patient and keep trying. sometimes ti takes 3-4 months of persistence.

Jessica - posted on 09/02/2009

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I have a 3 year old that has no speech with autism,I really need info on how to go about potty training him also,if anyone has any tips please let me know.

Charlie - posted on 09/02/2009

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I have used baby signs with both my eldest girls and that has really helped with all sorts of communication. I did start it from a very early age but I wonder if teaching your daughter a sign for needing the toilet as well as you saying the words to her when she signs would help. It could be something to try. the sign for the 'potty' is tapping their side or bottom. You could make up your own sign too which she can get to know.

Christy - posted on 09/02/2009

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I think potty training and the question WHEN can be tough. My daughter is 18 mo. and I think she too is ready (is aware of her body and the bathroom) but since she is young, I didn't want to push it (and am currently in the same wondering place you are). With my older daughter, her teachers at childcare also said they thought she was ready - the encouraged us to get underwear for her and be serious about it (taking her to the potty and having her sit there, etc.) she potty trained quickly (that was at the age of 2) with our commitment and intentional focus on it. For me, I get busy and it is "easier" to do the dipper thing so I think sometimes it is about our mindset to "just do it" vs. vasalating on if they are ready or not and going back and forth --- it sounds like you tried it and hit frustration and took a break (smart) AND it might be time to give it a try again and see what happens. If she catches on and progresses great. If frustration increases, just wait. All my friends have said to NOT FORCE IT. But they all say, when you try it - DO IT with commitment, not 1/2 way. The other thought, with the speech thing, we and our child care center used sign language for potty and poop - this helped my older daughter in the process (because she thought it was fun) even though she could talk.

Shannon - posted on 09/02/2009

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One thing that I learned after potty training 3 little ones is that you are better off with a step up to the toilet and if they are worried about falling in you can get those seats that sit over the toilet seat. This way they feel like they are actually using the toilet, and they feel like a big kid. Another thing is not worry about it, I tried all of the tricks with my first one so that I could get her trained in time for the pending baby, it was way more work and in the end didn't happen any faster than when I just took a more relaxed approach with my other two. Treats as reward, even a chocolate chip if they try and go, ask them alot or set up a routine of bathroom times like at daycare. I don't think that they need to be verbal to start using the bathroom they just need to be able to recognize that they are going. I have also heard that cloth diapers work well because they really feel it when they go pee in them. Good and luck don't worry, they all learn eventually.

Mary Kay - posted on 09/02/2009

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My 22 year old daughter was barely talking when she was potty trained. She did have accidents though. Her sister was 3 and a talker before she was potty trained and she never had accidents.

Marilyn - posted on 09/02/2009

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Hi Sharon,

There are other ways children communicate besides verbally. My grandson is 16 months old and he ocassionally will ask to go to the potty by pointing to it. He will also say pisssssssss which is the sound he makes when he goes. He will then "go" and claps his hands as he goes. He does not use the potty all of the time. What is important to remember is this is a skill like all other skills and it takes time. Children do not have to have good speech skills in order to use the toilet; they just have to be know their body signals (know when they are going to go), be able to control their muscles, and WANT to use the potty! Good luck!

Marilyn - posted on 09/02/2009

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Hi,

I'm not sure if your child is just interested in what you are doping on the toilet and what the potty is all about or if she is really ready for potty training. She has to be aware of her body and be able to control her muscles. How old is she? It does not hurt to explain all of this to her.

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