have custody of 3 yr old granddaughter, explaining why mom is in jail and is also bipolar/borderline personality disorder.

Patti - posted on 09/26/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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My daughter is in jail for theft and under the influence of drugs because of an addiction to inhalants (dust off computer cleaner). Doctors and therapists call it "meth in a can". Anyway, She was smart enough to give her step dad and I custody of her little one, otherwise Social Services would have stepped in.
I am so torn, listening to the little one cry or get angry and act out after talking to her mother on the phone or visiting her mother via tv/intercom at the jail or phone calls to her at home. How can I better explain to her that her mom made bad choices and will be gone for a long time? We tell her that her mom made bad choices and is in a place where people have to go when they are grown ups that made bad choices. We also tell her that her mom's brain doesn't work correctly either" (she is used to mom being gone for 2 weeks, to 30 days. in mental hospitals or short term jail). The little one cries, carries a photo of her and her mom, saying she misses mama . We also need figure out what to say when the little one acts out. Do we say she made bad choice? then she asks if she is going where mama is when we say she needs to make better is she is not listening or getting into trouble.
So can someone please offer some advice please? BTW, Therapist within 100 miles think that she is too young to see a counselor.
Thank you so much for any help you can give!

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