Having A Baby At The Young Age Of 16

Bambii - posted on 10/01/2014 ( 19 moms have responded )

2

0

1

I would like to know your pinions if I should have a baby at this age. Yes, you can be brutally honest, I need that. For some examples of pros and cons. I just need to know because its been on my mind all month. But please don't have such mean comments.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kiah - posted on 10/01/2014

6

0

2

Oh man, nothing could have ever prepared me for how HARD being a parent is. I am 29 years old, and my husband and I have a 2.5 year old beautiful little girl. But becoming a Mommy has been the most mentally and emotionally challenging thing I have ever done in my entire life. And many times physically challenging as sleep just doesn't happen anymore. I have been stretched and strained to my limits and beyond. Just when I had decided the infant phase had to be the toughest, we entered the toddler years. Yes, becoming a Mommy is also the best thing that ever happened to me. But it is NOT glamorous. To have someone relying on you 24-7 is a heavy heavy responsibility. One that I am thankful I waited to take on until I was in my mid-twenties because I can't imagine the younger me at 16, or even 18 or 20 years old being a Mom. I would not have been as nice to my little girl because I would've been so selfish. Back then I was able to travel and live in four different countries, road trips with my college girlfriends, and sleep in on Saturdays because I had no responsibility. I'm so thankful I had those opportunities and memories. And I'm thankful I gave my best to my daughter - me as an older parent.

Raye - posted on 10/01/2014

3,761

0

21

My advice is not to get pregnant.
PRO: You may have more energy at this age to keep up with everything involved in raising a child.
CON: You are not mentally mature enough to raise a child. You could be the smartest girl in the world, but you are a child yourself. You may feel grown up, but believe me you have a lot more to experience before you should consider raising a child.
CON: It's HARD! You can't fathom how hard until you're living it.
CON: You are not financially stable enough to support a child. You should wait until you graduate, have a good job and can support yourself and your child and can pay for: food, shelter, clothes, bills, daycare/babysitter, etc.
CON: Your parents probably won't be happy. Maybe you don't care what they think, but you will probably need a lot of help from them, so you should care.
CON: Even if you have a good relationship with the baby-daddy now, it probably won't last. Most young men don't want the responsibility at such a young age, and it is a lifelong responsibility. If you end up hating the baby-daddy, you still have to deal with that person for the entire life of your child. It 's not easy for you, the kid, or any other person you find yourself in a relationship with down the road. I'm a step-mom dealing with my husband's ex, and she's a nut-job. But she's in our lives forever because of the kids.
CON: You may miss a lot of school and have to catch up. An education is important for yourself, and the welfare of your child. The better educated you are, the better job you'll be able to get, the better you can provide for your family.
CON: You may lose your friends because you have to care for the baby and can't go out.
CON: Social Services will probably be involved to make sure the child is being raised in a stable environment. You could have the baby taken away if your home life is not good.
CON: You'll miss what should be a carefree time of your life. Once you have a child, your first priority should be doing what's best to raise your child. They come first.
CON: The difficulties you face as a young mother may affect the mental welfare of the child. They will have to live with the wounds of your mistakes.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/01/2014

13,264

21

2015

What is your financial situation? Can you confidently say that you are financially prepared for a baby? How are you planning to support yourself, and baby? Were you planning on working for a living, or applying for assistance?

How about your social life? Do you enjoy outings with your friends frequently? If you have a child, those outings stop. You are a parent, and need to be one.

Are you finished with secondary school (HS)? Do you have a diploma, or GED? If not, what are your plans for finishing your education? How do you plan to do that with a baby on your hip? It will require you to pay someone else to care for the child so you can finish.

How about post HS education? Have any plans for that? You will need to know that initially obtaining a bachelor's degree is difficult for a young adult who does NOT have the additional worry of supporting themselves and a child...do you have what it takes to get through the gamut with a child?

How about the potential father? What are your plans about that? You do realize that, ideally, two parents make a better team than one. Are you going to be able to commit yourself fully to a relationship, knowing that neither of you are probably mentally ready for the responsibility?

No, you should not get pregnant at 16. There is no valid reason that you could come up with to convince me or any other rationally thinking adult that this is a good idea.

Why do you want a baby at 16 in the first place? Do you think it's 'fashionable'? 'Fun'? Please think about that, and let me know your answer.

Ev - posted on 10/05/2014

8,008

7

918

I have to agree with Gena, she was just trying to help you see what its really like to have a baby no matter the age, but it is a lot harder for a girl your age to have a child and raise him or her. My post might have been hard to read as well but that is the thing with child rearing. I think you also need to sit down and write your own list of pros and cons of having a child at this age. Do some research for this too. Just type in teen mothers or teen pregnancy. You should come to a lot of things on it. Also, in the links look for .org or .edu so that you can get the real scoop on things. Anything with a .com is anybody's guess as to how true it is.

19 Comments

View replies by

Tamera - posted on 12/04/2014

3

0

1

Well Bambii, it is optional and it is hard! I am 18 now and engaged! It depends on where you are willing to go and where you will like to grow up and have extreme responsibilities! I was once where you are! I got pregnant at 16 and it was planned but it was extremely hard because I couldn't have the same friends and everything in life in your eyes changes. I had a baby and went right back to high school Senior Year. I went to home coming and all I could think of is that I miss my baby! That being said I didn't go to prom because I know I wouldn't have fun but now I look at all my friends pictures wishing I had that experience. My opinion is to wait until you have lived life as much as you can until you are so positive that you want a baby, you don't have to ask anyone else for their opinion.

Gena - posted on 10/05/2014

303

1

655

My post was also if you were not pregnant,but trying to have a baby at that age. If you are already pregnant then my response would be different..not that it isnt hard work,but not that it would encourage you to have an abortion!

Frances - posted on 10/05/2014

1

0

0

Hi bambii,I just signd up so hopefully I am doing this rite...lol .wow I think ur awesum for having the courage to post wat u have and i want u to plz realise that u have no reason to expect nor accept any negative comments or disrespectfull judgmental opinion from any other person is exactly wat u dnt need a.t.m and

Sarah - posted on 10/04/2014

9,604

0

22

Wow, I did not infer that you, Bambi, may already be pregnant and contemplating whether or not you should have a baby? I responded with my opinion assuming you were considering trying to get pregnant. If, I misunderstood, I am sorry. My response to a girl of 16 already pregnant would be different.
I do stand by my post, that parenting under the best of circumstances is very hard. Maybe we can all offer better advice if we know what's up? Have you already conceived and are weighing your options?

Dove - posted on 10/04/2014

12,132

0

1353

Good point, Tamara. I was under the impression that she was wondering if she should get pregnant... not keep a pregnancy that is already here...

Gena - posted on 10/04/2014

303

1

655

Having a baby is hard work,nights where you are exhausted and all you want is sleep but little one wont let you.Everything changes and even "normal" things like taking a shower or going shopping can turn into a real task. Holidays arent even the same anymore,its difficult to travel with a baby/small child. If you go to the beach for example you wont be able to relax. Try cleaning the house with a small child..its not easy. Or when baby is teething and fussy. Its all hard work. A baby is your responsibilty 24/7..even if somebody is looking after the child,you have to be on standby.
The other thing is a child costs alot of money! Everything you need in the beginning but it doesnt end there. A baby grows fast and you need to get new clothes,new bed,new bedding,new shoes (crazy how many cuz the foot grows so fast) childrens showergel,shampoo,suncreme etc etc. You really need to be financialy stable.
I think you should enjoy your teen years, enjoy going to the movies,maybe travel if you can.Get school finished,or work for awhile. Having a child is a blessing,i love my son like crazy! But if i were you i would wait. You still have alot of time!

Tamra - posted on 10/04/2014

5

0

1

Sweetheart with my love and prayers that will be said for you and this little one: the question shouldn't be, " should I have this baby or not," but it should be, "How can I give this baby the best future possible?" Whether that be adoption or you getting help to raise the baby, you decide that. This baby, your first child, deserves to live, sweetheart! My husband's mom conceived him at 16. What if he wasn't here? I can't imagine. I have heard the emotionally turmoil from those who killed their babies through abortion... My advice is to go to a free-faith based pregnancy crisis clinic and you can see your baby and his/her heart ( visible at 6 weeks) and more depending how far along you are, get help, and have them pray with if you like. You are doing the right thing by asking these questions and trying to do the right thing. Choose life! My first was an unplanned pregnancy. Everything changes when you see your baby for the first time!!! All my love to you and I'll be praying too! (My daughter is 7 now planning her 8th birthday party this month!)

Ev - posted on 10/01/2014

8,008

7

918

And Lori that is great that she was able to accomplish what she did with your help. Not a lot of girls get support from family or good support from family. Even some loose their friends after getting pregnant. Life as they know it does end and something else takes its place. What they do not seem to get is that a baby does not stay a baby forever and the cuteness wears off. Its hard to raise a child at this age and be able to make it out better than poverty. Some girls do not think they have what it takes to do so because that is what they have been lead to believe as they grew up. I have a niece that is in the cute stage of having a baby. She thinks its cool. She still deals with all nighters, sickness and such but she loves to go and do things with all her little friends who have babies too. They act as though they are still in high school and most of them are almost 21.

Lori - posted on 10/01/2014

126

0

0

now - if you are planning on getting pregnant on purpose - wait, it'll happen when it is supposed to.
have to agree with the old fashioned - no sex at that age either.

Lori - posted on 10/01/2014

126

0

0

my daughter got pregnant her senior year in high school. I remember when she told me. she told me it was the "end of the world" and I corrected her...it was the end of the world that she knew but the beginning a brand new one.
I adore my granddaughter and will never think of her as anything but "meant to be".
my daughter finished high school on time and attends classes for her cosmetology license. I am proud of her for choosing a more difficult path but sticking to her core beliefs - that all life is beautiful no matter how it comes about.
but, then again, once my daughter was pregnant, there really was no other choice but life for us.

Ev - posted on 10/01/2014

8,008

7

918

I have to agree with these ladies.

1) Your life as you know it know will cease to exist. That baby is going to take your all. You won't have time to go out with friends or even hang out with them often. You will not be able to sleep in when you want to. You'll have to take baby with you everywhere you go pretty much. There will be no extras for you because baby will take over in the needs department.

2) The education you are dreaming about right now be it college, tech school, or another type of school will fly out the window. You might not be able to handle having a child and school especially if baby is sick a lot. Your high school education will be ify at best and getting to graduate might take longer or you will do it by GED.

3) Raising a baby is different than being out among everyone where they will say how cute your child is and so on. Raising a child is a 24/7, 365 days a year routine now. You take second seat to this child's needs. You have to learn how to teach your child how to behave, how to do things, and so on. You are going to be responsible for making sure baby is healthy and going to all check ups, getting immunized, and that does not count the trips to the doctor for being sick. You are going to have all nighters when baby is teething, sick, or just plain not wanting to sleep. You are going to have to have finances coming in from somewhere to make sure you have all the things the other ladies listed in other posts. You are going to also have to have support and what happens if your parents do not do that?

4) Have you thought about pregnancy and birth? Yeah, the baby grows inside and all but you have to see a doctor for periodic visits during the pregnancy to make sure you both are healthy and do not have medical issues to deal with. If you end up with medical issues it can mean bed rest totally or staying in the hospital until birth to make sure you have that bed rest. It means taking medications that the doctor allows you to take. You have to eat healthy. When it comes to birth, do you realize how much pain you are going to be in from labor? I am not trying to scare you but it does hurt A LOT. And unless you have a tolerence to pain or can handle it after talking yourself into that, its not fun. What if you have a medical issue and have to have a C-section? It takes a long time after that to heal from a C-section before you feel up to much. If you have a natural birth you heal up a bit faster but you are not going to be like you were before. Pregnancy changes your system a lot. Do you know what an epidural is? Do you know what it is used for?

I think you need to ask yourself all these questions but the one I am most interested in is:

Why do you want a baby at 16? What do you think the advantage of having a child at this age is? Are there other girls your age having them at school or that you know?

5) One more thing: Statistics show that children born of teen mothers for the most part live in poverty all their lives and even after they move on their own. They lack for so many things that even their education is not as good. They do not learn well because of the environment that they live in. They most likely live in federal housing, live off food stamps, and other assistance. Do you want that for your child? I know some girls who had babies as teens did do well and they had a plan and stuck to it. They are doing well now even. They did not live in poverty with their kids and their kids are also doing well and in school. But the majority of girls who have babies young end up living in poor conditions and with limited resources such as money to do what they need to or want to.

Think incredibly hard on this one.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/01/2014

13,264

21

2015

Bambii, all of these responses have excellent points. Please, CAREFULLY CONSIDER!

Sarah - posted on 10/01/2014

9,604

0

22

Even under ideal circumstances; I had a solid marriage, a college degree, a nice home, family support, financial stability.....with all of that having a baby was HARD. It is the hardest job a ever had, and it never ends. Oh sure there are great things about having a baby, but at 16? I think the risks, hardships and sacrifices you will face far outweigh the benefits. The previous posts list many excellent questions, that you should really truly have answers for BEFORE you even consider becoming a mother.

Dove - posted on 10/01/2014

12,132

0

1353

Should you PLAN to? No... Having a baby is rough at any age, but as a teenager? Have you graduated from high school? Are you living on your own working a full time job and paying all of your bills on your own w/ enough money to spare for diapers, childcare, baby clothes and supplies? Will the father of the baby stick around for him/her for the next 18+ years? These are just a small handful of the questions you need to ask yourself... there are many, many more things to think about and have a plan for that I can't even think of at the moment... and I've been a parent for 13 years. lol

Personally I don't even think kids should be having sex at 16... but I know my moral standards are in the minority in this world. Now, IF you do happen to become pregnant... it is doable, but your future children deserve the BEST start in life that you can give them... and at 16 it is highly unlikely that you are capable of that.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms