Having a difficult time letting only child go

Barbj - posted on 06/27/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My only child, a daughter is almost 16. She's a great young lady, I wouldn't change a thing about her and I am so proud of the person she is becoming. My problem is that I have spent the past 16 years raising her, guiding her, just enjoying her and although I know its best for her and she's ready, I'm feeling lost about what my role is now that she is becoming so independent. I encourage her to go out with friends, volunteer, apply for a job, and she's attending classes at a private college this fall even though she is just beginning her junior year in high school. I feel like I've done my job raising a compassionate, funny, smart girl but now what? On the outside, she see's me as happy that she's spreading her wings, but on the inside, I'm sad and lost and not sure what my purpose is if its not raising her. Does anyone else feel this way?

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Barbj - posted on 07/01/2014

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Thanks Jodi! I know that its a great time to rediscover myself, it's just much easier said than done. Many of my friends can't wait until they have their homes to themselves again. They look forward to not having to schedule their lives around their kids, but I think the parents of only children find it a little more difficult. As my daughter got older, nothing stopped me from having hobbies or a carreer, I always just felt like time was flying and I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could before she became her own self sufficient person. Now that that time is here, I guess I'm just feeling sad that my job raising a child is ending even though, like you said, a new relationship with her is beginning. Thank you again for your response, I'm getting there!

Jodi - posted on 06/27/2014

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It's time for you to live your life. Yes, I understand how you feel in some way, as my oldest is almost 17 and spreading his wings, and I often wonder where it went. But I have a job I love, my husband (my son's step father) and a fulfilling life of my own. You need to start focusing on yourself and exploring what you want to do now. You aren't losing her. Your relationship with her is changing, and this will be lifelong. You need to find a new purpose. Find a career you can focus on. Or a hobby.

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