HAVING ANOTHER BABY?!

Erin - posted on 02/01/2010 ( 117 moms have responded )

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I just want to get other moms advice?! I have a 10 month old and we are thinking about trying for another baby in a few months by the time the next baby is due our son will be 2. I want to her from other moms if they think its easier or harder to have kids so close in age?

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Connie - posted on 02/02/2010

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My kids are about 4 1/2 years apart. My son is 9 and daughter just turned 5. I totally enjoyed the time spent with my son...for me it was the best thing. I felt that my time with with him soley were the most precious years. As he turned 4 he got to be part of the exciting experience of having a new baby. When my daughter arrived, my son just started kindergarten and that one on one time with her was the best. Now they are the best pals ever and truely enjoy eachothers company. Best wishes!

Eve - posted on 02/01/2010

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i feel lucky that my daughter will be 5 by the time i have my baby in july. she is ready to help with clothes and keep a eye on him/her. i think back when she was young and im glad i had all that time with her, i never thought my kids would be this far a part but im very glad i waited as long as i did

Lin - posted on 02/01/2010

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im in the same position as you but have already started trying to get pregnant cause i dont want there to be too big of an age gap either. both my sisters had two close in age and i use to think are they mad?how do they cope? etc etc. both my sisters told me that your first baby is actually harder than having two cause by the time your second one comes your more relaxed about the baby things 2nd time round. both their first children were 2 and 2 and a half and they said by then they were at the age where they wanted to help with things with the baby making it easier cause they were always occupied with them and the baby. they recon its the same just time gets in the way was the only problem they found like for example before leaving the house would take longer than if you just had the one like before cause you have to prepare stuff for two. and things like that. they both told me that by the time the second one came around the eldest were out of bottles and nappies so it was just the same really carrying that on with the new baby. they both said it was the best thing they did. if they are telling me lies i will kill them both cause it may be to late to change my mine as i could be pregnant haha. all i can say is when i look at there two kids each and see them together regardless of what the truth my be i just see that with out each other they would be totally lost and when i think of myself and my brothers and sisters and how close we all were and still are as adults and to be honest with out them i wouldnt have many people i can call true friends then i say bring it on. even if it is hard isnt it going to be worth it. i have 2 sisters one older and one younger we are close in age and never short of friends and never alone surely even for our babies sake surely thats got to be worth it all the more. but remember all this is coming from someone who maybe pregnant again already and has no going back now. so wish me luck lol

Nikki - posted on 02/01/2010

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We are planning the same way your are, we want them close, so they grow up together I have talked to a lot of moms who says the closeness eliminates most of the jealousy b/c the older one is still so young. Plus we figure if we are going to be running around we might as well do it all now, that way when they are out of diapers I never have to think about them again, they will start school close together and I can go back to work sooner. My husband and his sis are 2 years apart and best friends, my brother and I are 4 and it took a long time til we were one the same page, we were in our twenties when that happened

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Julie - posted on 07/08/2011

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yep I think so,mind you the early years are hectic,my first 3 are 22 and 14 months apart,I wont lie to you and say it was always easy,I then had a 3 and a 4 year gap,my eldest is now 18 next is 16 and next 15 all into ther own stuff,Im so sorry I left such a gap with the next 2,if I could do it again I would only leave 2 years between all of them!

Sheila - posted on 02/18/2010

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me myself i have found that it was easier,when they were closer at age.My boys were 2 years apart,they enjoyed each other,when they were little.Had someone to play with,and kept them each occupied.But sometimes,for me,it was hard,cause one child was ready before i got the baby ready.Also trying to push a stroller and watch out where my other son went ,was hard.Especially if you go for a walk on your own.No one there to help you.

Sheila - posted on 02/18/2010

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me myself i have found that it was easier,when they were closer at age.My boys were 2 years apart,they enjoyed each other,when they were little.Had someone to play with,and kept them each occupied.But sometimes,for me,it was hard,cause one child was ready before i got the baby ready.Also trying to push a stroller and watch out where my other son went ,was hard.Especially if you go for a walk on your own.No one there to help you.

Glenda - posted on 02/15/2010

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if u r a stay at home mom and u r finacially stable, i think that would be a god idea. but if both perants work fulltime it will be a task.

Kylie - posted on 02/14/2010

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hi erin, i have two daughters who are 20 months apart. When the girls were young it a bit of a challenge, two nappy changes etc. Now that they are older 8 and 9, it is great, they are the best of friends and i think they will always be close, they also share the same interests and clothes, of course this is only good if the kids are same sex. I thin it is good to hav them close. Good luck. kylie

Tracey - posted on 02/09/2010

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we are trying for another baby at the moment our little girl is 2 years8months we have been trying since she was 1yr old as i wanted them close together so i would say it will be fine and go for it!

Emily - posted on 02/07/2010

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Hi! I think you should have them whenever you want to and when you think it is right. I just hate seeing all these people that want more and more babies to fill some kind of void in their life or to get "more money" from the govt. or whatever. If you want them close in age, start NOW. It took us a year to conceive our first, and were trying for a second and have been for 6 months now. We wanted one born in 2010, but if we don't get pregnant this month or possibly next month there is no chance in that, we thought it would be faster or else we'd have tried for another sooner. I guess the time will come, when the time is right. Goodluck!

Debbie - posted on 02/07/2010

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hi there is 10 1/2 months between my two, it wasn't planed that way and before Spencer was born I did think that it wasn't fair on Addison, but when I see them play together I know that everything will be ok. It is very hard work at times, then again when theres just one its very hard work at times to. I have a friend who has 4 years between her two and had a lot of problems with the older one. good luck with what ever you do

Lucy - posted on 02/07/2010

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We decided we were ready for the next baby when our first was only 4 months old. My oldest son is now 19 months and his little brother is 5 months old. It's been lovely having them so close together, as they share toys and already play with each other. I was really worried that Michael would become jelous when the new baby was born, but we encourge him to kiss him goodnite, and he brings us nappies and gets covered in Sudocream when we change Kayne, he pats his back with me when I'm burping him, and loves to help rock the buggy. The key will be to get your 2 year old joining in with the baby, instead of telling him off for going too close. Make it a positive experience. The only thing I found hard was that for the last 2 months of my pregnancy I couldn't lift Michael up when he wanted a cuddle, or had hurt himself, and I was sooo tired. But it's worth it, and I know that my beautiful boys are gona be a right pair when they grow up. If you really struggle once the second one is born you could look into hiring a Doula to help you. Look on DoulaUK for registered Doulas. I don't think it makes a difference how close together or far apart in age your children are, each comes with advantages and disadvantages and every family is different, so go with what your heart tells you. Hope this helps :)

[deleted account]

I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month old. I don't think life is anymore difficult than just having one child. Except mornings aren't so well. They both wake-up starving and demand to eat emediatly. It's kind of hard to make cereal and bottles and whatever else while one baby is screaming, and one is pulling at my PJ's and I'm still out of it because I just woke up hungry too. I was lucky that my daughter potty trained so easily, I had her out of diapers before her 2nd BDay, so I wouldn't have two kids in diapers. I def think it is good to have them close in age. They won't know life without each other, they will be able to play with each other, and as they grow bigger they will always be pretty much on the same page with one another.

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2010

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after having three girls in 4 years, i then had a break and have a 3 week old son. the age gap between my third and fourth was six years and i must say i am enjoying this time more than the busy time i had with my third child as the girls are all older, more independant and i dont think that having kids close togeather is always a good idea after actually doing it.

Nicky - posted on 02/06/2010

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I think it is all up to you. My sons are 4 years apart and I think it was perfect. My older one understood to be careful and is a big help now ( now 6 and 2 years old) when I want to take a shower or something and he is watching his brother for that time or keeps him busy while I am cooking. Without me telling him, just because he is the older brother and proud of it. Especially with my little one living the terrible twos like no other! It is all up to you though. Hope this helps you a little.

Michelle - posted on 02/06/2010

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My kids are 25 months apart. Everyone told me to have them close in age so they would have each other to play with. Although, that is true, it is only true now. They are now 4 and 2. When my daughter came along, my soon had just turned 2 a month earlier and he did not take it well. It was a very tough first year together. But, things have gotten much better. The only advice I would give you is, let it happen when it is suppose to happen. Whether that is right now or next year.

Cierra - posted on 02/06/2010

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My kids are 19 month apart ( I got pg with my daughter when my son was 10 months old- we weren't trying for her but it was a pleasant surprise) and even though it cna be tough at times, I love having them close in age, they're not far enough apart in age to forget what having a baby is like and hopefully still have a lot of the baby accessories...The difficulties of it can be that both kids want your attention at the same time and my son didn't understand that mommy needed to spend a little extra time with the new baby but that i still loved him...i tried to include him in helping with caring for my daughter (helping with diaper changes, feeding, etc...) as often as possible so he didn't feel so left out, my son had just learned to walk as well and so I had to juggle a newborn and a toddler who had just learned to walk which was difficult at times...The best suggestion I have is to either invest in a moby wrap or make one yourself (very easy to do, jsut get 5-6 yards of a jersey knit material and watch demos on how to tie it) it was my lifesaver with my daughter who thought she had to be attached to me 24/7...it allowed me to aply with my son adn spend time with him and have my daughter close to me without hindering what i needed to do...she is 15 months old now and I still use the moby wrap with her...good luck!

[deleted account]

my boys are 13 mos apart, not planned that way lol.. but nevertheless has worked out nicely so far.. they're 2 and 1.. i like the closeness in age.. they are on the same level with most things and the 1 yr old has even done some things a lil earlier than the first did.. they enjoy playing together and helping each other.. fight a lil too but nothing too horrible

Angela - posted on 02/06/2010

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My close friend has two children 11 months apart. She said it was a horrible, horrible time as her body hadn't healed and her oldest was still a baby himself. Now that they're 3 and 2 she said it's better.



My mum had my sister when I was 19 months and she said it was like having two babies.



Don't forget it can take up to 2 years for a woman's body to completely recover from childbirth. If you do it too soon you may ruin your ab muscles and get that unsightly tummy flab we're all so "blessed" to have after bub!



All the best to your growing family!

Katie - posted on 02/06/2010

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When my oldest son was 4 I had my second son. With them being so far apart in age my 4 year old was jealous and started throwing temper tantrums and dont even get me started on the separation of toys!!! They are now 5 and 18 months...Both will have a birthday in August when we are do with baby #3. I think that us having this one closer to my youngest sons age will help dramatically!!! Everyone I know that has had children close together the kids have a good bond...My nephew is 15 and his brother is 7 and they constantly fight and bicker and I think it is because of the age difference!!!

Nadine - posted on 02/06/2010

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It is undoubtedly hard! But it would be hard to start again when your first is a little older and you have got out of "baby" mode. I have 3 - all under 4 and it is exhausting - but when they understand each other so well and are lovely together (even when fighting) - just go for what you want. It is all hard work!!

Ingrid Maria - posted on 02/06/2010

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Hi... Go for it..I do think its easier..... just think abaout your kids wnhen they are older...they are going to have lots of thing in common..not hust birthday parties but also friends....And trust me is going to be easier for both of you.. I have a 3 year old and two of 1 1/2...at first it was crazy, but know they play together..and the mosf important thing of all you will not forget all of the baby stuff...right know you are used to be waking up in the night, going to the doctor and the traditional sickness that babis have... Think you just going to be carring a diaper bag for three years...then everything its easier.... my advice GO FOR IT!!! I hope both of them are the same gender...that also makes a big diferrence.....

Ainsley - posted on 02/06/2010

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oh .... and i dont believe that it is our childrens job to HELP with the next child.... just because of a larger age gap...... if its our 'adult' desicion to have another it is our job not our older kids job to look after the baby .... let our kids be kids and just do kids stuff.....

Rachel - posted on 02/06/2010

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my son will be 2 this summer. I'm ready to go a second round! lol Waiting for couple more months, but i figured my son will be more self sufficiant by then. Whatever works for you =)

Ainsley - posted on 02/06/2010

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Hi .... i have a daughter and son ... they are 23 months apart ..... i found it easier to still get an afternoon nap as the 2 yr old was sleeping for an hour or 2 in the arvo and the baby was too..... i needed that time for a while ..lol..
being a mum is a big job and easy isnt really what it is .... lol.. its maybe a bit more convienient to have them close ..... and they grow together ...too much age difference means they will be at completely different stages as they grow and will have different interests... with them close they seem to play better together as their brains are not on such different levels.....
What ever you decide enjoy your babies... its a big big job and everyone is different....

Debbie - posted on 02/06/2010

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I had my two kids 26 months apart, and I love it. Even in the beginning my older child did well with having a sibling. They now are 5 and 3, they play great together, they don't really fight yet, so my advice is go for it, you will be happy you did.

Ashley - posted on 02/06/2010

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Hi my name is Ashley, I have 3 lil ones & one more on the way.All 3 of my girls are 2 years apart. i have noticed that my kids are very close to each other 7 the older ones help with the youngest ones. Now from my experience it can be a lot of work, because each one needs your time. But in some ways I believe its easier, they all kinda work in the same pattern. I was raised for a long time as an only child & it wasnt fun, but then years later when my brother was born it was kind of a reality shock & it wasnt easy to get use to. i loved him, but it was very hard for me to cope with. As for my kids they grow up use to having other sibblings around & always having a friend to play with. I think its kinda nice to have them a lil close together, better 4 you cause later on you wont have to start all over see right now you will still be in baby mode so it makes it a lil easier!

Cindy - posted on 02/06/2010

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I'm a mother of five and I had the first four in 5 years! It was wonderful...they were all able to enjoy the same activities and I never worried about their safety-they ran in a "pack". it was exhausting for awhile and my only regret was not enjoying it more. Their ages now are 22,20,19,17 and 12. The older 3 are out on their own and all located in the same city (about 100 miles from me :( )so they can be close to one another. They plan weekly events with each other and even lend a hand with $$ or any other need that arise...I wouldn't trade my baby, but he's more solitary and lonly than the others were. His being 5 years behind the others left him with little in common with his sibs! I always reccomend having them close to dispense withe the baby stage as quickly as possible and they're so much fun later on!

Nikki - posted on 02/06/2010

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you either need to have them close or far apart is what i think.it is all what you can handel and also what you can afford.my sister in law well i was prengant with my son when she was pregant .and then i was still preganate when she found out that she was having another one.so it really all depends on you and what you feel is best.my kids are 6 years apart and i would not have it any other way because my little helps me with everthing she love to help and she love to do it.,but again it is all up ti you.good luck

May - posted on 02/05/2010

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yes ! i think it is much better to have one,like i have,2 boys a gap of 1 year and now they just grow up like twins and they are close to each other.You just take care them only at once then stop.

Kimberly - posted on 02/05/2010

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i loved have my first two close together they are 13 months apart i thought it was easy they are now 13 and 12 and cant be with out each other

Aarathi - posted on 02/05/2010

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hey.. grt that u wanna have more but plz take some time to enjoy your first one for awhile.u say ur baby is jus 10 months old. my daughter is 1 yr 7 months and my husband and me are having the best time of our lives. this gap should give you some time to reconnect with your husband and bond with your baby. we are planning to have our next one later this yr, so that the kids will be 3 yrs apart, old enough to take care of each other. so all the best.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/05/2010

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my kids are 17 months apart and we like it. i'll admit, it was weird trying to hoist a baby that didn't quite walk yet on my VERY pregnant hip- but they are both toddlers now and play really well together. and the older one was too young to have a lot of jealousy of the younger one when she came home from the hospital. while baby #2 was a surprise, so i didn't exactly plan it, i am so glad with how it worked out.

Kim - posted on 02/05/2010

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My sons are 18 months apart and I think it was easier. I think if you space them out to far it makes it harder. I think the children have a better relationship when they are closer in age. I still had to entertain, feed, love, play with the 18 month old when I had my baby but by time my second son was 18 months his 2 1/2 year old brother was entertaining, feeding (holding bottle), and play with him.

User - posted on 02/05/2010

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My kids were 23 months apart and are now 3 & 5. It was a struggle for the first year or two but now they are into all of the same things which is nice. It's gotten so easy now that I'm now pregnant with #3!

Connie - posted on 02/05/2010

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My girls are 2-1/2 years apart and I've never regretted it. They played well together and when it came to high school, there wasn't near the competition you have with two close at age. Now that they are grown and have children of their own, they still remain close. My Daughter in law has three, and she said if she had it to do over again she would have had hers three years apart. My mother in law said the same thing, she had 6 boys. the nice thing about having them a little further apart is that you get to enjoy each one a little more, and the older one is more of a help and learns more about being a care giver.
It looks like alot of your advice has come from people that are in your situation. I'm a grandmother, and have seen ther fruits of spreading them out a bit.

[deleted account]

Hi I have a 6 year old and a 15 month old and I am 4months pregnant so I will have 20 months between the younger two. It was pretty easy to cope with the 5 year gap as she was a good help. I think its gonna be a lot harder this time as my 15 month old is very demanding. but I wouldnt change anything and in the end its your decision. goodluck..

Tammy - posted on 02/05/2010

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I have three children all close in age. Stair steps we call them. 16, 15, and 13. My oldest are only 1 year and 10 days apart. My oldest was 3 months old when I became pregnant again. I never really had that hard of a time. Sure, you have your days, but nothing horrible at all. I promise. I love their age closeness. They are more like best friends because of it. Also, when they are at dating age, all 3 of them get to go on the date!! LOL. It's a blessing.

Jaimee - posted on 02/04/2010

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My boys are 1 year and 8 days apart. My eldest is 2 next month, and my youngest is 1 next month. I think that it is just the same as having the one kid but you have to do everything twice. It is good to have kids close together so they can grow up and play together. My boys are best mates.

Melissa - posted on 02/04/2010

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My boys are born exactly 4yrs apart and I think this is much much easier on the mother for so many reasons if anything its been a breeze compared to what I thought it was going to be but.......... maybe not for them to connect or have things in common thou this is not the case for us our boys really enjoy eachothers company there is no sibling rivalry coz the youngest thinks the oldest is the coolest person in the world and looks up to him!

Eleanor - posted on 02/04/2010

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I've heard its hard, but good in lots of ways. They grow up close friends, liking to do the same things. Often the younger one learns off the older one, so potty train at the same time etc. and you get the messy stuff over with early.

Christy - posted on 02/04/2010

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I am an "older" mom with grandchildren. My advice is wait a little longer. The terrible twos are hard enough when you have just one to care for.

Shannon - posted on 02/04/2010

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My daughter is almost four and we are trying for our second. I personally was not ready to have one that close together but everyone is different. I will like them being four years apart. Good luck!

Heather - posted on 02/04/2010

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I have both. My first 2 are 18 months apart and I would not have changed that. My third was 4 years later and it was hell lol my forth came 12 years later and I spent a year thinking I needed to go into the Loony Bin, lol now 10 years later I wouldn't change a thing but I would never go back and do it that way again lol. I wish I could have had them all bang bang bang. Good Luck and do what is best for you

Gwendolyn - posted on 02/04/2010

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It is easier but harder at times. My children are 20 months apart. It was rough during the pregnancy running behind a little toddler. I was also sick allot during my 2nd pregnancy. Now that they are 3 and 4 they fight hard and love hard. It is amazing to see them play and have their little debates. Sometimes I can actually get a little rest because they can entertain each other. It was rough at times having two in diapers and or pull ups at the same time. However, once they moved out of that stage things got so much better. I really wanted my children to be close in age. There was an 11 & 13 year gap between me and my brothers. I felt like an only child at times. I also liked that once we had the 2nd baby I could look forward to tossing my maternity clothing and moving through the stages of growth with them. Go for it. Just be prepared for feeling the empty nest when they leave home within a year or so of each other (for college or marriage etc). Enjoy them while they are so little!

[deleted account]

I'm a mother of four, and the youngest is fifteen, so I been there and done that. Two to two and a half years is a good spread, that way the first one is a little independent, able to feed and entertain his/her self a bit, and understand things like "don't hit the baby", but the kids are close enough to share similar age appropriate activities. Our older three were about two years apart and it was easy to find things to do that were enjoyed by all of them. The last was five years from the next youngest (oops baby). The older kids were kind of past a lot of the movies, trips to the zoo and children's museums that were enriching for the youngest, and we often ended up taking the youngest on his own, or just not able to take time to bring him to some of the exhibits and things aimed at his age group. When they're closer, it's easier to find mutually enriching experiences for the whole family, and all of you can move through the development stages together.

Alma - posted on 02/04/2010

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I am just going to lose the weight I gained with my pregnancy and we are going to try to conceive our last baby. If all goes according to plan, they should have about a 20 month gap. :)

[deleted account]

My son is 2 1/2 and my new son is due in just 2 weeks. It's been hard to be pregnant with a 2 year old at home. I would suggest that you do it sooner if you can! I wished they were closer in age, but I just wasn't ovulating due to breast feeding. It'll be hard to have two kids in diapers at the same time, but whatever, it's the price we pay for wanting them to be closer later in life. We've actually started to potty train, but I'm not pushing it. He's becoming interested now and it's driving me crazy because I don't want to deal with it right now with only 2 weeks left or so in my pregnancy. But, the great thing about my oldest being 2 1/2 is that he understands fully that we are expecting a new baby. We'll see how he does once the new one is here. But I would just say, that if you feel in the right mindset to be pregnant again and you feel healthy enough to do it, than go for it! It may be hard but we can't plan everything in life, and I don't think we're suppose to, so just see what happens. Good luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/04/2010

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Hi Erin... I was reading some of your responses. I thought I might offer a different kind of view on this. I have a 6yr old daughter and am 5 months pregnant. This was not the plan in the beginning. My husband is in the service and was deployed, putting plans on hold. I did not plan to wait this long for a second child, but this is the path our lives are on. I think if you are financially, mentally and physically prepared to have another child now, there is nothing wrong with that. It will definately keep you on your toes. Having them closer together means that they will also be in school together. I don't think there is easier or harder. It is more of "How much do you want to take on at once" I had planned to wait until our daughter was about 3 to have our next child. If my husband had been home at that time, we would have stuck closer to that idea. Just something to think about...Good Luck To You : )

Isabel - posted on 02/04/2010

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Hi Erin I have 4 children first 2 and last 2 16mths apart with a 4 yr gap in between it was great as a child there was 4 yrs between 2 of us and I feel I misses having some one to playwith when I was little we lived in a rural area no preschool

Julie - posted on 02/04/2010

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My husband and I are actually trying to concieve again. our son is almost 3 months old, we figured that it would be easier to have another one now, rather than waiting later because once he turns 2 years old, then its going to be harder cause he will be potty training, plus everyone says terribile 2's for a reason. If I were you I would try asap. :)

Janet - posted on 02/04/2010

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I know a good few moms who had "two under two" . Very hard they say but after first two years over great. They are great company for each other and if same sex clothes and toys really get their full use. I have 3 boys and three and a half years between them. A little too long really I think.

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