Having trouble with my 15 year old

Davie - posted on 10/19/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I would have never thought i would be sitting here desperately seeking advice regarding my 15 year old daughter. I am so deeply in love with her and yet i can barely stand to be around her lately. Everything has changed in this last year. In junior high she was honor roll and played sports. She gets into high school and it all went to shit. I didnt even see it coming.

Out of nowhere she cant stand to be around me, the sound of her sisters voice sends her into a rage. At first i took it for her just being a teenager, but we are well beyond that point now. She is disrespectful not only to me but to others as well. When we do sit down and talk she has a excuse for everything, which pisses me off because she never takes responsibility for anything. It has gotten to the point where she has even ruined family outings. She doesnt take anything serious, not school, not her future, nothing. Everything is a argument with her, i am at the point where i get tired of hearing the sound of my own voice. I have taken away the phone, the computer, she cant go out with friends. I have explained to her that all of these things are earned. She still doesnt care. She is sneaky and i have caught her in lies numerous times.

I need advice. I love her, but i feel that i am ready to tell her eff it live your life the way you feel best kid, and good luck. I cant though, i dont want to give up on her.

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Jodi - posted on 10/22/2012

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Sorry, but when they start wanting those things, it's time for them to get a job. My 15 year old just got a job because I refuse to hand out money like it is growing on the trees. Not happening. He wants the fancy football boots? He can pay for them. He also pays for his own phone credit. Period. I do NOT feel guilty about that. I will buy the essential, the things he NEEDS until such time as he is no longer a full-time student, but I will not buy the *wants* in life for him (unless it is a Christmas or Birthday gift or something).

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Jodi - posted on 10/22/2012

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"she may also realise that study is important, she doens't want a minimum wage job the rest of her life."



LOL, Mardi, that is EXACTLY what I was saying to my husband the other day - that my son would look at his job and realise it ISN'T what he wants to do for the rest of his life, so he might make a greater effort at school as a result. So far so good.....our 20 year old is half way through her University degree ;)

Mardi - posted on 10/22/2012

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You said it yourself......SHE WANTS, and Jodi has explained how she can get wants (get a job).



Ok you want her to study and there is no reason why she cant do both, its not like your asking her to take on a full time job and fulltime school, its a way and means of her getting all her wants and not sending you and her to the streets.

This is a great life lesson.......LIFE ISN'T FREE......stop making things so easy for your kids and they will appreciate it in the long run, she may also realise that study is important, she doens't want a minimum wage job the rest of her life.

Carri - posted on 10/22/2012

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do not feel bad I have three kids asking for name brand clothes. The 20 year old boy will not help clean anything. he charges me to babysit his 10 year old sister. then I feel like not going to work. everyone has their hands out to drain me of my money. I am tired from working 46 hours some weeks. to occasionally 55 hours. then come home to a destroyed house. no one will clean. I know how you feel. I do not remember ever being like any of these kids as a teenager. I got a job at 15 to buy my own clothes and pay for my school fees and lunches. at 18 I worked in a factory full time. I graduated high school and 2 years associates degree in Science. It was real hard but I think now it is harder for parents. more kids have mental illness. The price of everything is so high, clothing and food. yes my son wants $100 dollar tennis shoes. I think a councilor would help me also. dealing with my kids. so I feel for you. I will pray for you. Good luck

Davie - posted on 10/20/2012

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Oh yeah she thinks i have a bottomless bank account. And she wants jordans and name brand when her sister is happy with payless. She used to be good about doing her chores but now i have to be behind her all the time making sure she does them right. Argh! Since i am a single mom i tell my girls we are a team..we need to all help out ya know. I will be calling counselors this week to see if it will help...thanks a bunch.

Carri - posted on 10/20/2012

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she is a teenager now. she could be bipolar like my 17 year old daughter. My daughter argues. she used to be honor roll. but then dropped out. she flys off the handle. she is lazy. she wants me to give her money all the time to buy clothes etc. I am a single mother. my daughter is gonna be 18 and will not get her ged or get a job. I also have 2 other children I am supporting by myself with no child support. so I know. she should talk to a councilor and possibly psychologist. she could have a mental illness.

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