He has another baby 11 months older then my baby with another women

Mama Three - posted on 05/06/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I'm having a difficult time accepting he has a daughter 11 months before me son was born .i dated this guy for 1 1/2 before I got pregnate . I already had two kids and been raising them alone anyways me n my boyfriend broke up for 2 months ,when we got back together he told me he had sex with another girl I accepted it n moved in with him(I was happy he was honest)Shortly after we got engaged and moved in together ...I got pregnate after our son was born the girl he had slepted with during the break up contacted him telling him he is the father of a little girl who is 11 months old .it breaks my heart I feel betrayed and hurt .i know he didn't cheat in me but how do I get passed this ?

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Annie - posted on 05/14/2015

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Wondering if you went to counseling & hope your feeling better.

My kid's also had to go to counseling but only my oldest because the others were tooo small when this all happened. To this day I can say that she was the most affected because she saw the best and worst of of our relationship.
My son & the one with the other family have already started asking all kinds of questions. Like why they were named alike & there birthdays 4 months apart....and so forth. They are starting to put the "puzzel pieces" together & I'm sure their father will have a lot of explaining to do pretty soon.

Michelle - posted on 05/06/2015

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Well, one thing is to just accept it as fact because what's done is done...it can't be undone.

Beyond that, it's a decision you have to make about whether or not you want to stay with this man. If you cannot "get past it," then you need to figure out your next steps. At the moment, it could just be all your hormones from the pregnancy wreaking havoc on your emotions. It's not to say that your emotions aren't valid...just that the hormones are heightening those emotions.

My advice is to be aware of all your options (and their intended and unintended consequences) before you make a final decision. If necessary, you might want to consult with a lawyer to get some advice.

Good luck!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/22/2015

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I'd say make sure paternity is established, custody orders are in place, and support orders as well, and then, personally I'd end the physical relationship with him.

Mama Three - posted on 05/21/2015

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Oh no poor kiddo I know one day my baby would ask ..we can't cover the sun with one finger :( I appreciate you reaching out to me . Thank you for your support and advice hopefully I'll get passes this like you did ..best of luck ♥

Mama Three - posted on 05/21/2015

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First. Of all you or anyone can tell me what to do with my body .i don't owe u anything or any explanation I didn't make the post to ask what to do with my body

Jean - posted on 05/17/2015

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Hi, now you have 3 children, what you need to do is:
1. GET your TUBES tied
2. CONCENTRATE on4. your children for their well being
3. If he was in LOVE with you, he would have given his self a break and kept it in his pants, this 11 month old little girl was all about SEX
4. YOU were BETRAYED and should be hurt
5. GET Yourself out of this relationship, and focus on YOUR children and NOT this man
6. Wake-up, if he does this to you, with no regards to protection on both parties (you and him) it can happen again, Why are you disregarding your children for someone worthless, your children should be the MOST important beings at this point. Take a LONG HARD look in that MIRROR.

Annie - posted on 05/17/2015

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My son came home once crying with questions relating to why was dad so happy with his wife & other family at a dinner they had just dropped him off from. Also stating why I always have to work & she doesn't do anything (they have a full time house keeper & nanny). Luckily my two older daughters were with him at the dinner & noticed that he was opening up to me on his feelings. It was time for a family "intervention" if you want to call it that. I said "I work because I really enjoy it & wouldn't know what to do with myself all day". My girls said "You don't know how good you have it", "we saw mom & dad happy but also some very hard times with lots of fighting words & physical action".
They added how he was just born into the situation & doesn't know different, yet didn't miss out on any love & happiness cause "mom made it work for our (broken) family". I said I'm sure other friends at school have similar/different/better & worse situations.

Mommabird - posted on 05/14/2015

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In in a very similar situation. In currently helping my hubby raise 19 mth old twins that were conceived during a 9 mth separation. We have a 4 yr old together and 3 children from our previous marriages that are 10, 22 and 24. I knew about the pregnancy when we got bk together though...just no dna test until they were born. The day of the test results I was very emotional! Confused...disappointed...trapped..and stressed just thinking about caring for 2 more children. We cried...calmed down...talked...and decided were adults and were good parents so why wouldn't these 2 babies deserve parents who love them and want them...as our own children do. We have been Co parenting with their mother for 15 mths now and even though its extremely stressful and exhausting when we have all 4 kids here we wouldn't deny them this love and happy childhood for anything! If you leave him it should be about You and Him..not the child. But if you stay just remember...All children deserve to have people in their life that love them and want them around. Adults may have messed up and made an Oopsie but the children shouldn't pay for it by being resented for being born. Chin up and think positive! Hope things are better and you found happiness :)

Mama Three - posted on 05/14/2015

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Thanks for asking I did start yesterday it was hard not to crying just explaining my situation.The father of my newborn hasn't been helping in any way not financially or with diapers or bottle feeding I think I'm better off leaving him .i feel alone anyways . I'm very scared of doing alone all over again but I guess I'll have to get over it .i feel like in being punished for something .I'm trying to focus more on the kids n worried about how to support all three yet I'm still very hurt n sad ..how does your son feel about the whole thing ? And is ur daughter still affected now ?

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