He left us, and I am struggling to move on.

Britney - posted on 02/18/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I was with my sons father for 4 years. We have a son who is now 1 1/2 years old... About 4 months ago I received the worst news ever. A girl he used to "hook up with" reached out to tell me he was trying to meet up with her AGAIN. I turns out he had brought her to my house and had sex with her in my bed while I was at work. This happened in February and I just found out the day after my birthday. I kicked him out and left him. I was devastated, 3 months went by and he begged me back. Our son has a syndrome and I'm constantly at the doctors I felt that I should try to make my family work I owed it to my son and I still loved him. However, the trust wasn't there I was always worried and paranoid. He is a mamas boy so every time we argued he just left to his moms and ignore me. Until one day he just text me I'm not coming home again. This time I just said ok and didn't beg him. Well, its been a month he is now with someone new. He probably was talking to her before he decided to actually leave for good. I am heartbroken, I feel its a slap in the face how after everything he has done to me he left us to be with someone else. He has always cheated and lied but I thought he would change after our son was born. How could he just move on so fast. I'm a good woman I did everything for him. He's 25 and I'm 29. It breaks my heart to know that he's with her, while I'm alone with my son. Will he regret it one day walking out on his family? Help.

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Ev - posted on 02/18/2016

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He may or may not regret walking out on the family he helped to create. I am sorry to hear that he did this to you and the baby. What you need to do is get some counseling for yourself if you can and work through this. Also you need to go to court and set up custody, visitation, and child support. It is important to do this so he is held accountable for his actions and to support his child. IF he refuses to see his child that is on him and make a record of that when he does not come to see the child. Just do not hold the child from him though because it will look negative on you.

Michelle - posted on 02/18/2016

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Evelyn has given you some great advice. Get yourself some counseling to build up your own self esteem. You don't need him around for your son to grow into a wonderful young man.
In regards to him regretting his decision, he may or may not. My ex did but didn't admit it until after I had remarried. He told my current husband that his biggest mistake was letting me go. Oh well, his loss. I am now with a wonderful man who accepted my children like his own. I no longer have to worry about my ex cheating (he did that often) and getting drunk every night. I can see my ex being a very lonely old man but that's his choice.

Ev - posted on 02/18/2016

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Britney--Unfortunate as it is, that is how it is a lot of the time. Its not only dads that do this because there are a fair share of moms that also do this too. Just know that you are not alone when it comes to this. But you have to fight to stay strong. And you can do it because you have a good reason to do so: Your son.

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Britney - posted on 02/18/2016

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I start therapy next month. I have very low self esteem because of everything he has done to me. I always asked him "was I not enough"? Now that he started being with someone so soon, makes me feel worse. I was so easy to replace? I own my car, I have my own place, I have a bachelors, and I'm a good mother. What else does he want? 😢

Britney - posted on 02/18/2016

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Thank u for ur advice. I try to stay strong, but its so hard and hurtful. His great grandma takes care of our son and he is supposed to see the baby there but he doesn't show up... Sucks

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