He's even sicker

Amanda - posted on 03/01/2016 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I have posted recently that my 4 yr old continues to come back home from his father's house sick, so basically every other week. Some weeks aren't as bad as other and some weeks require me taking him to the doctors where they end up giving him steroids to help him breathe. This last time takes the cake though...I had to leave work early to take my son to the hospital and he was diagnosed with pneumonia and this upcoming weekend is his dad's weekend. My biggest concern is that his dad has no concern for his health regardless of how many time I talk to him about it, show him doctor reports or even bring it up in court my son is going to come back home even sick and I truly have no idea what to do any more.

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Sarah - posted on 03/03/2016

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Purely from a scientific view a child cannot go over to dad's on Friday, in good health and come home sick with a viral or bacterial infection. It just doesn't happen that fast. that said, I suppose your son could have a chronic condition that is getting triggered by an irritant at dad's house; mold, pets, asbestos, dust, etc. Probably the best way to document this is to take pictures of your son, his temperature and his peak flow volume (this can be measure by a device you can get with a prescription or from your doctor) and oxygen saturation (you can get a device at Walmart for less than 20 dollars that will check this, just ask the pharmacist), then repeat the exact procedure when he returns and take pictures of that as well.

Jodi - posted on 03/01/2016

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But you don't just develop pneumonia over a weekend......this is something that has had time to develop, so he didn't just come home with pneumonia.

Now, I'm not saying that the environment at dad's isn't causing your son's illnesses, I haven't seen dad's house. If it is as filthy as you say and you are concerned for your son's wellbeing, then call CPS and have them check it.

However, a virus or bacterial infection will not generally activate just over a weekend, so if that's what it is, dad's house may not be the problem. If you are convinced it is dad's house, it's most likely an allergy.

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Sarah - posted on 03/03/2016

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" I sent him over to his dad's healthy as a horse got him back on Sunday with a cough." What did you do to treat the cough? Even if he only came home with a cough. If he was completely healthy when he left, it is unlikely a virus had time to incubate in 48 hours. Unless he had the virus before he left your home.

Amanda - posted on 03/03/2016

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I'm not saying he came home with pneumonia, what I am saying is that I sent him over to his dad's healthy as a horse got him back on Sunday with a cough. I started immediately treating him for the cough and over the week with two more (short) visits at his dad's he got worse to the point that Friday I had to take him to the hospital and that is where they told me he has pneumonia. I'm sorry if I made it seem like I believe these things happen over night, I know that is not how things work.

Jodi - posted on 03/01/2016

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OK, so he only gets it when he gets sick.....so you are suggesting he is contracting viruses or bacteria at dad's house and getting sick in that period of time. I'm not suggesting dad's house is clean, but......viruses and bacteria don't make a person sick in a short period of time. So he couldn't go to dad's house on Saturday and then be sick when he comes home on Monday because of dad's house. That's not how it works.

Amanda - posted on 03/01/2016

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He does not have asthma, reactive airway disease is very similar to asthma but only acts up when sick and when it acts up I am on constant alert...One time the doctors had me keep him home from his weekend visit to monitor him for 72 hours (I didn't sleep the whole time)...

Amanda - posted on 03/01/2016

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Every time we have to go to court I bring it up and the judges don't say a word. He's over there more than just every other weekend (that's just when he has his over night), his dad also gets his on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a couple of hours.

Amanda - posted on 03/01/2016

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He has reactive airway disease and it plays a huge roll simply because I cannot get him completely over it before he is back at his dad's...His father has no concern what so ever, not only is his house filthy but he allows him to go outside while it is well below 50 degrees with no jacket, no shoes, no socks...He has been tested for allergies and has none...

Dove - posted on 03/01/2016

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Pneumonia is no fun...my son just had that twice in a month and the second time he had bronchitis added on top of it.

If he has court ordered visitation there isn't much you can do unless you can get the orders changed. If his father will not give him his required medications during the visitation... that would, potentially, be a reason to get the orders changed.

How many times have you gone to court about this issue and what has the judge stated in regards to the father giving the proper medications at the proper times?

I will add though... if he's only at his dad's for the weekend and he comes home sick (vs. showing symptoms 1-3 days after visitation) it is likely that he was contagious w/ the illness prior to the visitations. Unless there is something in his dad's environment that is triggering asthma or an allergic reaction.

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