He wants a baby but not marriage

Ashley - posted on 03/20/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




I'm extremely happy with my boyfriend/best friend. I have a 6 yr old son from a previous relationship even though I went about having him the wrong way, out of wedlock. Next time around I just refuse to make the same bad choice twice. My bf and I have talked about marriage plenty of times no known issues. 2 days ago he says that he wants and is ready to start a family. I was happy but I told him that I wanted to wait for another year or so because of school. So we both agreed then I bring up the "M" word and everything was different. He said he rather have children first. That's far more important to him than marriage first. He and I are also both Christian so this has me not only confused but it has me looking at myself questioning myself. I've been kind of down the past 2 days and haven't talked to him much. I love him and he loves me very much but do I compromise myself? Any advice would be greatly appreciated ladies.


Jodi - posted on 03/20/2014




If he is ready to start a family, then he needs to man up and accept the commitment. Sorry, but I wouldn't be having a baby with a man who doesn't want to marry me.


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Cassie - posted on 03/20/2014




A lot if couples do it this way now days. Have children before marriage I mean. But be true to your self. Trust your gut, and don't do anything that may be hurtful in the future. Talk to your significant other and try to see his side of it. Fill out his fears of commitment, and hopefully you can come to an agreement that you are both comfortable with. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 03/20/2014




No you do not compromise! He wants the cake without the commitment. If he loved you he would see the importance marriage is for you. If he is ready for a baby then he should be ready for marriage. If he is not ready to make that commitment to you then why is he saying he is ready for a baby.......or is he not sure he wants to be with you forever. Then what does that mean you are left single with two kids? If he is a Christian then his morals and values should show that. A Christian tries to do what God would want them to do.....which would be marriage and then sex. Chances are that if baby comes first he will never marry you. If a guy can get his cake for free then why should he change that? Stick to your morals and values....you will never regret being true to yourself!

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