Heart has broken

Billie - posted on 06/05/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a 18 year old daughter. I have been divorced for 4 years and my ex and I dont get along. He cheated on me and confessed to me and the kids. We divorced and he started lieing to my daughter. He told her that I hurt him and that I was cheating and it started to hurt my relationship with her, he continued to lie to her and told her that I cheated with my now husband while i was married to him. Long story short, she has stopped talking to me, I havent talked to her sence November of last year. She moved out and now lives with her dad and his new wife full time. This woman has said she hates me and I believe is the last woman he cheated on me with. I have good reason to believe it but will not go into it right now. I have and would never talk poorly of her dad or even his new wife. I dont know what other lies he has said but she is so angry with me they must be bad. She told me that I never loved her and that she hates me for what I did to her dad. I missed her 18th birthday and now I am about to miss her graduation. I have seen her a few time in public places with my ex and his new wife. My heart is broken, I dream she comes home every night. I feel so alone. My new husband is so supportive and is hurting as well. He cared for her just as he cared for his own. She has become someone I dont reconize at all. She stopped talking to most of her long time friends. She now mimmic's my ex's new wife. She cut all her hair off and has her manorisms. She will stand between them and stair at me, smiling. I feel like I cant breath, my heart races, and I feel like I am going to faint when I have seen her like this. I just have to leave as soon as possible. How could I have been so horible too her, to deserve this. She was my sweet baby. How can it be that her dad confesses to cheating and becomes the "good guy" in her eyes. I really want to see her graduate, I dont even have to talk to her, I just want to see my baby cross the stage!

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Billie - posted on 01/21/2014

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I went to her graduation! She was very upset. However, after 4 months, she contacted me. She had moved out of her dad's house and now lives with me. She has seen her dad as how he is as is not talking to him. I have been encuraging her to talk with him and she has called him twice. Both times did not end well but I am trying to teach her to forgive.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/06/2013

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Have your son take plenty of pictures. And contact a family mediator to try to get this resolved. Sounds like your ex is trying to sabotage the relationship, but she may also just have it in your head that you are the bad one, because she just cannot see her "daddy" as being bad.

Still doesn't make it right, but...

The other thing is that, is it by invite only? My nieces and nephews school had tickets too, but the tickets were to be seated closer to the stage if you were immediate family. All other attendees sat in the bleachers/balconies. Would that be a possibility for you? She wouldn't even see you there...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/06/2013

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Unfortunately it sounds like you are going to have to respect her wishes and not go. That is heart breaking. Is there any way that you can speak to the father and ask why he is destroying your relationship with your daughter? I don't understand why a parent would do something so awful.

Billie - posted on 06/05/2013

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She just called me. She said that the school has been informed not to give me tickets. That she will make sure I do not go to see her graduate. How could someone so beautiful have so much hate in her heart. Her brother will be with me the week she graduates and she is demanding that I allow her dad to take him to her graduation. What do I do? Do I give up?

Billie - posted on 06/05/2013

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I am working on the ticket thing now. I have lied to the school and told them that I have a surprise guest for her, because the senior is susposed to pick up any additional tickets for her family. I already feel awful for doing that. I have written her tons of letters, none have been mailed. Some tell her everything, all the pain I have endured during my marriage to her dad, some are just memories of her growing up. Some are a mixture of both. My husband says I just need to be patient.That it may take years for her to come back to me. That she owes me an apology. YEARS? I dont care if she apologies or not. I just want to hold her. I cant imagine waiting years to see and touch her. How much I will miss out on, her first real job, her first boyfriend, her first car. The pain is overwheming.

G - posted on 06/05/2013

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So sorry for what you're going through, Billie. Perhaps you can mail her a letter hoping that, in time, she'll come to understand that divorce makes people do and say awful things, but that no parent should ever say hateful things about the other parent--that you should all be in each others' lives forever.

Re: the graduation: is there a way you can contact the school, explain the situation and try to get a ticket?

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