HEEELP

Lyn - posted on 12/27/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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my daughters father has me in court to get overnights with my 8 1/2 month old child, it got continued after his lawyer totally spined things around to make me look like some awful person, the father left when wewere a few months pregnant at my request for a number of reasons, he lied and said i wantedto drinkand smoke when i was pregannt, R U KIDDING ME. The judge appears to be completely on his side and now talking about 50/50 He never even knew he was having a daughter and never met her until she was 5 months old he has only seen her 9 times and has no idea what to do with her. I am just following expert advice to wait to start overnights until she is older,(18 months) I just began letting him take her alone, which apparently letting her ge tto kjnow him was also wrong I should have just handed my daughter to him. I just dont get it all the experts say you need to buils a relationship, i fear she is going to fell scared and feel like i abandoned ehr, thos feelings will last fo ever and i dont know what to do.

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Jodi - posted on 12/27/2011

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I guess, before I answer, I need to ask why he didn't know he was having a girl, and why he never saw her until she was 5 months old, and why he has only seen her 9 times. The only reason I ask is because regardless of your relationship with him, he is still the father and he has rights too. And while we are talking about rights, your daughter also has rights to get to know both parents equally. So I can understand why your ex would want some overnights.



Not sure about the 50/50 because I don't know either situation, and I don't know where you live. So it's hard to tell if it is a feasible option. But the thing about a custody battle is that it isn't about you, it is about the rights of the child to have a relationship with both parents. If you don't have a lawyer, you definitely need one.

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Many, many courts will give 50/50 custody unless one of the parents are unfit. Are you breastfeeding? It is my understanding that some courts will not do overnights at least until a year old if the mother is breastfeeding.

The only other thing I have to say is get a good lawyer. Due to our circumstances my ex didn't have an overnighter w/ our son until he was 2.75 years old. If he lived here and had actually been involved earlier (my son's first visit w/ him was at 17 months).... overnights probably would've started a lot earlier.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/27/2011

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You need to find a good lawyer for yourself and have your pediatrician make medically recommended suggestions if possible. He/she may not want to get involved, but it is much more difficult to go against medical advice in courts. Get a kick ass lawyer!

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