Blessing - posted on 02/08/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
I'm here to socialise with other mothers and to ask advises on a very sensitive issue in my life.
This has taken me a lot of courage to put it out here, because I feel it is too heavy to carry now and I think I need other mothers support . And if I could also help other mothers in dealing with situations like mine.
My children's father (ex partner) of 5yrs, bought a family house and moved out of Switzerland to neighbouring France none married. In Switzerland without marriage the mother has 100%, and in France married or not is both parents which is not a problem for me, because i know how worried it is for him not to have any.
Then he became aggressive and physically hurt me once, not to mention the emotional abuses as a full time stay at home mom. My mother suffered physical abuses from my father until he left home. So I couldn't accept him.
I tried to forgive him and stay for our kids because I understand it would be difficult for them. After 1yr and half he surprised me with a letter from the Justice to present in count . I was in shock and afraid he will take my kids from me, so the only place I could run to was Switzerland to protect my custody right, moved into the shelter home for mother in abusive relationships, but unfortunately things changed due to my living in France.
It was a big battle lawyers in France and Switzerland and he took my baby Veronica from school on my behalf and my kids where separated for 5months, this was heart broken for my baby Danae without her sister. They were so little and I blamed myself. The Swiss couldn't make any decisions when the judgement came out in France that he has full custody, because I didn't have a home to keep them, Job or Neither was my resident permit renewed back after my return as he did every to block it out. I appealed the judgement, but the second came back reconfirmed which leaves me helpless. I couldn't fight anymore after 1yr and I decided to fix myself, got a home, got a job as Receptionist and authorization documents to work while waiting for my ID. It has been 2yrs this Feb I've been living alone without my babies, although I they visit me every second weekend, 4nights a month. I've been very strong hoping that soon I will come back for get 50% custody wen my ID is out. And I lost my job Jan 31st and keeping busy was my only escape from feeling it much.
Now... I feel broken again, losing hope that I may never get there finically stabled enough to get them. God has been so faithful and encouraging and I've made it this far, but I feel so lonely and I miss them so much as they grow older, it is very hard and nobody can understand how heavy is my heart. I feel I failed them. I feel like a big baby who need a hug and a shoulder to cry when I break down from the super woman that I chose to be everyday with a big smile. I want inspirational support from other mothers out there, Please how can I cope emotionally?..