Hello my daughter aged 18 has just told me she is pregnant. She dropped out of school in May this year and has been working casual at a fast food restaurant. I don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. Her dad is vaery angry and told her she has to have a termination, but she is saying she wants to keep the baby. I just don't know...........:(

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Jodi - posted on 10/12/2015

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At this stage, this is not her father's choice. She is 18, and she is an adult (although even if she was 15, you can't force a child to have an abortion). The best thing you could do, as parents, is to discuss all of her options with her and support her in her decision. The appointment at the Family Planning centre is definitely a good idea, but please don't allow her to be forced into doing something she really isn't wanting to do. Sure, it will be difficult, but it's not the end of the world if she has the baby. Plenty of people do and still make a good life for themselves. In fact, many 18 year olds are quite capable of making it on their own when not enabled (at the moment, if she is not working and not at school, she is being enabled).

Mama - posted on 10/12/2015

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Yes, we all want more for our kids, and it is so hard to settle for less. I have dropped my standards so much in the last 8 months, and am now letting things go that I never thought anyone in their right mind would. I bet you are wondering too how your daughter is so unaware of the reality she has created. They think liife will be soooo rosy.

I'm glad to hear you are able to take her to Planned Parenthood. Hopefully they will not only counsel her in all possible options, but also offer support and options should she decide to keep the baby.

Please take good care, and keep us updated. I will be thinking of you all.

Alison - posted on 10/12/2015

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Thank you. Rebecca currently lives with her father we are separated but still talk obviously. I have made an appointment at Family Planning for myself and Rebecca to attend, they hopefully will provide her with all the information needed to assist in making the right decision. Her dad and I have told her what to expect if she keeps the baby but she is off in la la land at the moment. I feel very disappointed and sad but I love her and I know that right now she needs support and I'm sure she's going through a lot of emotions but won't open up to us. Hopefully the session at Family Planning will help with this...... The father of the baby is still on the scene, but like Rebecca doesn't have a permanent job or any saved money. He lives at home with his mum. I just can't believe this is happening...I wanted more for her.

Mama - posted on 10/12/2015

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I'm very sorry for you, Alison. It is so tough raising older teens. They are bent on being adults, but really many of them, mine included, are not more than babies with overactive hormones. We WANT to set them free to fly out of the nest, then they go and do something so life changing, and not in a positive way. I was going to tell you what I would do, but you and your husband are going to have to come to that decision together, as tough as it will be. All I can say is counselling for all of you, if possible, and if not, for you alone, Really does help bring clarity to the situatIon. Stay strong for yourself and your husband first, and also your daughter. Good luck and big hugs!

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