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Mari - posted on 06/16/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have an 18 years old daughter who just graduated from high school. She's leaving to USAFA in less than a week. We had an argument. She moved back in with her father and she's not talking to me. I have asked for sincere apology. She's very bitter and not reconciling before she leaves. What should I do?

It started off with sibling rivalry that ended with me and my 18 years old daughter. Argument happened the night of June 11, I said things I regret saying. I told her she's an adult, she has a lot of money, purchase your own ticket and go to Colorado Springs now! That same night she threaten to leave. I apologized to her for what I said and I asked her not to leave. She left anyway, she started walking to her boyfriend house but I followed her and beg her to come home. She walked around our subdivision while on the phone with her boyfriend until her phone battery died. I asked her again to come home. She didn't want to get in my car so she walked back home. I followed her until we got home at 1am. At around 3am in the morning, she left the house and walked 2 miles to her boyfriend house. I didn't know until I got a text from her boyfriend to let me know that my daughter made it to their house safe and sound. He said he was on the phone with my daughter until she got there. He told his parents my daughter was coming over but he didn't tell his parents my daughter was walking to his house. This whole thing made me very upset and obviously we can't understand one another's hurt. I reached out to her yesterday morning but she refuse to talk and reconcile. I told her I love her until the day I die. I suppose to fly to Colorado with her but she doesn't want me to fly with her. She wants her dad. My daughter and her father did not have relationship until all of these happened. I encouraged her before to continue her relationship with father but she refused until our argument. I don't know what to do. Please help.

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Ev - posted on 06/18/2016

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And it sounds like both have fault in this argument. I think maybe you should give her some time to come around and apologize again both of you.

Beth - posted on 06/17/2016

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Wow, sounds like it was quite a disagreement. If she still wants to go to her dad's by herself she is 18 yrs and can do so. What is important is that she knows that you love you (and I bet she knows that.)

When she is ready to contact you, she will.

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Mari - posted on 06/20/2016

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Sibling rivalry is when one demands rather than asking kindly. When her demand was being corrected she became defensive. As I stated on my post, I did encouraged her to keep her relationship with her dad ever since we got separated. I suggest you would read first before you reply, you hurt people's feeling rather than helping. There's nothing more I wanted than my daughter and her dad to reconcile before she left to college.

I gave her space. She realized she was wrong. We reconciled this weekend. She is off to college next week. God made it all work for good. One thing I learned from all of these is to keep calm and let God. Thank you for your reply to my post.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/18/2016

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I'm wondering how "sibling rivalry" escalated in to you telling your daughter to fend for herself...

There is fault on both sides here. You, as the more mature adult should have guarded your words and not spoken out in anger, and telling her to fend for herself. She only followed your direction at that point.

You need to be patient at this point. There is no reason why she can't have this relationship with her father, and you should be encouraging that, rather than discouraging it.

When she is ready, she'll contact you. When she does, you BOTH need to apologize to each other.

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