HELP!!!! 2 FAMILIES, OUR FAMILY, AND ALOT OF PAIN!!

LUVNKIDS - posted on 11/22/2014 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Okay im gonna make this short nd sweet because i am tired of this, everyday i stress about this and i have became a bitch. So i messed up by telling my fam about my relationship and they now dont like him or trust that he loves me.. and his fanily dont like me bc of past history and alot of drama with them, not saying it was only me but was them too... mil and sil live right next door and my mom stays 35min away... his mom and sisters secretly hate me, but they always come over while bf at work and when i try to talk to them about starting over tghey twist everything up and make it seem like im bad mouthing or doing somthing to them, they have told me they miss their bro and miss her son, the thing is they dont call him or try to spend time with him bc they feel sorry for me, but i dont want them to, idc i jist want everyone happy, so after months and months of going next door crying almost begging her to try to like me and forgive and forget i get a im not kissing yalls ass.... but she comes over and tries to talk to me and its kinda like fake or whatever and im not liking it, like she will invite me and our kids to go walk but on fb or to her other fam members shes like i asked her to go walk, kinda like she dont like me in front of them but when noones around ahe likes me then... by the way she told his whole fam about me i dont even know them but they hate me already, me and my bf are kinda like were in a relationship with jiat us we dont care what anyone else thinks, but sometines i do, she has told all his friends and people from the stores that i talk about then when i dont say anything bad about anyone to this lady all i want is for her to like me or at least leave me alone if she doesnt like me, she wont tell me she doesnt like me either.,. But we wanna get married, so im thinking about calling her over and asking her in front of her son for her blessing, i really dont care about her not blessibg but dont want to go behind her back and marry her son, weve been together for almost 8 years and been through everything and we have two beautiful boys, so should i talk to both of them, we both wanna get married but i am terrifie of terrified that his fam is gonna break us up, they have turned almost everyone in our city against us including fam memebers, and my fam memebers are hearing that ive talked bad about tem when i never even mention their name to this woman, i believe their jealous, but i believe they shoulsnt be messing with me they should just spend as much time with him as tghey want to:((( ive let this stress me out for too long, im done with this shit today. Also their nice people but not nice to me or anyone that has crossed them before.... but we do wanna get married.

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Michelle - posted on 11/22/2014

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Seriously, this is worse than a soap opera.
If your friends and family are that shallow then you don't need them. You love the drama, that's why you won't move away.
You've been given advice but just come up with more drama. Are you even reading the advice?
I'm starting to think Troll though.

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LUVNKIDS - posted on 11/23/2014

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Im not trolling im just expressing how i feel its like ive been holding it in forever, and its really made me emotionally distressed, and weve been together for 8 years, we moved into our house and have been living here for almost two years, she just moved innext door this year we loved our neighborhood and neighbors and our first home, but now not too happy. And i think therapy wpuld help too. I just care so much about them liking me and its making me crazy.. everytime i get mad i get anxiety this started from this stress. I believe its bc i actually told her that its affecting me and tyhe way i act in my relationship... so i just need to stop caring but its easier said then done bc i actually do care

Dove - posted on 11/23/2014

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Ditto Michelle.

And... therapy is a beautiful thing... whether you are just trolling or you're really legit.

Gena - posted on 11/22/2014

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Wow thats alot of drama!!!!If i were you i would have moved away along time ago.you really think you are going to get her blessings?i wouldnt be to sure. And if i were you i wouldnt actualy care. Try stop letting others make your life a mysery!

LUVNKIDS - posted on 11/22/2014

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And she having thanksgiving and want us to come but im tired of all this, thinking i should kusy send the kids and bf, but dont want him to get madat me

LUVNKIDS - posted on 11/22/2014

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I do i let it get to me so bad that i have dreams of her breaking us up and sometimes i cry all day and my kids see me and my bf sees and it upsets him, but noone understands what im saying, and im a stay at home mom with 2 kids aged 2 and 11 months, she munipulates me, And i dont get out the house at all, she gave us advice to sell our other car and then gave him advice that he should get out the house more, mostly its just me and the kids at home by ourselves, she stays next door kinda hard to avois, and now shes moving her daughter in same street and im going crazyd its kindve hard to ignore when everyone use to like us and come over and hang with us, and every person that she found out came over all of a sudden they stop coming over and if they do they are always making smart remarks as if i said something to cause it when i didnt. Its like when i stop going over there she would come over and act like she like me and i would tell her my baby started walking and he tries to jump out my arm and then she would say oh you said you now he doent like me holding him and she would say oh you said your glad he started walking so you dont have to hold him anymore and would tell everyone that and today she came over to bring his nephews and she said she know were struggling so she bought 6 ornaments for our tree and she then told everyone i said were broke i have actually started recording her lies, she talks to me about everyone and tells them i talk about them, i have talked to her plenty of times and told her that . Also she came over and seen we had a white tree so she went back next door and bought the same tree, also with the house, its like shes competeing with me trying to make me jealous, and she even told my sil that im jealous of her she told everyone fam and friends and it wasnt true, my bf doesnt know anything i tried to tell him but he doesnt believe me and he believes her and start treating me bad before i could tell him tyhe truth, idk what she tells him thats why i record everytime im alone with her. I jusy want my fam to be happy and i want to be happy.

Michelle - posted on 11/22/2014

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Aren't you already engaged? If you are then she would know you intend to get married, if not then get engaged and she will figure it out.
You are letting it affect you, why are you so worried about gossip? You know the truth and that's all that matters.

Dove - posted on 11/22/2014

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I'd let him handle his mother and what is and is not said to her. Sounds like you kind of like the drama if this has been going on for 8 years and you are still pushing it w/ the woman....

LUVNKIDS - posted on 11/22/2014

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Just wanted her to know that i love him and ive been here all this time and im not going anywhere!!!

LUVNKIDS - posted on 11/22/2014

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Thank you because its like they like me and then they hate me, kinda like playing with my emotions, and i am so stressed that its affecting my relaionahip and me as a mother. What are your suggestions on me asking his mom about marrying him while were all together in one room? I dont wanna go behind her back but i jist want her to know that im gonna marry him with or without her blessing... i would love to move but my bf im not so sure of, see they were all close until i came along and i even noticed he started to forget about spending time with them still, now i feel like they want me gone to get him back... but i dont care anymore i love him and we have a wonderful family... pray for us...

Michelle - posted on 11/22/2014

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I agree with Dove, far too much drama.
If the "whole city" is against you then it may be time to move far away and start fresh.

Dove - posted on 11/22/2014

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Sounds like way too much drama and immaturity... from everyone. If you have been w/ this guy for 8 years... it's not likely that his family is going to change. Either you and your boyfriend are going to have to stick together against them and go make your own life together... or you're just going to have to keep dealing w/ this nonsense.

I would not be going to them and begging/asking them for anything... nor would I be allowing them in my home when the boyfriend isn't there. Just live your life and ignore them except where HE includes them in his presence.

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