Meghan - posted on 03/22/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )
I have a 3.5 yr old biological son AND a 3.5 yr old step son. They are 11 days apart. We have been in each others lives for 1.5 yrs now. We (my husband and I) raised our boys very differently before we met. Him- passive/allowing and little to no discipline. Me- strict and set rules (loving but firm style). My son listens to both of us (with occasional tantrum as to be expected) whereas my stepson mostly doesn't listen at all. He doesn't take his dad seriously when hes told to do something and he'll do what I say, but only if I'm firm/intimidating, and only if Im near by. My husband is taking a very active role in trying to get him to listen and follow rules but even his "best buddy" daddy cant get him to LISTEN.
At times its like its in one ear and out the other. He knows how to respond to keep us at bay, but keeps doing what we asked/told him not too. Other times its complete ignoring, and the most infuriating one is when hes purposefully being defiant (ie. looking directly at us with a smirk, while doing the thing we said not too). We have tried positive reinforcement, punishment, taking toys away, time out, etc. Nothing connects with him! Hes upset for a second then back to whatever he wants with no regard. All the while we have a newborn (4 wks) and my son in the mix. The boys are the same age, but mentally/maturity wise, they seem worlds apart. We have been researching trying to find information on 3.5 yr step brothers and what we can do to help them but not getting anywhere. We are afraid he will get hurt or other things because of his lack of listening. We are at our wits end with the child!!!