HELP.. 30 year old step daughter won't move out and acts like the wife

Debbie - posted on 06/27/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Help.. my husband moved his grown almost 30 year old daughter into our home almost a year ago from out of state after she graduated from college. She got a great paying job about 4 months after she moved in. she pays no bills , no rent and all of her money I found out from her father she is using to pay of her past debt. First I don't see how she has any debt as he paid for her rent, bills, college tuition etc everything while she was in college. He gave her a car which she ruined, gave her a 2nd car which see ruined again. then gave her a 3rd when she moved in with us, which we pay the insurance and she is destroying that one. She volunteers several days a week sleeps all day and is making no effort to look for a place. I found out that she has now registered and been accepted into an online school to obtain her masters!! who is paying for this I can only imagine. I have mentioned to my husband gently that she needs to get her own place and I find out that he told her she can stay with us until she graduates.... I had no say in this apparently. all of my 5 children are grown and on their own. my youngest is 18 and in college staying at the dorms. she stays with us in the summer and is trying to move out asap. she is extremely angry at why his daughter is allowed to live scott free at her age. I don't want to cause a war but we are looking to move and I found my dream house. but I don't want her to move with us. Her mother lives close and doesn't do anything to help her.. I figure she could move in with her... This woman child has the I am better than you attitude and tries to run her dad as if she is his wife... I don't want to cause problems in my marriage but I can't keep dealing with this... he tell me I got to see my kids all the time and he didn't see her as she lived in another state. well he can still see her when she moves into her own place. I am so stressed help!!!!!!

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Jennifer - posted on 01/03/2015

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So sorry to hear this. I have some similarities to this situation, except my stepdaughter is a 20 year old deadbeat. I guess you are going to have a talk with your husband (maybe not a gentle one) telling him you are not on board with the situation. There is no reason the 30 year old (with a job, no less) can't implement her own budget and move out into her own modest small apartment while she pursues her masters. Many of us have been on our own at an earlier age and survived...she can too. Just my 2 cents. God Bless.

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