Leslie - posted on 11/25/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
My 21 year old daughter and granddaughter live apart from me. How do I separate myself so I am not so effected by her destructive choices. I have a childcare home and take care of my granddaughter but it is soooo hurtful to see her come in daily. She lives in a mess, her "new boyfriend" looks a mess. They smoke around the two year old.. trash is turned over in the house, dirty clothes all over the kitchen floor. He has no car no job and no home. NOTHING TO LOSE. she has all of it. I always tell her,, dont give yourself to people who have nothing to lose. especially when she does have everything to lose. I just cant get over all the what if's. She gained over 100 pounds in her last "relationship" plus health issues.. we (me and my younger ones) dont visit because the house is a pig pin. and even the air is hazardous. My grandaughter has had warts at 1 yr old. a black eye which was explained away. She has seziers. Frankly I do not intend to spend the rest of my life fighting for her.I feel selfish but Ive been through so much already. I cant believe this is the result of me raising her. It is so hurttful. I don't want to deal with it. I'm starting to feel like i need counseling. Would it be a bad idea to stop providing childcare for my granddaughter? I cant ignore what i am seeing, I think about her bringing bad elements around my granddaughter but i have 3 other children and myself to protect and have a positive attitude for. It just brings me down. At this moment i cant stop crying.
I feel like I need to move out of this state.. Its such a small community. I dont want to run into her or anyone that has an update on her. I also think about the people she associates with becoming angry with her and possibly doing harm to my family at home. I am so upset. I just want it to be OVER