HELP!!

Alisha - posted on 06/04/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Nothing I do seems to be working... I took away all her toys and movies., she still insist on whining and there is no such thing as fun now. I don't know if IAM doing the right thing. It feels like IAM neglecting her and its making matters worse. IAM trying the isolation thing and I feel like IAM neglecting her what should I do??

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/04/2014

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How old? What is she doing to get consequences levied against her?

Have you also tried explaining WHY she's being punished, and what she can do to not get in trouble the next time?

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Alisha - posted on 06/04/2014

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Oh no there are times when e is an angel an constantly remind her that she is Doug great and when she is I usually reward her with either a night out ( going to the movies of her choice, candy, amusement park, and things like that) but when she is bad I remind her as well if she doesn't like time outs or not being able to play outside than she needs to listen!! Ad I stree the listening. He is not in school yet but she will be coming this fall. I think that would help out a lot as far as the Borden and also she can relate to other kids as well. She is primarlily around adults an I think that's the biggest reason why she is acing the way she is

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/04/2014

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In addition to what Jodi has stated, a 5 year old DOES have verbal ability, and can use words. If she is not, you need to encourage her to do so, because her teachers won't want a whiny child who refuses to verbalize...it takes a lot of attention away from the rest of the class.

So, start applying some rewards/consequences system, and make sure you EXPLAIN to her what your expectations are, frequently. Also make sure that, when she does behave as you wish, you need to notice that, compliment her, or whatever your 'reward' system will be.

She's learning how to take things away and ignore you...that's clear. Now, try using your words as well, and explain things! You'll be amazed at how much your 5 year old actually understands.

Jodi, thanks for taking the time to find the info on the age.

Jodi - posted on 06/04/2014

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I just looked up the profile and we are talking about a 5 year old. Firstly, can I ask if she is at school yet? This can make a huge difference. I found with all of my kids, just before they started school, they became incredibly bored, and a bored child will act up.

Secondly, do you ever reward her when she behaves correctly. You can't tell me her behaviour is ALWAYS inappropriate. There must be times when she does the right thing. You need to make a point to praise her or reward her when she does do the right thing, because unless we reward our kids for the correct behaviour, how do they know what the behaviour is we are looking for? We aren't automatically born with knowing what good and bad are. It is a learned knowledge that needs to be taught.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/04/2014

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Again, HOW OLD???

Different measures work for different ages.

Alisha - posted on 06/04/2014

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That's problem even when I do relax and we have a great day... She thinks she can do whatever she wants everyday.. And IAM there to set the guidelines so tht she doesn't grow up being spoiled an thinking that she is better than everyone.

Erisreignssupreme - posted on 06/04/2014

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that doesn't sound like fun for anyone. why not forget about it for a while and enjoy a fun day with your kid. relax and let her touch things…don't put her in a thing if she hates it respect her right to decide. its not all about rules and doing what your told in life and maybe she's here to teach you how to relax and have some fun. little kids tell you what to do cos they have heard you speak that way they reflect us back to ourselves and show us what mean nagging bossy people we can be. chill out destress go and enjoy your life with her she's only young once. constant punishing is a horrible thing for you as well as her… overreacting is obviously in the family. let yourself off the hook she's not going to be spoiled if you don't punish her for one day and just let her lead you for the day…go where she wants to take you:)

Alisha - posted on 06/04/2014

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Yeah I tried everything time out,taking away stuff, not playing outside, even not including her fun activities. She is so disrespectful, she she tells me what to do. What she is going to do. She is seriously acting like the little grown up. The constantly talks back we tried tellin her the reporcussions if she keeps acting the way she does there is goin to be a greater punishment and yet yet she keeps up the attitude. I scared to even take her to the store because he like to touch everything and when I put her in the cart she tries a HUGE SCREAMING FIT. I am at my wits end. I tried explaining to her tht when you grow up you still har to listen to somebody and also my fiancé works graveyard and when he gets home I tell ER before she goes to bed not to wake him up and yet he only gets 3 hours if sleep and we told her the consiquences of what could happen and it seems like she doesn't care if something happens. I can only keep my cool for so long after that I break and I can't show how strong I am when I break down and cry in front of her. She does great for awhile an we reward her for that but everytime she does good shortly after so is right mans to that same route an. Everytime I compliment her on her actions she expects a reward.

Erisreignssupreme - posted on 06/04/2014

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well if it doesn't feel right. its probably wrong. if the kid is too young to talk about why she is whining then she is probably too young to be punished or rejected emotionally for having some negative whining feelings. i mean don't we all get whiny? doesn't it hurt when our loved ones don't try to understand and just demand that we cheer up or else they don't want to talk to us? if she is doing it to manipulate you thats another matter. but there is no reason to emotionally neglect or isolate someone for trying to do that…we all do it….but you can stay calm and loving and not respond to her whining by giving her positive OR negative attention. you can just say sorry honey i can't understand what you want when you whine you'll have to use your words. that way you are acknowledging that she wants something but telling her that whining is not an effective way to get it. you can help her to find another way by using words pictures etc….that way your showing you care that she is trying to communicate and that she is feeling whiny but not letting her rely on that form of communication.

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