help

Jessica - posted on 10/24/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have had my kids from day one and have full custody of them with thee father having them everyother weekend and he has the option to get them one day a week and during summer and holidays well he only takes them everyother weekend and we share holidays and now that they just started school he is saying he wants to take me to court because I don't let him see them. but he never calls me unless its his weekend or a family members birthday..exc my question is if he takes me to court and trys for full custody or even joint can he get it from he? he wasent in there life until they turned 1 and still only sees them everyother weekend and that's not me its all on him. well thank you all for you comments

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Sarah - posted on 10/24/2014

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My suggestion is that you document, document, document. Every phone call, every pick up time and drop off. Also, the days you anticipated him having the kids but he did not choose to see them. Keep it objective, time, date briefly what happened.
if you go into a custody hearing with a complete summation of when you've had the kids, when he has etc. You will feel better about retaining primary or joint custody. It won't be a he said she said scenario. Keep the dirty laundry out of it entirely. It does not matter if he forgot to send back their socks, of he was cranky etc. Just who, what, when and where....the judge will figure out the why.
Are you preventing the kids from going to visit? The best thing you can give your kids is a good relationship with their dad. You might not love him but they do.

Raye - posted on 10/24/2014

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If you are a capable parent, most likely the courts would not give him full custody. They still tend to award primary guardianship to the mother. However, it doesn't sound like you have full custody now, if he's supposed to have them every other weekend and some holidays. Is this just out of the goodness of your heart, or do you have a visitation agreement set by the court? If you have a visitation agreement and you are not letting him see the kids on his appointed days, then you could be charged with contempt of court and parental alienation. The father does have rights.

If he does take you to court, they will probably order some kind of joint custody arrangement unless you have proof that he is an incapable parent. If you just don't like him, that's not good enough. Just because he didn't show much interest before doesn't mean that he can't step up and try to do better now. It's not your right to deny him access to his child.

Dove - posted on 10/24/2014

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There is no real way to predict how a judge will or will not rule. If neither of you have evidence to support your claims (him claiming you keep them away, you claiming it's all on him) then it's just he said, she said stuff... which judges don't tend to like. He MAY be entitled to joint custody at this point, but he will not get full custody unless he has any solid evidence proving you are unfit.

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